Stuck in a Rut? Start Over: New Affirmations, Wins and Losses in the Journal, and 120% No Matter the Format

Welcome to Mornings with Matt, personal and professional development training that connects the art of acting with critical life skills and self-mastery. Presented by the Dearing Acting Studio. So good morning. How are you doing today? Good morning. I'm doing pretty good. Good. Yeah, pretty good. Nice. So talk to me about that moment, actually, the waking up. Yeah. I don't know. It's something just waking up in general or specifically today.

Yeah, today. Because, you know, I agree with you. What happens is we do exert a lot of energy in master class, and it's a lot of emotional and mental, and even though we're online, I mean, a physical energy. You know, there's a lot that kind of goes into that experience, and it's hard to explain if you're not a part of it, but when you become a part of the master class, it's like afterward, you're just like, whoa, what happened to me, you know?

So this morning you had this feeling of, like, it was really hard to get up, right? Yeah. Yeah. So tell me about that decision to get up, because I think we're all faced with the decision every day to wake up. Uh-huh. For sure. Yeah. Like I said, it was just really, I was really tired. You know, I got, I usually stay up pretty late. I'm kind of a night owl.

And yeah, last night, like, even like, it was probably nine o'clock, and I'm just, I could barely keep my eyes open. I was so tired from the day. And my decision to get up, obviously, I really wanted to come talk to you and ask you some questions, but it's something I struggle with, and I'm really trying to get better just no matter how tired I am. I mean, I even woke up before my alarm clock, too, just to really push through and take that next step. And I know it's only going to help me grow as a person, so just trying to fight that feeling is something I'm trying to overcome.

Because I'm such a snoozer, even, like, getting up for work, snooze, go back to sleep, snooze. Right. So, it's always tough for me. Well, and so, the reason I asked was it was really hard for me this morning as well. Oh, okay. I was working on some of our business analytics and things last night, and I passed out on the couch. And so, it was, like, you know, three in the morning, and she's like, hey, babe, your alarm's going off. I don't know if you want to wake up.

And I started babbling something about setting up cameras or something. I don't know what I was talking about. But there was this decision, you know, and I was faced with the decision, and I wanted so badly to go back to sleep. I really did. And what's interesting, though, is for me, the motivating factor just today was Joey. And the reason was, yesterday, he told me, he's like, dude, I'm getting up tomorrow. I can't wait to see you in there. I'm going to do the 3.30 thing. I'll see you in there.

Wow. So, when I woke up, and I was faced with that choice, because it wasn't about me, that's why, and I was like, oh, like, he'll be fine. And then I'm like, no, dude, like, you got to be there. You got to show up, because you got to set that example for the person who's trying to, you know, trying to do what they're going to do. And so, what's interesting is today, you had something extra in this show, you know, because you've committed to being here.

So, by making that pre-commitment, you've told yourself, okay, well, I've committed to something that I can't get out of, so to speak. And what's funny is, Joey didn't even show up at the 3.30 mark. He missed it. Oh. But it didn't matter, because I'm still grateful for him. Like, by the time he got in, I actually just said, and by the way, he got in at, like, 4.30, so, I mean, he's, like, still early.

But point being is, like, when he got in, I was nothing but grateful for the day before, because whether he showed up or not, it gave me an excuse to have to get up, you know? And I think in the night before, when you plan your night and you plan for the snooze button, you know it exists, then you're priming yourself to snooze. But if you take snooze out of the equation and say it's not an option anymore, like, I don't believe in setting a backup alarm, you know, if you, if you, so, I mean, set up, you can, but not for the sake of the snooze button, you know?

I mean, you should, if you want to have, like, separate alarms just to make, you know, guarantee you're going to get up or whatever, but, but like you said today, you got up before your alarm. Yeah. That means you programmed yourself and your mind to wake up, and when you woke up, you were more afraid to go back to sleep. Because you're like, well, if I go back to sleep, and then my alarm goes off, and then I hit snooze again, like, you know, like, I don't even deal with all that, because that's a, that's a question mark.

I'm up, I might as well just get up, you know? And, and, and that's what happens if you, that's what I call packing your bags. If you pack your bags the night before, and you've made the decision, it's amazing what our human bodies are capable of doing. Like, how did you, as tired as you were, a quote, not a morning person is what you were saying. How do you just get up before your alarm?

Like, how does your internal clock just go off like that? It's, it's magical, sort of. It is, yeah. So, it's exciting, you know, you, you, you're faced with a choice, and you make that decision, and then, then here you are. So, all right, good. So, what are the questions you got for me today? Yeah. Um, so, it kind of, well, it was going with masterclass yesterday, kind of talking about the online stuff, and then it also kind of correlates with something in real life that I struggle with.

So, I wrote it down, and basically, I talked about how I took the online method, like, in the beginning, I was, I was kind of not looking at all of the positives of the online method, and I didn't realize all the possibilities that there were, you know, to be able to perform masterclass online. And truthfully, like, I feel like I didn't prepare enough, and I was really disappointed with the scene and the preparation.

Um, and when I was in masterclass before, I felt like I took, like, ten steps forward, and then now I kind of feel like I took five steps back, and then I realized this correlates with my own life, because I took your self-growth workshop, and I've been trying to apply a lot of that stuff, like, doing my daily affirmations, my journals. But I just kind of find myself stuck in this rut, like, I'll make a lot of progress, and then, like, I'll realize, like, oh, I'm doing the same thing again, and I feel like I'm spinning my wheels, even in acting.

Yeah, so this is a really, really good question, and I'm, and I'm super glad that you, you asked it, and I'm, and I'm glad that you're being honest with yourself. So, there's a couple things. Number one, did you take five steps backward? Yeah, you probably did. And, and mainly it's because of the mindset walking into the class. But you also are five, ten, fifteen steps in front of anybody who didn't take the class.

Anybody who decided that just, just, they completely gave up on it, because they thought, well, there's no way this is going to be good, and so they just bailed. So, you're, you're ahead of those people, way ahead of those people, and put yourself in a position to grow, to have a wake-up call, and to now get on it. And so, you have, you have today, and tomorrow morning, to do something about it.

I, I got a text, uh, we came in last night, I didn't see it until this morning. Joey, the reason he wasn't here at the 3.30 mark is he was up really late last night with his scene partner, and they rehearsed six hours. Oh, wow. Six hours straight. And, you either want it, or you don't. And, and they, they want it, you know, they wanted to get better, and they had the same, similar wake-up call to you, um, his scene partner had, and just was like, you know what, like, we, we're, well, we did what we did, now what can we do about it?

You know, that's the question. So, when it comes to the, the growth and development workshop, and how you were on this, like, path, and feeling so good, and doing all these things, um, I'm in the same boat. I was in the exact same place, and then, then this, it's like, poof, get hit with this wave of, like, uncertainty, right? So, what you need to do is start over.

You need new affirmations, you need new goals, you need, you have to adjust, because the world has changed forever. It's not going back. It'll go back some, like, we're not all going to be in lockdown, but, but, things have adjusted. That's just the way it is. So, forever, education will be different. Forever, the acting industry will be different. Forever. This is, this has, just in our business alone, we've progressed two years in two and a half weeks.

That's what happened, because we had to, and, and some businesses did that, and they're going to survive, and some businesses didn't, and they won't, and that's the truth of it. So, I was listening to a, um, a speech that this guy named Simon Sinek was giving to his employees just recently, and he was mentioning that this really isn't that different than a lot of other crises that have come up over time, in that, for instance, when the internet came along, some people jumped on the bandwagon, and some people didn't.

Some people doubled down on their old ways, and some people doubled down on trying to, trying to innovate and become a part of the new. Anybody who didn't, anybody who fought against the internet, and thought, like, this is a fad, they, they went out of business. He mentioned Starbucks. He's like, Starbucks came into a neighborhood, and the coffee shops went out of business. Why? It wasn't because of Starbucks.

It's not Starbucks' fault. It's those, those other companies failed to innovate. They failed to keep up. They kept their old couch that wasn't nice and had cracks in it, and, and there's a better product across the street. They needed to upgrade, and they would have been just fine. In our neighborhood, we've seen this. There's this, uh, little coffee shop called 32 Shea, and, you know, we, we go there a lot.

We like, we like their, their establishment, and we've supported them because they, they came into business shortly after we did in the same neighborhood. So we've, we've kind of always been fans of theirs, and a, a, a bigger company came into, into the neighborhood. It's called Press Coffee. And Press is a big, bigger coffee brand, and people know it, and, and it's really fancy, and, and two stories, and it's like, nice.

And I, and truthfully, I go there. I like Press. Yeah. But what did 32 Shea do? They doubled down on what was unique about them. So they had things that, that Press didn't have. They had a drive-through. So they doubled down on their drive-through, and they said, hey, we're going to, we're going to extend our drive-through hours. We're going to, we're going to focus on the things that we're really good at, that make us new, like, unique.

And they have survived and thrived having a competitor drop in right across the street from them. So, but, but, but having said that, they can't keep doing the same thing and expect to survive. They can't, they can't do the same thing Press is doing, because Press maybe does those things better than them. So they have to figure out what they do really well. So my point is, when, when this all happened to us, inside our walls, my first initial meeting with the team was like, okay, I, this is, this is weird.

But I, I have this feeling that a week from now, we're not going to be working together in the same, in the same room. And this is before we decided to have classes online. And we, we were just so, we were barely ahead of the curve in, in every movement. So we had, we had moved our classes online the day before the, the governor announced, like, you have to, you know.

So we were like, we were like right there on the, on the precedent of everything. But we were, we were aware of things, but not, trying not to be fearful. So we decided we were going to do a giving campaign. That was our whole thing. So I was going to give speeches and talk to healthcare workers and just be like, as giving as we possibly could be.

So we made that choice. And then all of a sudden we're like, okay, we got to double down on our video content. We need to be, we need to get better at online classes. We, we've already been doing them. We already had sort of a program, but now I'm like, we got to reinvent this. Like I, I refuse to put up a product that's going to be the same thing we were doing.

And it's just a zoom link. Like I refuse to do that. We have to, we have to reinvent the genre. And I'm not saying we did it on day one, but I'm saying that we are in the process of doing that. Like no one's doing it the way we're doing it. I promise you. So, so now we're in the middle of this like invention of something brand new.

Well, where'd that come from? I spent two, three days as the CEO of our company, rewriting our mission and vision. Our values didn't change. Our values are the same. Our why that we do this did not change, but some specific things had to change. So for instance, in our original vision statement, we we've always believed in putting out light driven content, but it was something that we were going to do once we had achieved certain milestones.

Well, now all of a sudden it's like that becomes number one priority. So I had to rewrite the vision and go, ah, this, this belongs in the mission. Like we had to now put this in the mission because this is not what we're doing now. This is not what we're going to do in the future. This is our now. And the reason this is important is because I repeat these things every morning.

I repeat them every night. So for me to be repeating something that we're not doing or not planning to do, then, then I'm, I'm not like fully behind what I'm saying. So long story short, what you need to do for yourself personally is go back and start those sheets from scratch. Retake that work. As a matter of fact, I should do a workshop, but let's just put that on the schedule.

Um, I'll do a new personal development workshop. What's that? A new personal development workshop on the calendar. Yeah. Sorry. Yeah. We need to do one. We'll do one online and we'll do one now in this, in the new environment that we're in, because truthfully, even those forms that I handed out to you, we need to recreate them. Yeah. You know? And, and so that would be from our end and from your end, you need to, you need to think about redoing it.

Your, your affirmations are just going to be slightly different where, you know, you have to word it in such a way that it makes sense for the environment you live in. And for the world that we're in right now. And even if things did reverse all the way back, um, there's no, there's no downside to maximizing the, you know, the couple months that we're stuck in quarantine.

Yeah. So that's, that's going to be how you, how you get yourself out of that. Then the next step is take the lesson that you just learned in masterclass and apply it everywhere. And here's the lesson you learned. You didn't put in all the effort because you thought it wasn't going to be the same. And so you're like, Oh, I'll just, I'll just do this. Cause it'd be kind of fun or whatever.

And you, you didn't, you didn't do everything you could. So what you want to do is you want to reframe your mind and say from now on in anything I'm doing, it doesn't matter if it's an online course or it's something else or this or that, whatever it is, I give always 120% of my effort. So rather than thinking about the limitations of whatever it is, I'm going to be thinking about how could I make this something great, something extraordinary.

And it's from that question that the masterclass online has been as magical as it's been so far, because those are the questions I asked myself. And I can tell you, I was just as terrified as you were and just as scared and just as like, how is this going to work? But by asking the right questions and putting in the right amount of work, we started finding some cool answers.

And so I asked, I asked our team, I said, so, so what makes masterclass special? Why is it so magical? And as we started answering different questions, we, we started thinking, well, that's not possible. And I would, and I'd go, well, what if it was possible, then what would that look like? And that's how Joey came up with that answer. Um, we've hardly used it so far, but he, he came up with this thing.

And so this, this is now I have what's called the teacher cam. And so when I want to be able to show you an angle, as a matter of fact, he critiqued me this morning, which I love, but he, he told me when you were doing Danielle's lesson about the computer, he's like, you should have gone teacher cam because it was awkward with the computer and this and that.

And he's like, it would have been very easy for you to teach her right here and show her via, via this device. And I was like, oh, cool. Good idea. But the point being is, is part of masterclasses is when it's appropriate, I jump on my feet and I give, you know, I, I inject some energy into a scene. I can help show the actor exactly what to do.

And, and, and we talked about that being one of the advantages of masterclass that we were not able to do. And then we thought, but, but what if we could, how would we do that? What would it look like? And I'm like, well, I guess I could have a phone, but I don't like, I don't know how that would work. Like, there's no way we can have two different like zoom logins or something like that wouldn't work.

And Joey's like, well, why wouldn't it? I'm like, I don't, why I don't know. So next thing you know, you're asking the right questions, trying to find a good answer and then you get someplace. Yeah, you, I just wanted to say you guys did an amazing job. Like, honestly, like for some reason, I felt more nervous doing it online than actually in class. And it felt so surreal.

And I just, my mind was just like literally about the possibilities of online and like watching the other scenes. I was like, oh my gosh, like that was so good. So you guys did a really good job. Well, thank you. And, and everyone and, and, and all the actors did a great job too, but thank you. We, we, we put a lot of time in and the, the team here deserves a lot of credit because we, we have just, we've always been committed.

You know, I don't, no one knows the behind the scenes over here, but when we put on a regular masterclass in person, we're always working about 16 hour days because our team is in the scenes. They're out of the scenes. They're producing the scenes. They're editing the scenes. They're trying to advertise for you guys and trying to like make everybody feel like a superstar. I mean, it's a, it's a big deal.

And so now having to learn a whole new medium and do all that stuff at the same time, it's, it's a different animal. And, um, and yeah, I agree. I think it felt, it felt very, it was, it was weird after the second one, I would, I went on lunch and I called Shea and I just asked him like, Hey, so, you know, how can I get better?

What were some, some things? And she was mad. It was awesome. She's like, how'd it feel for you? And I was like, it was weird. It felt like a regular masterclass. It's like, it really felt, it felt kind of like the same. And I was surprised that it felt that way. And she's like, yeah, it was so cool. And so I was like, all right, uh, you know, awesome.

So, so yeah, we're just venturing into these waters with you guys. And you know, when I look back on it, I'm going, this, this is, this is really neat. What we've been able to, to do. And I, I think I said this to open up the masterclass that this, I, at first I was about to say, hopefully this is our last one like this. And then I stopped myself and I said, or maybe not, you know, maybe even if we could choose to do it this way, maybe we would sometimes.

And, and then someone, I think someone was like, I hope not. And then I, and I said, but, but think about it. What, what if somebody from another country wants to take the class and they can't fly out here now, now we can actually do it. Yeah. You know, now you could be seen partners with somebody in a completely different country in a completely different time zone.

You could, you know, and, and boom, like all of our limitations are lifted, you know? And I imagine a class now where half the students are in person, half the students are virtual. And you, and you have a in-person slash virtual community and you get to watch the people who are virtual while you're here. And they get to watch you from where they are here at the studio.

Um, so like our minds are expanding too. And we're going, there's a lot of possibilities here. Yeah. It's endless. That that's what I was just thinking about too. And you know, the way that you were saying in masterclass, how you're not only the actor, but what were you saying? You're the director, the producer, you said you're everything. Yeah. Well, specifically the cinematographer. Yeah. So you're, you're, you're the cameraman or camera woman.

And then you're, you're also now I'm realizing the editor. I'm adding that onto my speech because you're all, you're also realizing that what, what we show the audience on our phone is our edit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I thought that was amazing too. So cool. All right, good. Um, what else you got for me, um, um, more so about the online or personally, or no, I know.

I thought you said you had a couple of questions. So, so basically going back to the, um, going back to the masterclass idea, I just want, I want you to take this lesson if nothing else that you, you will never again, not give your absolute 100% best preparation, no matter what. So you'll, you'll ask your question, what if, what, what if I could do this or how do I, how do I give extra effort, you know, because it's harder, you know?

And when you do that, even if it's not great, you'll feel good on the inside when it's done, you're not going to have that regret afterward. And that, that was kind of the same message I was trying to give to Ian too. And I think it's funny cause I was speaking to him, but I think I was speaking to a lot of people when I was saying the, the thing about the prep work, you know, because right afterward, a couple other students were saying, Oh, I want to, I want to be, I want you to talk to me like that.

Like, give me that same message, you know? So there's this idea of, are you doing what, what is enough or are you giving your best? And you just want to demand the best of yourself. Yeah. And sometimes I know, um, Jada, I think she talked about, she feels she's not giving enough on your mornings with Matt. And I can relate to that. Sometimes it's hard to tell, like, I don't know.

I really struggle like, okay, can I give more than that? Oh, I know I can. But then for some reason, sometimes I'm like afraid to go above and beyond, or I don't know my limitations. It's like a really weird thing that I struggle with too. Yeah. I'm sure a lot of people relate to that. Well, and that's, and that's another one of the magical things about masterclass is it's hard.

It's really hard and it demands a lot from you. So even if for just a couple of weeks, a month and a weekend, you, you will be putting out more effort than you normally do. You just have to. And then you have to ask yourself the question, gosh, if I could even just do half this much work on a daily basis, just imagine where I'd be. Yeah.

Yeah, definitely. Wow. I feel like I don't even know what to say. I'm just taking everything in. Yeah. That was so helpful. Cause yeah, the feeling stuck in a rut, I've struggled with that and I'm happy to know I'm not alone too. And I can overcome that. And I'm definitely going to rewrite my affirmations. Cause yeah, I was saying them and I'm like, okay, I feel like I'm just saying them at this point.

So yeah, I need to change it. It's, it's gotta, it's gotta mean something in your heart. Like it really does. I think you would probably remember the example I gave during that workshop, but I had said that one of my affirmations was, I am so happy and grateful now that I'm a bestselling author and public speaker who is paid to travel the world to inspire those who aspire to be great.

Well, the problem was I started getting paid to travel and to coach and to speak. And I was unhappy because I was spending too much time away from my family, too much time away from my team. These are the people that I love that I want to be around. So I was getting a goal that I thought I wanted, but really the way I was getting it, I wasn't happy.

So I changed it. So then I, it was same, same affirmation came out, but then I said, travel the world with my family and my team. You know, so like now it's like, okay, it's a different animal. And, and now if you want to hire me, it costs more because I, I'm bringing these people with me. So, so even if it takes me three, four or five years longer than it would have, I don't mind that because now I'm not setting a goal that's going to make me unhappy.

Or even if I have to travel by myself to get there, I know my eventual goal is to bring the people I love with me because that's what, that's what fulfills me. Gotcha. Um, and one more question on your personal development workshop. When you told us like to write and journal every day, um, like what do you exactly write? Sometimes I struggle what to write about. I'll, I'll just kind of like, I'll sometimes write at the end of the day and I'll just write about what I did today.

Or sometimes I'll think about, okay, what do I need to work on? But what do you write about exactly? I, I know that's kind of a broad question and it's different for everyone. Yeah. So, so first and foremost, something, if you can, I mean, just, just the process of doing that is good. But I, I like to, I like to look back and give, give myself both wins and losses.

So if I can say, if I look back on the day and I say, okay, here, here are the things you did, um, here are the things that you didn't do and should have done or could have done. And then maybe you can go back the day before and you can even look at your journal if you're doing a good job with this and you can say, there's why.

Because of that decision to pick up that piece of ice cream or whatever it is caused you to be feel sluggish, which caused you to do this, which caused you to do that. And you can actually see the pattern and you go, and that's why you didn't get this thing done today. So then, then you don't have to be mad. You just have to adjust. And then you realize, okay, when I make decisions, they matter.

These little decisions add up and cumulatively they become a big deal. One little decision doesn't, doesn't seem like it does that much, but over time it's a big deal. Okay. Thank you. Yeah. I, I never, I don't know why I didn't think of writing the wins and the losses, but that's helpful. Yeah. Just see it as a tracking system for yourself. And so it's like your thoughts on paper, but it's giving yours, it's giving you a, um, sort of like a blueprint for, for, Hey, I feel good today.

Okay. Awesome. Write it out. I feel good. Um, then if you're not feeling good, go back. When was the last day I wrote that? I felt good. What did I do that day? What did I do the day before? What was I doing all week? And you'll notice, you'll probably be like, dang, I was having all these good days in a row. I was waking up at a certain time before my alarm, I was doing this, I was doing that.

And you'll, you'll notice all the stuff you were doing. I was working out like whatever. And, and things you didn't associate with happiness, like nutrition and health and different things. All of a sudden you go, wow. Like that's so connected. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Okay. All right. Well, we've got masterclass here in a couple hours. So we, we probably ought to wrap this thing up. It was great talking to you, Danielle.

Yeah. Thanks, Matt. That was really helpful. I really appreciate your time. No problem. Thanks for being on the show. Thanks for listening to mornings with Matt. Please like subscribe and follow us at Dearing Acting Studio to keep up with the latest content. For more information on classes, private lessons, or professional development coaching, visit www.dearingstudio.com. Have a Dearing day, everyone.