Mind, Body, Spirit: Confidence Starts in the Mind, Stick to the Basics, and Make Somebody Your Hero

This is the Dearing Acting Studio Podcast, where we discuss the connection between life and acting. All right, welcome back, everybody, to the Dearing Acting Studio Podcast. I am Matthew Dearing, here with the whole Guardian crew, Joey, Shea, Bryon. Swinella. Yeah, that's my name, Bryon. Bryon Swinella. What's happening, peeps? Happy Friday, everyone. Happy Friday. So, we threw something up on IG, right, Joey? Instagram. Yeah. Because we've got a guest here today.

Ooh, special guest. And it's a boy, I'm just going to give that away right off the top. All right, all right. It's of the male side of things. And he's cute. He's a cute boy, I'd say, here. Yeah. We had some guesses, right, up on the IG? Yeah, we had a couple of really, really okay guesses, solid guesses. Really, really okay guesses. Really, really decent and adequate.

Well, the reason I say that is there were a couple of people who just submitted their own name. What? I'm serious? Who we think the guests will be. So, that is why it's really, really okay. Gotcha. That's my phone. Hold on a second. Hold on a second. That's his phone on his watch, actually. Hello, my love. You're on speakerphone on the podcast. Oh, goodness. Hi, guys. Hi.

Hello, Leeann. So, we'll have to let you go now, but I love you, and can I call you right afterward? You sure can. You're so cute. I can't play your podcast, but yeah, call me back. All right. Bye, baby. Bye-bye. And that is what we call brownie points, everyone. Well, I'm going to get to that here in a second, actually. But before I do, let's just go ahead and introduce the guest so he can actually talk.

What a cool name this is, Jared Mishlove. Jared, welcome to the podcast. Thank you. Thank you. All right. What is your nationality? Where do you come from? Where do you descend? Because I want to say, Jared, it is Jared Mishlove. Right. Yeah. That is how I want to say your name, is like Russian. I mean, most people want to pronounce it that way, too, but I've never had the urge, but I think I come from Germany.

I think. Oh, Germany. Down, way down the road. Do you have a German accent? I don't. I don't know. No. Try it. No, just go for it anyway. Let's hear it. I'm Mishlove. I am Mishlove. I am Jared Mishlove from Germany. That's Russian. He's doing Russian right now. He's not German. It is okay. We learn. We get there. So Jared is a longtime student and amazing human being.

What's the matter, Rosalyn? Rosalyn looks so upset. I'm making you confusing? Why am I making you confusing? Because it's happening. I don't know if it's happening. Well, we're not talking about anything yet, actually. We're trying to get there. We're getting there. Baby girl, if you listen, hopefully we'll get to something that will make you interested. Does that sound good? All right. Yeah. Good, good, good. Thank you.

Thank you for the input, Rosalyn. So Mr. Mishlove, what a great last name that is. Thank you. Is that something you're proud of? I am proud of it. It's unique. The Mishlove family? The Mishlove family. It's a very unique family. Tell me about your family. Well, I have a twin sister. What? Yeah. You haven't met his twin sister yet? Does she look just like you? She looks pretty much like me.

Believe it or not, she's shorter than me. What? Yeah. Shorter than you? Shorter than me. Shorter than you? Shorter than me. Wow. Easy. I can believe that. And she was a collegiate gymnast, so she went to George Washington. So athletics runs in the family. I think it does. She's actually the reason why I got into, one of the reasons why I got into fitness. Are mom and dad into fitness too?

My mom is a very fitness savvy person, but my dad, not so much. Not so much. My brother is, we all played sports throughout our entire high school career and whatnot, but I'd say that just athletics in general runs through our family. It runs in the blood. So Jared has a brand of personal training called, is it Altered Athletics? Is that right? Altered Athletics, yes. Altered Athletics.

And it's amazing. I love your Instagram videos. You can find Jared at Jared Mishlove on social media. And you're always talking about optimal games. Yeah, it's optimal games, baby. He says it like that. Optimal games. Optimal games. Yeah, that's more like it. I like how Joey said it. He does this thing. Sorry. Brian's like extremely hogging the microphone over here. Bad. So I'm just going to move it a little bit closer to me here.

He does this really cool thing with his videos where he has a partner and she's actually been in our class before. Her name's Rachel and she's just kick butt and she will demonstrate something, doing it the wrong way. And then he'll come in and kind of explain how to do it the correct way and in the video. And it's really, really cool. And he does it. And then he'll say, Joey.

So optimal games. And then he punches the camera like a boss. He walks up at the end of his videos and he punches the camera and it just goes right into the air. Yeah. So we are fans of yours and we believe in optimal games. Talk to us about your mindset when it comes to fitness. Well, my mindset, to be honest, I, uh, well, I started in the gym just because I had super low self-confidence in myself.

That was, you know, there's a much bigger backstory behind that, but, um, what I needed was something that was going to help me, uh, gain confidence. And I found that within the gym, um, you know, you're, you're able to push yourself past limits that you didn't think were, didn't think were possible. And, um, so my mindset is, it is the place to alter your mind and then through altering your mind to help to, you know, allow yourself to believe that you are capable of doing things you weren't capable of doing.

That is where the true transformation of the body happens. That's where you can alter your body. Well, and can I speak into this? Cause I did a session with you and, uh, for days, my legs hurt like days, but what's crazy? You did a whole session? Yeah. I did a whole session with him and the crazy part was like, it was all like really simple stuff. So it actually reminded me of how we hit foundations and really hammering in on that.

Like when I was done, I was like, really? Like, that's what we're doing? Like, I didn't feel like we did that much. It didn't hurt that much. And then like literally for three days, I was like, what the freak? Like I couldn't get out of a chair. I couldn't do anything. And I was like, we didn't even do that much like hard stuff. It didn't feel like it that day anyway.

And it was just like a lot of foundation stuff. Yeah. That's, that's very cool. Yeah. Go ahead. Stick to the basics. That's the, that's what I hammer with my clients right now. And what I just tell people in general is you see all this, you know, this foo-foo stuff on, on Instagram and social media nowadays that you need to go crazy in the gym, do these wild exercises.

But if you just stick to the basics and progress from there and constantly get stronger, you'll see the results that you want. And you don't need to be doing any, anything, anything wild. And just as you just said, Brian, you, we did the simple stuff and it was, it was effective for days. And it's very much about the consistency as well. Probably when you're, when you're using that method is like, okay, if I consistently use the basic basics, I might be doing exercises that don't seem as hard or seem as taxing, but it's that like you build on what you did yesterday every single time you're going in.

So you're actually becoming stronger by doing like easier work. And when, and when you become stronger, technically Joey, you're getting what? Optimal gains. Come on, man. Hit it, hit it. Yeah. Optimal gains. The truth is I wasn't confident in my answer in that moment. It's always going to be optimal gains for the entire rest of the podcast. Okay. All right. So speaking of optimal gains, I cut off Shea here a second ago.

Cause I just wanted Joey to say optimal gains out loud. You were talking about Rachel and the videos. Yeah. Um, I know. Are they connecting to you as a female? I'm just curious when you watch these videos, like, is it, does it do something for you? Because I'm only saying this because Jared has, he doesn't mean to, but he's got a hundred percent female clients. Oh yeah.

Like they're drawn to him and his philosophy. So I'm curious, like when you watch the videos, what, what, what it does for you? It's funny because this girl, not, not only is she stunning, um, but she's like, I hate to use the word like body goals, but she just is, she's, and you can tell that she works really, really hard on what she does and that she's put in the work.

And what's so cool is, so we have a lot of our, um, a couple of our students that train with Jared, um, which has been so cool to watch, watch them, you know, come to the studio and then they'll be like, Oh, I'm going to go have a session with Jared at 10 PM. It's, it's so cool. And he puts it on social media. And, um, what I've noticed is, yeah, it, it is basic, a lot of female clients and, um, and you, you're able to highlight them in such a nice way and make them look so strong, you know, and everything that you do with them is, is it, you can just see the light in their eyes cause they're working on themselves.

Um, so as a female, it's really cool to see that and watch and, you know, cause we live in this generation where everybody's at the gym with their phones, right? And they want to make sure that everybody sees them doing, um, something and, but you show the hard stuff and you show them struggling and you show them getting through it. And the reality of it is that it's hard, it's really hard work and it's not just all the selfie that you take with the 700 pound weight next to you.

That's just not realistic. Yeah. And I would say that's one of the coolest parts about your social media is actually you lift people up through your social media. Like that's your business, but you, you tag them and you, you throw what they're working on. Like you've done success stories. You do your online clients, like you'll post text messages and that's so cool cause you're lifting them up through you, through your company.

And that's like really, really, speaking of that company, in case you missed it earlier, it is altered athletics. You can find Jared at, at Jared Mishlove on social media. So Jared, um, talk to us really quick about how, like, why'd you come here? What was your draw to the studio and, and how has it impacted your work that you're, that you're doing over at the gym? Yeah.

So I was actually, I traveled for about a year last year and I, uh, created YouTube videos and I was doing, uh, going from country to country and kind of showing people through YouTube how fitness varies from country to country. Um, and I, I was doing vlogs. So I realized as I was wrapping up my trip that I really enjoyed being on camera and, um, I was like, you know, I'm just going to start some acting classes when I get back to, uh, when I get back to the States.

So I hit up one of my buddies who was doing acting out here for a while and I said, what's one of the, what's a studio to go to? And he said, uh, all my friends have gone to Dearing and they said, they love it. And I was like, all right, cool. So I called Shea, got signed up, bam. And then I came in and it was just so crazy because on the first day that I came here, hold up.

Cause I'm going to ask Jared for something in a minute. I'm going to, I'm going to request something from you, but first I'd like to give something to you. All right. So this is going to be a voiceover lesson. I'm going to adjust your microphone really quick. Okay. This is pretty cool. All right. Now sit closer. So you can't be afraid of this thing. If you notice where, how, where my mouth is, look at me real quick.

Yeah. When I look at you or Joey, there's like a rotation right here because the sound is coming right here. So when I go like this and I talk over here, it doesn't have the same sound quality. So keep your face, your, your lips right on this. Okay. And then just use your eyes to look over at me. Okay. So you'd have to lean that way. Oh, there you go.

And, and just live in this spot. Like this is going to be where you live for the remainder of the podcast. Okay. This is your little voiceover podcast lesson for today. Perfect. All right, good. So, and because we don't have the sound effect, I'm going to go ahead and just. Thank you, Joey. All right. So, so we're, we're, we're back to, you've, uh, you found the studio.

You're here. Yes. Uh, a couple of friends recommended it, which we're very grateful for. And now, now what? So then when I was traveling, man, you hear that? His voice sounds so good. It is good. Oh, it's delicious. It's when I was traveling, I was in Asia and, um, Asia for me was, you know, it was one of those places that I, I, I, I thoroughly enjoyed because of the connection that you have with people.

Um, you know, the, the Asian culture in general, they appreciate human connection more than any other country that I've been to. And I love that so much. And one of my biggest worries was that when I got back to the States, I would feel disconnected from people because I had experienced that kind of connection. Um, so yeah, when I first got back, it was a little hard.

And then, but what was interesting was right when I walked into the studio, I just remember the first feeling that I got was the feeling that I got when I was in Asia. And it was, yeah, it was so, it was crazy. Was it, was it actual people giving you the feeling or was it literally a, like an energy? It was an energy. Really? It wasn't the people.

It was, at first it was the energy. Um, I just remember I walked into the door and I was like, Whoa. I think you'll probably understand that I, I actually am excited about that information. I would prefer it because that means the space is growing beyond us, which is what our hope is. You know, we wanted to live on beyond ourselves. So that's very cool. And that's what, that's exactly what I experienced now.

Every time that I come into doing it, it wasn't a one-time thing, you know? Um, and you know, so then I went through, I went through my first class and just from there I was hooked to there. Like there was, there was no chance that I wasn't going to come back after that. Well, and, and with everything you've said about the mind being the starting point for the body, we believe in the exact same thing.

The mind being the starting point for all of your life and you have to believe it up here before anything's going to come true. I mean, you really have to see it, believe it almost like you can touch it and taste it. And then you have to walk into the work. So, um, did you like, did you resonate right away with the way that we teach and whatnot?

And is that something you've been able to take in like 10 acts over at your place? Oh yeah, for sure. Well, and that's, you know, one, one question and one thing that I've just been thinking a lot about recently is I look at how Brian teaches and I look at how Shea teaches and I look at how you teach. Sorry, Joe, I haven't experienced your teaching yet, so I don't know, but I, um, you know, I am constantly analyzing how you guys teach and figuring out how I can implement those principles into my training with my clients.

Um, because I just envy it so much. I leave every single class here feeling like I learned something new, whether we be sitting in the chairs the entire time, just listening or being up on the stage doing something. There has certainly been a carryover and I resonate a lot with how you guys go about teaching here. Awesome. Yeah. Awesome. I appreciate that. Of course. Um, all right.

So it's now it's time for my ask. I, we gave it a little give now. I'd like to get a little, get a little something back. So, all right. It was better this time. It was. It was good. No, it was good. So, uh, so we're all actors and there's a few actors listening in and there's, there's also people that are just looking to better themselves period.

And those are the people we're really after. Um, what I, I want free information. I believe when you give away free information, it comes back to you. So I'd like you to give us some free information. What it, let's just say I'm not working out right now. What do I do at my house? Like what, what do I start with? Cause I believe in this idea of 15 minutes.

If you can just commit to 15 minutes on something every day and never miss, then eventually the 15 turns into 20. You start getting excited about the thing. Get the momentum. So, yeah. So some days might be going to the gym. Some days might be this, but what's the, what's the thing I do every day? If I'm a, if I'm just wanting to better myself, become a better actor, fine tune this instrument, like what would you recommend?

Do you have like a, yeah, a series of exercises you can just go like, here's, here's a start here. Yeah. Well, I think the top three, you know, you always got to start with body weight, you know, especially if you're a person that's never been inside the gym before, just wake up, try to do as many pushups as you can. Um, you know, whether that, if you need to drop to the knees and and modify the, modify the exercise, do some pushups on the knees, hit some sit-ups and hit some squats.

Because if you can hit all three of those body weight movements right there, that is a perfect place to start to be able to progress yourself when you are ready to go inside a gym. Cool. So, so if you do, if you did pushups, sit-ups and squats, would that, that would help balance that out? I don't think that would help balance that out. Um, I think, you know, it's, that's, that's where it gets a little bit tricky because, you know, in order to, to balance your chest out, you need to be hitting back, you need back exercises.

So throwing some dips on a chair. Dips would be more so like for the, for the triceps or, or for the chest too. See, I don't know anything. Yeah. I love learning by the way. It's like so exciting. Yeah. And it, well, that's what's, that's what's tricky is it's hard to find exercises to do for the back, um, inside of a, inside of a house, you know, unless it was like pull-ups or something like that.

Um, yeah, you gotta hit, he looked. What do you mean? Because I stole his pull-up bar. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Of course. Uh-huh. I did, I did do that. Yeah. I stole his pull-up bar. So. Well, I gotta say, Brian actually, he, he is impressive when he, when he puts his mind to it. You know, you're, you're much like me where you're going to be kind of on and off at times.

Exactly. But when Brian's on, he does these pushups. He's like throwing himself off the ground and doing the whole thing. And I mean, he, he works when he's ready to work. So it's a matter of, I think for us, dude, it's going to be about consistency. Yeah. You're totally right. A hundred percent. And when you, when the consistency stops, it's so hard to get back on the track.

Yeah. So hard to get back on the track. That's why we did this thing over, uh, the holiday where we didn't want people to fall off on their, on, on all their stuff. And we fell a little bit. We felt it. We all talked about it, but not as, not as bad as we did the year before. So the idea is that like the concept we talked about is move your floor up.

And so our thought was, Hey, treat yourself this, this winter to stay in class. So you don't, so you don't go backwards two months. And then, and then it takes us six months to get you back where you are now. Yeah. I love that. I loved what you guys did with that. I thought that was, I thought that was so awesome. And it's a great way just to get more people into the, into the studio as well.

Totally. And we only want people that are like-minded and, and, and, and so if it's a friend of yours, like, Hey, we're going to give them a shot, you know, for sure. Absolutely. Unless they come to a comedy show and they're like too loud. Yeah. I'm just kidding. We love that. That's a shot. Shots fired. Mic drop. So, um, so I had a couple of things I did want to talk about today, um, beyond, beyond our working out.

So thank you for that lesson. I really appreciate that. Um, I want to talk about this idea and I, it is really connected to what you just said, because if, if I wanted to change my body, I just decided I wanted to look a certain way in a t-shirt, right? And I've always talked about that with myself. It's like, Hey man, you've got these great, you've got this awesome skillset.

Um, but you don't look the best in a t-shirt. Some other guy looks the best in a t-shirt and then he doesn't have the skillset. So if he gained your skillset, he'd be done. And if you gained his body, you'd be, you know, you'd be set. Um, so I like this idea of, you got to see it first. You got to, you got to kind of believe in this thing in your mind before you go start to attack it.

Right. And I call this manifesting. I mean, you've probably heard a lot about this with the secret and stuff. So this idea of manifesting, well, Joey is what I call a master manifester. My wife is the same way. She's a master manifester. She doesn't realize that she just now, like literally just now is starting to figure it out and decide that she's okay with it. But I mean, there was a time when we, she wanted to move into a new house and I was like, no, babe, it's impossible.

We don't have the money. We don't have this. We don't have that. And she's like, I'm telling you, like, it's, what's right. And I'm like, no. And so she put it down for two years, but she just, she never let it go. And it almost bothered me a little bit, but she just, she always saw this sort of dream house of hers. And finally I'm like, babe, okay.

If all of these things line up, all of them will get the house. Well, there was like 12 things. Like I laid it out so that, so I thought it was impossible and it was like, oh dang, I guess we're getting a new house. And then we did that. So, so anyway, long story short, she loves, loves, loves, loves Disneyland. And, uh, so she, you know, we, we've already gone too many times in my opinion, since we've had kids and, uh, and so she wants to go again and she's like, babe, Disney world.

And I'm like, nah, like we, if we're going to go on a vacation, let's go someplace we haven't been, you know, someplace new, uh, the beach. Hello, Rosalyn. Thank you for filming. Appreciate that. Uh, and you're going to be in the story here in a second, babe. Yes. Yes. My love. Look, this can light up. I know. It's beautiful phone you got there. Um, so, so anyway, she keeps focusing on Disney world and I'm like, no, like, why are we going to do that thing?

And so she's focusing on it, focusing on it. I'm like, no, no, no. She lands this gig for, uh, who is this? This is the, um, city moms blog. Yeah. But they're, it's like this, this huge, uh, organization and they're having them out in, uh, um, in Florida and she gets hired to go do this job out there. They give her four day hopper tickets for her entire family and hotel to go to Disney world.

All I have to do is pay for my plane ticket. That's it. And I'm like, of course, like I can't turn that. I can't say no to that. Yeah. She manifested it like out of nowhere. And it's just like that type of, that type of magic is so true. It's just this thing. Like when you hold this idea in your mind, it's going to happen if you believe it and you're like, you already know what's going to happen.

It's already a done deal. Like it's going to happen. Yeah. You know what I think it starts with? What's that? Being positive and optimistic. Yeah. I think there's people, you know, cause like, even if you don't, you know, use manifestation and visualization techniques, I think if you stay positive and just focus on being optimistic, even that is a starting point for, for true manifestation because people who are pessimistic, really good things never typically happen.

Yeah. Yeah, totally. So actually, and I want to correct myself there. It's the city moms collective is what they've been hired to go out there. And it's this massive, like unbelievably awesome group. of, of moms and women who, who, who write on the internet and spread basically love and help businesses out. And so they get to go and be the emcees of this big thing. They even get to do this, this like performance at Disney world.

So my wife, she's literally living her dreams right now, waiting for us to show up. She cannot wait for us to get there. I mean, it's just like crazy. She's out there right now. She's out there right now. Okay. So anyway, so long story short, I'm talking to my wife on the phone the other day and I was, I was mentioning that I had a fail day.

So my first day at home while she was gone and she, and she said, Matt, the women of the world need to hear this. So maybe you should say something about it. So I'm like, yeah, I'm happy to do this. So I had a, I had my first fail day. So I'm, I'm home alone with the kids for the first day and it's going to be four days in a row.

Just me and my, and my older two. And, uh, and we wake up and I just, I don't know, there was something in me that just kind of shut off and I wanted to have fun with them. So we ate like junk and we watched movies and we were tired all day and it was just, it was like a gross day. And, and I went to bed just feeling really sort of sad and bad about it.

And then the next day I slept in, which I never do. But one thing definitely leads to the other. I mean, a hundred percent. And I, and I shook myself out of it. And what I, what I, and when I told my wife, she goes, oh, I guess you appreciate what I do at home. Right. Even more. And I was like, no, babe, I've, I always appreciated what you do at home.

What I appreciate now at a deeper level is what you don't do at home. Because for me, it was so much harder to be disciplined when I'm in my house and I have all my luxuries there and I, and like Netflix is easier to get to. And, you know, like it's, for me it was much easier to be lazy and the, and the decision to say no to those things was much, much harder.

And that I respected her for at a whole nother level because it's like, it's so easy to think you're going to go 10 minutes and then just bail. That's really cool. I just, I just think that's awesome. And thinking about, and that goes into the whole interesting conversation of, of stay at home moms and how, and working moms and working parents and working dads and stay at home dads and how unbelievable it is to be a warrior for your kids and make sure that you are presenting the best possible things that you can within, within your safe place at home and outside of that as well.

And, and I just think it's awesome that you guys can act as, as partners because you typically are here. So, so much of the time and, and providing, um, all for us and for your family as well. But, but a lot of your time is spent here at the office and, um, just being home with them and, and recognizing that is, is really cool and bringing, bringing that to light.

Yeah. And, and, and, and that's the cool thing is when you bring it to light, when you just say it out loud and you, and you ask for help and you essentially say, Hey, here's my thing. Then you get it. And the very next day, these two guys kicked me in the butt, which I, which I thank them for every day. We have this accountability thing that we do in the morning and, um, and it like, that was amazing.

And I'd already made the decision like the night before I, I told myself, dude, you failed. Like, this is a massive fail. And I wasn't easy on myself. I was hard on myself. I believe in that. I believe you need to use harsh language. You got to be very honest. You don't hurt yourself, but you'd be honest and then move forward. So the hard thing is, is when you're like honest, but then you dwell in it, then you can make it worse.

But if you're honest and so you go, Hey, low point. Get up, move, do, then all of a sudden everything changes for you. Right. Um, so yeah, I mean, that's, that's what happened, but it was, uh, it was a very, it's a very cool experience to get to sit in her shoes for, for four days and, and do what she does and realize that, wow, she does it at a really high level.

Yeah. Yeah. I, I, I have a couple moms that I train and they, and, and, you know, we talk a lot about just what their days look like. And I think like you just said, it, it just comes back down to self-discipline being, you know, cause they have, they have their priority at home to look over their kid. Um, they can't just sit down and watch Netflix all day.

Right. Um, so it's just a job. Absolutely. And you know, it's interesting. So me, me talking about this stuff, um, this leads me to the next thing I wanted to say, cause I was home and had this really cool experience. Um, everything I teach, it's hard sometimes. So when I mentioned to somebody, Hey, you failed, just say you failed. Yeah. Bring it to light, move forward. It's very hard.

A lot of times for people to take that and they want to sit on it and they want to hold onto it and they want to fight me on it. And it makes it worse before it gets better instead of just release. So everything I teach usually is just, it's not always, it's always to make your life easier. And oftentimes it's actually, I, I tell these guys around here cause they, they work with us together.

We're all, we're all on one team. But a lot of the things I'm teaching are things that are going to cost me money down the line. They're going to cost me time. Yeah. So, um, so I'm like, Hey, I'm teaching you to be better at your job so that I'm forced to pay you more. That's what I'm trying to teach you how to do. I'm not trying to give you a raise for no reason.

I'm trying to, I'm trying to better you in here so that I have to pay you more because there's 300 companies begging to grab you from our company. Yeah. That's what, so I'm like literally trying to, I'm training all the actors here to basically leave and go be successful and not need me anymore. Like that's, that's what I'm trying to do. Right. So that, that drives me to better myself, to realize that if I want to still have value for these people, I got to be better than I was last year or you guys are out of here.

Yeah. You know, that's the purpose too, though, is to just continuously build people up. And if they leave, then you've done your job. Correct. You've done your job. Or they leave for whatever reason and they're going to come back when it's right for them and right for us. Yeah. You know, when we've, when we've met each other at the right place. Or they're going to bring you someone else that's going to go down the same journey that they went down.

Absolutely. And I believe that idea of releasing people. So let me ask you guys this. So I know I've been talking a lot, so I'll take a breath here. When, when, when we talk about if you want to, if you want to get like time off or you, or you need to go do something, what's the language I say that, that we want to, we want to use in order to, in order to make sure it's going to be successful.

One second, honey. You want to make somebody else your hero. Make somebody else your hero. Yeah. I always say that. I'm like, instead of saying, Hey, I'm taking off tomorrow or Hey, I got to go do this. Ask, even though I'm going to say like, everyone's going to say yes. Anyway, what harm is it to make somebody your hero? Well, anyway, so I've been teaching my kids this concept and, and my daughter, she got it.

She figured it out. And it's, it's crazy. Cause I can, same thing I'm telling you guys, when I teach you how to do this stuff, it makes me like, I'm helpless against it. Just, just like anybody would be. So there'll be times when I'm like, Rosalyn, go do this. Rosalyn, it's time to go do this. Rosalyn's time to do this. She, she's, she now has learned to look at me and go, Hey daddy, would you be my hero and help me put on my shoes and socks?

And I'm like melted. And what am I, what are you going to say to that? Like, of course the answer is of course. Yes. You know? And when she used to go like, I need help. Like, sorry. I want to help you. You can do it yourself. Yeah. Yeah. Oh no, I get that all the time too. That happened when we were at the cabin and it was, it was so innocent and sweet.

And it was, I asked Rosalyn to pick something up off the ground and it was a sock or something, a toy of hers. And we were cleaning up and I said, Hey Ros, um, would you please pick that up off the ground and take it to your room? And she said, um, Ms. Shea, um, no, thank you. I would not like to do that. And, uh, and, and Matt heard and Matt said, Rosalyn, pick, pick it up off the ground, you know, but, but she was just being honest.

She was, no, I don't, I don't want to pick up the sock off the ground, Ms. Shea, but she was so kind about it that I just, I was like, fine, all good. Like I'll pick up the sock off the ground, Queen Rosalyn. I'll do whatever. Well, no, but then you realize about if you look at it and go, how do I actually need to word this?

Because if I word it in a certain, in a certain way that gives an option and the kid's honest, like, what are you going to do? Yeah. And you know, you're thinking about, Hey, if I would have said, Hey, would you, would you do me a favor? And would you pick this up off the ground or, or Hey, it would be really helpful to your mom and dad, if we did this, you know, um, could, could you do that?

But instead I was like, Hey, we, will you do this? And she goes, I'm good. You know, of course, of course. And I had to learn that in teaching. I remember when I first started teaching the kids and Brian, you, you taught me, you said, Shea, um, you can't give them the option to say no. And cause I would do that. I'd be like, Hey, okay. Um, uh, you know, let's, let's do this now.

Sound good. And they're like, well, can we play, can we play a game instead, you know, or whatever it may be. And I'm like, no, we can't do that. But, but to them, you know, I'm giving them an option and, but it's, it doesn't, it's, it's not going back to, I'm, I'm the adult and you're the kid. It's let me explain to you no matter how old you are, what the, why is behind it?

What's the reasoning? How is it going to make you better? And how is it going to help somebody else? And then all of a sudden it turns in, you know, it's not a, it's not a have to, it's a get to, which is something that we're talked to, you know, we talk about all the time. I find that I find it, uh, you know, difficult, not difficult, but at times as I'm going in the business, finding that, you know, that dichotomy and leadership of, you know, being, uh, two on them, you know, micromanaging, but also, um, not micromanaging, you know, and, but, but then like you just said, Shea, giving, when you tell someone to do something and not giving them an option, but then also explaining the why behind it makes it so much easier for a person to want to actually do the thing that you're asking them to do.

I think that's crucial when teaching someone how to do something. And I, and I believe so firmly in not asking anyone to do something that you wouldn't do yourself and haven't already done yourself. Absolutely. Unless you highlight those things and you say, Hey, I'm weak in this area. I don't know how to do this. I've never done this and I don't know how to do it. I think you might be able to be the one that could.

Is there any chance that you, you give this a shot for me, right? Shea is so good at that. She does that all the time with the tech stuff for me. She'll call me and she'll be like, Joey, come down from the bay and I'll be like, yeah, Shea. And she'd be like, I really don't understand this. Can you, can you take a look at this for me?

And every time I'm like, well, no matter what I was doing before I can no longer focus on that because like, obviously I'm going to help her out. Cause that's such a great way to word something to where I'm like, okay, A, I'm the hero now B, she asked me so kindly and C, probably whatever I was doing, I can put on the back burner and help somebody out to push them forward for the day.

And it also selfishly, which I, in a, in a good way being selfish, I want to, I want to learn how to do it. Yeah. And so I can do it myself the next time, but I know I can't. So, and it's going to waste my time and our time as, as a staff, if I try to figure it out when I know the person next to me can do it.

So if I ask him kindly, not only does it get me what I want, it gets the job done. Um, but it, it, um, lifts him up and it's able to help me with a new skill that I didn't have before. Well, and, and being competent in, in a lot of things is good just to understand how things work is good, but you don't want to try to be a master of all because you can't, you can't be a master of all.

So that, and that's, and that's one thing we've had to let go of is this idea of how do I delegate to somebody who, and, and I really sincerely in my heart, I, I shouldn't be teaching you the thing unless sincerely I want you to be better than me at it. So you shouldn't be teaching me a workout unless deep down inside you actually want me to be better than you at that workout.

Agreed. Now, will it take me 10 years, 20 years and, and 10 X effort to do it? Yeah. Well, I probably never do it probably, but, but inside your heart, you got to go, dude, I want this for you so bad for you to be better than me. I don't care about me. I want you to be better than me. Yeah. I think 100% whenever, you know, like you want to see that people do the exact same things that you've done because you want them to experience the feelings that you have felt.

Um, and I think of what, where a lot of teachers and, you know, whatever you may be a teacher at what comes in the way is just ego, you know, people, people don't want, aren't, aren't willing to drop the ego. And that goes back to what we talked about before with teaching, teaching someone to do something that you've never done. Well, you know, and if I can just brag on you for a second, that's one of the, that's one of the amazing things about the people who have been drawn here recently, as we've made our shift, we are, we are attracting people like yourself.

So you come in here and what happens to you, you get humbled. You walk in and it's like, Hey, these are things I don't know. And I'm trying my best and I do this thing and then I just get smacked, you know, and I see it on your face. You're like, Oh, again, but then you come back for the next hit and you come back for the next hit and you were getting better and better systematically.

But, but going back to your videos, when I watch those videos, I see you in your element and you're like so free and so funny. And, and, you know, um, clearly, clearly really good at what you do. And, and I, I believe so wholeheartedly that everybody should get out of their comfort zone and go do something that makes them uncomfortable knowing that it's going to better themselves back at their bread and butter, you know, 100%.

And you, when you do something that makes you feel uncomfortable, you leave with that sense of, um, you know, you, you just feel stronger, you feel stronger and you know that you've made progress on yourself in that day when you're willing to step out your comfort zone. And if you're going to make progress, you might as well, Joey, make optimal games. Can I share a quick Jared story?

Yes. So Jared called me when this was a couple of weeks ago or months ago before Christmas. And, um, it was a Saturday night. I was sitting on my couch and it was late. It was like 10. And, um, and if anybody knows me, you know that I answer my cell phone and answer my emails at all, all hours of the day, any, any time I possibly can, I do get, get your, get your, uh, your claps ready, Joey, because I, I no longer answer my phone on the freeway.

Yeah. So that's good. Even though it's connected to my Bluetooth, I do not answer client calls when I'm on the highway anymore. But, um, so I'm sitting there and Jared hits me up on my personal Instagram and Hey, you know, do you have a second to talk? Sure. So I was like, call me. Um, so he calls my cell phone and, and it's funny cause a lot of students have my cell phone number and, um, they'll call the studio first.

And then if they, if that doesn't happen, you know, happen, they'll call my cell phone and answer. And he goes, Hey, you know, I'm working on this monologue and I'm really having trouble with it. Do you have a couple of minutes to go over it with me? Saturday night at 10 o'clock. And I was like, of course, you know, and it was so cool. Cause I'm like, man, like that's what he's doing on a Saturday night is, um, calling his coach to, to get, to get some advice on, on a monologue he couldn't, he couldn't connect with.

And it was such a cool moment, you know, and I got off the phone and my, my husband was like, who's that? And I was like, Oh, it's Jared from the studio. He's working on a monologue. And he was on Saturday night, 10 PM. I was like, yeah, that's what he's doing. And, and, you know, Jared's always been that all in student right from the very beginning.

And he wanted to take every class and he wanted to, um, get as much information as possible, constantly asking us questions and like, that's what we want from students. And we, we are more than willing to give our time, um, for free to, to sit there and make you better because you're putting in the work. And we do like to charge also for that. And we do, but, but Shea, let me brag on you now, because I, I am so anti, I want everyone to hear this out loud.

I'm not the one telling Shea to answer her phone and emails at all hours of the day. I'm not. We had a fight. We had a fight about this. We did. We did. I don't believe in it. One second, Rosalyn. I'm almost done with this podcast. You're so beautiful, darling. Um, one second, baby. I just said one second. Thank you. Um, and so, so I, I just don't believe in that, but here's what happened.

This is the truth is you just did exactly what I just talked about. You, you, you sent an Instagram message that may or may not get to her. Yep. Then you said, is there any way, you know, you just asked, you, you set her up to be your hero and then Shea, that's why you belong here. That's why you're a guardian because you said yes to the call.

You said, yeah, 10 PM. I can be someone's hero. Heck yeah. Like, let me stand up and do that thing. And that to me is, it's just an amazing story all the way around, but that's why he got the result he got, you know, and we can't overlook what you did, which was to say yes, to pick up the phone and encourage somebody to keep digging deep on at 10 PM on a Saturday night.

100%. Yeah. And the cool part also about that for me is I know your schedule wise, like that's on Saturday, I believe you work and then work. And then like, that would be about the time that you even would have an option. And so a lot of people would just go to bed, you know, and same with you. A lot of people just go to bed and I asked 10 o'clock and, and to go like, no, this is the time that I have.

I got to make it happen. And I'm going to serve no matter what in this time. Like that goes into what Matt teaches about. Like, it doesn't matter what time it is or where the time, like you just got to make it happen, like make things happen. And for both of you, that's so cool that both of you did that. So. And he did that and he, and he dug in late at night, 10 PM.

He was taking all the classes and he still is doing that. And I would say that, that Jared has been getting Joey optimal gains. All right. That's our podcast, everybody. Thank you so much for tuning in. We've got with us Jared Mishlove. Yes. Jared Mishlove. The one and only Jared Mishlove from Altered Athletics. Altered Athletics, that is his brand. And you can find him at, at Jared Mishlove, all over social media.

And you got to check out these videos, man. They're so much fun. So much fun. Have a doing day, everyone.