The Traffic Stop: An Improvised Radio Play With a Motorcycle, a Police Umbrella and a Dog Named Annie

Here we go, I'm rolling, we are doing improv, what's going down? Boom! Hello! Improv. Is so cool. Welcome everybody to the Dearing Acting Studio Improv Podcast. I am Matthew Dearing here with Jason Jackson and Brian Sweeney. So we were talking before the show and Brian has no idea how to start an improv show. No clue whatsoever. Yeah, so. Here's the issue though. Don't you run an improv troupe?

Oh yeah, totally, 100%. And you have no idea how to start a show. Actually, I would agree with that based on that trust you, I love you thing. Yeah, yeah. I mean, that was just me just stabbing it. It goes right after him. Taking a stab at it. Let's all just stand in front of an audience at a live show and say, I trust you, I love you.

Yeah, right. And hug and make eye contact. Again, I don't know how to start a show. So I was like, this is a great way to spread love and start a connection thing. And just be weird. It's just a great way to make an audience feel awkward. Yeah. No, no, it's not. Improv is not just weird. Oh, well, man, I am learning so much this morning. It's not even weird.

All right. That is the name of our show. Improv is not just weird. We're going to go with that. Okay. That is our suggestion. Improv is not just weird. Isn't this cool, man? I don't think you're responsible enough to handle this kind of horsepower. Relax, bro. This is why I bought the car. You want to live on the edge. I appreciate you slowing down. I, uh… I'm slowing down to speed up, Terry.

Let's go. Woo, woo, woo, woo, woo. Oh, no. Terry, look what you did. I did? Yeah, you did. Okay? Just relax. Breathe. Don't worry. I do this all the time. Hello, gentlemen. Hello. Hello, officer. You got a license and registration? I got both those things. Pull them out. I got to see them. Okay. They're prepared and ready. There you go. I'm going to take this back to my vehicle.

I'll be right back. I'll be here in this vehicle. Don't… I don't need to hear a response. I'm just telling you what I'm going to be doing. Oh, okay. I was just also letting you know that… At this point is when you stop talking, okay? While I'm in your presence. Because I'm going to now go back with your license and registration. I'm going to check some things out in my vehicle.

And I'll be here in this vehicle. I need you to not talk after I'm done talking, okay? So I'm done talking. And at this point, stop talking. When you're done talking. Sir, sir, step off the vehicle. I need you to step off the motorcycle, sir. Jonathan, why do you always got to give people a hard time? Sir, step off the… God. Step off the motorcycle, sir. I'm stepping off the motorcycle.

I am off the motorcycle. How do you two know each other? What's going on here? Well, Terry and I, we went to college together. And I just bought this sweet motorcycle. I gave him a call and said, yo, Terry, check this out. Drive a little fast there. Yeah, it's a motorcycle. It was making… I've been hearing complaints. There was calls in the station. About loud noise and a lot of drive-bys at night.

And I think that this is probably the vehicle they were talking about. Probably, motorcycles are a loud vehicle. Would you agree or disagree? So this is… Yeah, it didn't necessarily have to be us. You know, there's other motorcycles on the road. Hey, Terry, we're not talking to you, bud. You just stay on the motorcycle, okay? You go back in the backseat of the motorcycle where you belong.

Yes, sir. All right. Terry. I'm sorry about Terry. Well, you should be, Jeff. Now, look. I'm going to go back to my vehicle. I'm going to check out your license and your registration. You seem like a pretty… A couple nice… Like a nice couple, all right? So I'm like… Well, hold on. We're not a couple. We're just like… We're buddies from… Like I said, from college. That's what I meant.

You're a couple of buddies. So… Great. You seem like a nice, nice couple. Of buddies. Right? And who… Who ride motorcycles together. Yes. Hand in hand. All right. I'm going to be back in my vehicle. And I'll be right back. What did I tell you when we left, man? You know what they call the backseat? That's why he called us a couple, man. No. That's not why he called us a couple.

He called us a couple because you were being so uncomfortable and so weird that he just assumed that we were a couple. He thinks we're a thing, man. Dude. Great. Now it's raining. Terry, look what you did. Look what you did, Terry. Maybe you'll get bored with us and let us go. Do you… Oh, here he comes. Hey, guys. Starting to come down here, it looks like.

A little bit. Yeah. Yeah. I'm, uh… Actually, right now, I was making fun of them at the time, but I'm now pretty grateful for these police umbrellas they got us. It looks really nice. Yeah. I totally wish I had one of those right now. Yeah, we don't have any spares. They give one per officer, so I've only got the one here. That's great. I'm fine. I got my leather jacket, so I feel totally warm.

Can I put my helmet on? Would you mind? Keep the rain on that? No, Terry. You may not put your helmet on. We're not driving on the road. You can't just put it on. You know what? I just feel like I'd be more comfortable with a helmet on. This is making me uncomfortable. Here, guys, give me your keys, sir. Jeff. I… Are we going to walk home?

Mr. Dunn… No, we're not going to walk home. I just need to look at a few more things on the license and registration. I shall need your keys. Make sure you're not going to take off on this little hot rocket with you and your buddy together. Okay. All right. Fine. I'll just… I'll give you my keys. Fine. Thank you. I'll be back in my car. Can you believe that?

He doesn't even care we're standing in the rain. I don't care, Terry. What I care about is you. And was that the nicest umbrella you've ever seen? Terry, stop talking about the… The umbrella, all right? What? You are making me mad. You are in… Like, honestly, Terry, if you weren't here, I'd already be home right now. Clearly. I'm sorry. You should be. Was it something I said?

Yes. Thump, thump, thump, thump, thump. Hey, Mr. Dunby. Looks like you've got a couple parking tickets outstanding, it turns out. Oh, Jeff never pays his traffic tickets. Would you shut your face? Well, you don't. Mr. Dunby, that's not a nice way to talk to a significant other there. He's always mean to be a officer. Once again, buddy from college. Great. The rain's done. Is he significant to you?

Is he a buddy that's significant? I mean… Hold on. I've got to go back to my vehicle. You know, I didn't even want to go for a ride on a string. Can you excuse me one second, Terry? I'm talking to Mr. Dunby. Sorry, sir. That's okay. Look, I don't… I'm not a bad guy, all right? I just… At this point in time, I'm in one of those situations where the rain stopped.

I'm holding an umbrella. You all know how awkward that is. I need to go back to my vehicle, shake it off. I'll be right back. What do you mean you'd be home already? I'd be home already because clearly, clearly, you're making him mad. I am a wordsmith. I'm doing good cop, bad cop on the cop, man. Didn't you see that? What? That literally makes no sense, Terry.

Literally makes no sense. I was trying to be on his side and then… How about… Great. The dog's coming. Great. Great. He looks mad. Of course he looks mad. He's a police dog, Terry, and he sees your face. Just try not to be an idiot. So can you buy those umbrellas anywhere? Would you shut your face, Terry? No, these are special. The nicest umbrella I've ever seen.

Thank you. We're very proud of their umbrellas. They're government-issued. But I can't find one somewhere? No, no, not unless you've got a badge, a number, and everything. Matter of fact, they tell us if they… Could you sell your umbrella? No, no. I would be in a lot of trouble for that. They say if you lose your umbrella, there's no way to get another one because they actually…

They track my police code when I go to get my umbrella and it's issued to me. And then if ever, let's say I was ever to be off the job, if I were ever retired or something, I have to give the umbrella back. Oh. Yeah, now there's a new thing. You give your badge, your gun, and your umbrella. It's all part of the turn it in process.

So I see you guys met my canine friend here. He's in training, so just so you know, anything he does can't really be held against him because he's not officially a police dog. So right now he's in a bit of training. Can I pet him? No, I wouldn't do that. I mean, at your own peril, sir. You know what, Terry? Go ahead. Just go ahead and pet the dog.

Hey, Dunby, do you think that's a good idea? I think it's a great idea. Why are you trying to bait your friend? Hey, I'm really good with dogs. Check this out. See? What's up, Rover? How are you doing? Ow! Jeez! Well. Ow! You got bit. Ah! I think that might need some stitches. All right. Hey, Annie. Come here, Annie. All right. I'm going to put Annie back in the car.

Guys, I'll be back in a minute. I'm going to bring you your keys, sir, but you're not going to be able to go anywhere. Obviously. We're going to need you to stay here until backup comes. Backup? Right. I'm going to need to bring in a backup. Obviously, I'm going to have to ask what I've done wrong. Well, you haven't been paying your parking tickets. That's first of all.

And second of all, you're speeding. And third of all, you've been a ruckus in this neighborhood for quite a while. And you admitted to being the one who's been a ruckus every single night, which means you've been speeding. So I can technically give you about four or five, maybe six speeding tickets right now. I told him to quit riding that back two days ago. Thank you, Terry.

See, Terry knows what I'm talking about. I'm going to be right back. I'm going to be back in my car. I think he likes us. Terry, I swear. I think I'm going to become a cop, man. Give me a dog and an umbrella. Pull guys over like you, Jeff. You know, at first I didn't want to go for this motorcycle ride, but I've learned a lot on this trip.

Hey, guys. It's really coming down out here. I pulled the umbrella back out. Listen, listen. I got to run, actually. There's a whole other case going on. It's a big one, and I don't want to miss it. So, hey, you guys, good luck with everything. I really got to run. Thank you, officer. You're welcome. That was lucky, wasn't it? I told you that would work. Well. Wait, you told me?

Well, I'm good cop, bad cop. I mean, that's why he left, right? He left because there was clearly a more serious situation, and obviously, obviously, I made it better. It is really pouring down. I mean, he has to say something. Hold on a second. He left with my keys. Wow. I feel like it's just raining harder. Ah! I'm leaving, Terry. I'm leaving. Watch my bike. All right.

I'll wait here for you. Thank you, Terry. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Why? And that is our show, everybody. Thank you so much for listening. This has been the Dearing Acting Studio Improv Podcast. I'm glad I'm not in the rain right now. Yeah. I feel really good to be dry.