College and Time Management: Am I Doing Enough, Counterbalance Instead of Balance, and Whether to Study Acting in College

Welcome to Mornings with Matt, a completely virtual talk show hosted by acting and personal development coach, Matthew Dearing. You can text in questions or chat with Matt as he will give advice about life, acting, or whatever else you can dream up. Presented by the Dearing Acting Studio. So we got some questions this morning. So this is a new little idea that Brian had. I really love it.

He thought, hey, why don't you start going on there every day? segment and check in on what's on your heart and how we can maybe help with what's going on in your life or in acting. So we got today Jada Warner. Hello, Jada. Why don't you jump right into a question here and we'll see what we can do. the idea of doing enough. So I'm someone that constantly kind of second guesses whether I'm doing enough in any aspect.

So like when I was a swimmer, I was always worried that I didn't do enough practice each day or whatever it is. almost, I mean, it's great. But at the same time, it makes me really question like, oh, I have, you know, this hour and now should I be spending all my time doing acting or should I, you know, try to balance it out with other things?

Because I know that I should be doing that. But I just have this constant thought in my head, like I'm not doing enough. I'm not doing enough, no matter how much I do. Sure. And then, so the idea being, being what? So where, where else would you spend your time? Um, I mean, like at night, if my family, you know, we have family dinner and then after dinner, they go watch a movie, they go play games or whatever.

And I want, like, I do that most of the time, but even when I'm doing it, I can't be present because I'm like, oh my gosh, should I be working on my acting? Should I be, you know, studying for school? Like, it's always just this thought in the back of my head, like, is this the right thing to do right now? Or should I just be focusing on other things?

I think I just have trouble doing fun things, if that makes sense. Like what you would consider to be. Sure. You know, I, I think I struggle with some of the same, uh, same problem as you, but let me ask you this. Do you ever, do you ever question yourself and think you're worried about not doing enough with your family? Yeah. Like you're not, I, I'm worried I'm not spending enough time with my family.

Does that concern come up as well? Yes. Okay. So what this is, is it's a real presence issue. You mentioned being present. I learned this term a while back and so I'm going to steal it from, uh, I believe his name is Gary Keller. He wrote a book called the one thing. And the, the concept is rather than trying to strike balance, look for a way to do what's called counterbalance.

So, uh, he questioned the idea of a work-life balance. That was a big corporate term for a while. So the idea being, okay, how much of work and how much of family and trying to balance that out. And the concept is, let me look at what's going on. Let me do the most important thing, hopefully in every area. And sometimes when I need to grow, I need to expand, I need to finish a project, whatever I might have to put in extra time, extra effort in a particular area.

So right now, if you're feeling behind on your acting, you need to put more time there. If, if, if you're feeling like, uh, I, I, whatever it is, you think this is an opportunity. And I, and I believe this is, this is an absolute opportunity for you to level up as an actor, level up in, in all your skills, really. So, so, uh, in a lot of ways, people right now are going to figure out the thing I've been preaching for a long time, which is you have a lot of time.

The lie that we've been telling ourselves for such a long time, this was in the shot and I'm like a perfectionist. I'm like, this so bothers me over here. So, uh, so, so we, we have all this time and we've been lying to ourselves. Saying, I don't have the time to do whatever that thing is. And the truth is you do have the time you have so much time.

all this time? So ideally what you just need to do is be really strict with your schedule. And if you can, if you can do a better job scheduling and time blocking and really commit to that schedule, it will help. Also, what's the number one thing stressing you out? Is it acting? Um, I don't even know if I can say a number one. I just feel like it's so many things, but right now that's probably what I'm trying to do.

Well, let's think about it right now. So right now, what's the number one thing that you feel the most guilty about for not putting enough time into? Yes. Acting. Okay. How much time do you put in every day? Probably two hours. What do you do during that time? Um, well, right now I have an audition coming up on Tuesday for college. So I've been working really hard on my monologues for the audition, just, um, performing them in the, like just working on my monologues, whether that be writing out different character analysis or actually performing them or whatever it is.

Um, and then I have masterclass, so I've been working on memorization for that and character building for that. So those are my two top priorities. Good. And you're spending a legit two hours. Yes. Because a lot of times people say they're spending two hours, but really they're spending more like 45 minutes because of distractions or the dog comes in the room or you, you know, you get a something pulled away in some way.

Are you a hundred percent zoning in for two hours with zero distraction? Yes. I make sure to put my phone away and just focus in on, like, I'll just have like a journal on my table and just be focusing in on that and make sure that it's a time when I know no one's not going to come into my room. No one's going to try to come get me.

Like I'm just focused on that. Good. Then you're killing it. I mean, honestly, you're going to, you're already ahead of most people. If you are legitimately doing that seven days a week, you're ahead of most people. Now I wrote a little book called acting as my day job. And here's the truth. How many people work two hours a day to become a professional at anything? I don't know.

None. Zero. There are zero people that work only two hours on whatever their thing is. But normally, what is it? It's a nine to five. They call it a nine to five job. That's a minimum of eight hours just to be a minimum employee. If you want to be next level, if you want to be at the top of whatever game, then you're actually looking at 12 hours, 13 hour days.

So you want to start inching your work up. So right now, and right now you're doing the things that you have to do. So I have to prepare this monologue for an audition and I have to prepare for masterclass. So you're lucky that you're in masterclass and you're lucky that you have an audition coming up because that's giving you purpose. It's giving you something to do. So those two things are really good and you've put that into your schedule.

What becomes hard, and this is what everyone's struggling with right now, is when I'm not being told what to do. So a lot of people had school was worked out for them. So they woke up and they had to get up at six so that they could be in the car by seven, so that they could be at school by 730. And the university was telling them what time they needed to be there without the university telling them that.

And they're allowed to take the classes online. They're sleeping until 10. They're rolling out of bed. They're feeling a little groggy. And then by the time they finally get to their schoolwork, they're feeling lethargic and not feeling great about themselves. And so, and then there's, and then they're going back to the idea of, I don't have any time. Yeah. So what you need to do is start inching that time up.

You can, you can make acting if it's truly the thing you want to do, you make it your nine to five. So you could be working on your next monologue. You should be, you should be reading new place, trying to find your next masterclass scene. Just, just in, in what way can you grow? Be working on an accent, be working on a Shakespeare monologue, just find whatever it is that's going to challenge you.

Because right now you're saying, Hey, I'm filling these two hours, but I'm feeling like I'm not doing enough. Maybe listen to that because, because what you really want to do is you want to finish dinner and you want to spend time with your family and be all the way there. Because if you're thinking about something else, you're not fully with them. And I, one of my beliefs is that I can be with my family for 15 minutes and it can be much more valuable than two hours.

If I'm there and kind of zoned out and still worrying about other things and checking my email or something, it's, it's not really connected. But if I'm all the way in, I'm fully present, they can feel that and, and it's worth more. So ideally, you know, you get two hours with your family or more time, but that's the idea of counterbalance is I'm going to make sure that when I'm with you, whatever you are, you might be my acting at the time or my health or my family or my friends.

When I'm with you, you're my one thing. You're all that matter to me in the world right now. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Okay. Thank you. You're welcome. What else you got for me? Um, I don't know how many people this question will actually apply to, but I wanted to ask you just because it applies to my life, but, um, I wanted to know your opinions on studying, acting in college, just because it's a very real possibility that I won't get into any college that I applied to.

Like that's, that's a possibility. I don't know. Okay. So I've, I, the answer to this question is going to be the same as what I've always said, because I went through the college experience and I'm grateful for everything I've done in my life because I, it's, it's created who I am, the good and the bad. Um, but without clear direction in college, all college is, is a babysitter.

The same way high school is a babysitter and grade school is a babysitter. It's someone telling you where to go and giving you a plan. If you can make your own plan, you can do it yourself. You really can. So college in general is a, it's great, but, but just under, you have to be smart and understand that, that they are a business also. So they have to give you certain prerequisites and they're going to keep you in, you know, they want to keep you for four years because they make money there.

And, and you got to think to yourself, what do I really want to do? And for certain professions, you need to have, you need to have a degree. For most professions nowadays, you don't. What makes you valuable is you and your work ethic. So I highly, I'm a huge, huge fan of schooling, of education. I'm educating myself every single day. I don't miss trying to learn, trying to grow, finding some way to expand my knowledge because I believe that that's the most valuable thing over money and everything else.

Knowledge is number one. So if I could, if I had the choice to watch a free YouTube video on a particular subject or learn from a world expert in that thing, or learn from somebody who's teaching at Pepperdine or Yale or something, and it's the same thing to me and I can just sit at home and learn through a video, I'm going to choose the, the, the more experienced person.

I'm going to pay for the course and I'm going to, I'm going to learn from somebody and I'm, and hopefully have them hold me accountable. And there's the start time and an end time and all that. I'm going to do that because I know it's good for me. The other, the other places I would probably say college is great for are going to be the things you don't want to do because you need the babysitter.

So maybe you go to college and you learn business. Maybe you learn finances. Maybe you learn accounting. You learn things you're going to need as an actor anyway. I mean, this is, again, it's, I wrote all this in, in acting as my day job, but I really believe that that is a good idea because sometimes it's just, it's helpful to have the person telling you, Hey, show up, get this done, do the next thing.

Because otherwise I know me. And in this particular subject that I'm not super passionate about, I'm going to learn just enough and then kind of stop. So I really want somebody, I'm going to go ahead and pay for somebody to push me to the next level. A great example of this is, um, this other book that I'm writing, the best listener in the room. I finished it.

I went back to edit the beginning of it and I was just so depressed at what a bad writer I was when I started writing. It was really sad. And, and so it was, it was hard to go back and edit. And I was finding myself fighting the urge to quit. And that's actually how I ended up writing the other book was just pausing on, on this one and sticking to my habit.

But I just, you know, I was struggling with that. So what did I do? I went out and I, I researched and found the best editor I could find and that I could find. So this is a woman that's out of Canada and I hired her and I, I paid a big chunk of money, like eight grand. And really she's an accountability partner. That's all she is.

She's not writing the book. She's just telling me, Hey, this is not good. Adjust this. Here's some ideas. Here's a, you know, here's a better type outline, but I got to do all the work. I mean, really? So, so her job is just go through and check my grammar and make sure that, you know, this or this is not good or it's falling into a certain formula, but I hired her and it was worth every penny because now I'm $8,000 invested in making sure that every day I'm still working on that book.

And so it, it would stings a little bit more for me, uh, to quit. So that, that really is my belief on school. That is the value of school. The, the other idea too, and, and this is just very true. Um, we have some students who have gone to USC and, and some other just well-known schools and the other value to going to an institution are the relationships.

So surrounding yourself with the right people and people who are excelling is going to help you. And sometimes a university setting or a school setting will help you do that because, because they're, they're already there and they're, they're like-minded. And so you can team up with those people and if they become your friends or colleagues in the future, then that's something that's going to help you. Yeah.

Thank you. So what are you going to do? I'm going to see where I get in first and then try to go from there. See, there you go. And, and you know what, you know what is great about that answer, Jada, is stop worrying about it. Yeah. You know, take, chunk this one off your list and then come back to me and let's talk again if, and when you know which school you get into or don't get into.

Because at the end of the day, you're right. Like there's a chance you don't get into one of these schools. Well, one of these schools of your top three, but you can get into a college. So if college is, is the real question, then we're not even having this discussion because you can get into a college. Am I right? Yes. So the, so the real question is, should I go to college if I can't go to the one that I really want to go to?

And that's a question to ask yourself. And then you got to go, well, why do I want to be at that one so badly? What is it about that college that if I didn't get in, I just wouldn't want to go to college? Yeah. And that's a gut check right there. I think she froze up on us here. Can you hear me, Jada? All right, good. So I want to, I'll segue here and just mention that.

Oh, are you back? She's back. Back. All right. So, so what else? You got, you got any more questions? I thought you had maybe one more thing here. I was just going to ask, I feel like we don't talk a lot, but I was just going to ask where you feel God is calling you right now in your life. I just, that's a question I love to ask people.

What a, what an unbelievable question, Jada. And you know what, if I could, um, if I could inspire you a little bit, you sent me an email and I haven't responded yet, right? About sending you a list of questions. No worries. Yeah. But, but, um, but it's interesting because you're trying to find your way right now in the acting world and different things. And potentially you, you might be able to help us or do your own thing, but, but what a great question.

Maybe you're supposed to be an interviewer. It's a form of acting. It's a form of entertainment. You know, I mean, what, so, so where, where are you feeling called? That's a, you know, it's a good question that we should all be asking ourselves every day. And I'm, I'm, I'm very glad you asked because I'm being very strongly pulled in a direction right now. And it's surprising to me.

And I'm, I'm curious if the whole world needs to stop and ask themselves this question. Where am I, where am I being pulled? And if we ask ourselves that question, I mean, that's something to really, you know, hold dear and take seriously. So, um, our vision for our company, um, it, it, it starts with giving and it, and starts with leadership, um, being, being generous. And then we, we, we, we discuss acting, but the, it's all leading toward this thing, which is to create light driven content and distribute it so that we can reach more people with the word of God, and we can reach more people with goodness and love and joy.

You know? Um, so I'm feeling very pulled really to go all in on this. Like, I want to be having conversations like this, helping other people, inspiring people and putting this stuff out there. And I, I have a feeling that God is really strongly pushing us in our studio in this direction. And it's, it's been in there from the beginning where we're going to be making movies.

There are some specific topics that a lot of people don't want to talk about that I'd like to make a movie about and we're planning on doing it and we're going to, we're going to, it's all going to be God-centered and, and really, really good stuff, but, but hard stuff too. I mean, we're going to go after the hard stuff. So, uh, yeah, good question. Thank you for asking.

Thank you for talking with me. Yeah, it was awesome. Uh, all right, Jada, well, thank you so much. You are hopefully set in the right direction. You're going to jump on and start, start working on your acting. Yes. Awesome. I am. All right. And we will see you in masterclass very soon. Yes. See you soon. Have a good day. You too. Thanks for listening to mornings with Matt, please like subscribe and follow us at Dearing Acting Studio to keep up with the latest content.

For more information on classes, private lessons, or professional development coaching, visit www.dearingstudio.com. Have a Dearing day, everyone.