Matthew Dearing

Ecclesiastes 2:24, find enjoyment in your toil, and an hour on a serious subject: play. Why highly successful people grind their way to unfulfilled, why there’s no fear when you’re having fun, the shy kid doing cartwheels in class, my uncle on a bench watching his son play catch with an NFL recruit, and the list I’m making for the times I’m weakest.

Blessed are ye that weep now, for ye shall laugh. Joey and me the day before a Chaos Comedy show: how we teach improv as observation, a student who’s funny but hard to play with, Charlie Chaplin and Dr. Seuss, the day we both forgot to laugh, why funerals are full of laughter, the marriage trick of a code word, and why I take comedy dead seriously.

God does not change his mind, and that’s the model. Brian, Joey and me on why it’s hard to do the little things when nobody’s watching, the path that gets worn into the forest, why the unluckiest thing is the big stage before you’re ready, a local agent’s rule to stay in fighting shape, the recommendation letter I couldn’t wait to write, and why a restaurant called Biscuits and Gravy shouldn’t sell steak.

I slept through my alarm, Joey and Brian called until I woke up, and the day’s topic became the day itself. Ecclesiastes 4:9, iron sharpens iron, why values come before talent when you pick a team, trust over skill every time, what I actually want from a teammate (steel), and the takeaway: radical transparency, because holding back is the selfish move.

Goliath looked at David and saw a kid, and that was his downfall. Joey and I with Dr. Layla Hyshaw, pediatric dentist, author of Cavity Free Kids and the mother of a child actor, on the parent’s half of a kid’s career; then true leaders create leaders, the toddler who thinks picking up the dog poop is an Easter egg hunt, why I sent my eight-year-old onto the roof alone, and the challenge: learn from someone younger this week, and teach someone the difference between a job done and a job well done.

Outwardly we are wearing out, inwardly we are being renewed. Joey and me on what to do with pain: J.K. Rowling on why numbing it makes it worse, Mary Tyler Moore on courage, why you deal with it now and never carry old pain into a new fight, a blind Jedi, Bryant McGill’s three steps, and my eight-year-old doing snow angels in 20-degree weather for $125 and a story he’ll tell forever.

I was on set, so Brian and Joey ran this one on their own, and it’s one of the best hours the show produced. Proverbs 18:2 and 19:20, why hearing isn’t listening, the rubber band on Joey’s wrist during The Lonesome West, the Steven Covey line about listening to reply, why a good teacher throws out the lesson plan, and a teenager named Phil doing heightened listening from behind a curtain.

Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. A guest, Madison Steves, former Miss Arizona, author of Boy on a Swing and founder of the nonprofit Don’t Dis Abilities, on what people assumed about her and what she learned to ask instead. Then Stephen Covey on why we judge ourselves by intentions and others by actions, a live tiff with Joey that became the textbook example, Voltaire, Walt Whitman, and the takeaway: be a soldier for good.

Do not be conformed to this world, but be renewed in your mind. Brian and I on the programs running in your head that you never chose: a seven-year-old who told me he wasn’t smart, a kid on a stack of chairs who only needed the why, Aristotle on entertaining a thought without accepting it, Earl Nightingale on repetition, a computer virus as the picture of a negative thought, and why you can’t run Windows on a Mac.