Letting Go of Pride: What Breaking Character on Stage Taught Us About Ego

This is the Dearing Acting Studio Podcast, where we discuss the connection between life and acting. Alright, welcome back to the Dearing Acting Studio Podcast. My name is Matthew Dearing. I'm here with Mr. Brian Sweeney and Mr. Joseph Sweeney. What's going on, boys? Oh, nothing much, man. Just excited to be here. Yeah, let's go. Joey's fiddling with the old board there. Yeah, just testing a few sentences. Get all figured out.

Yeah. So, we, the three of us, we three, amigos. Trace of us. We three boys. We were in a little show a couple weeks back called The Boondocks. Oh, The Boondocks Show. Some people are still talking about that show. It was an amazing show. Like, so much fun. I did. I had a blast on stage with you guys, and it was, I said this in the beginning of the show.

I made this announcement that we hadn't done our Boondocks Show since the time when you had first gotten out of the hospital. Mm-hmm. So, it had been a minute. It had been a long minute, yeah. Yeah. And it was, it was something really cool to be a part of, because you could feel that energy, and being able to improvise with you two was just such a blessing, because you guys have been at it for so many years, where we ran the rehearsals, and we did that, and we found the trust.

But then, I was literally just able to trust you guys, and be bold and patient, just like we talk about. Yeah, it's interesting. We, we did. We rehearsed a lot, which I know some people who don't understand improv, that feels like an oxymoron to rehearse for an improvised show. But we did, and, and that's because we hadn't done it in so long. I mean, it had been years and years since we had done that particular format, so, yes, we were growing as performers, but we hadn't actually rehearsed our format in quite a while.

Yeah, yeah. And plus, we were adding Joey onto the mix, so that was a whole new energy that we needed to account for, and, and we, I thought we worked through some really good things, actually, which, which ended up coming into the classroom. Right, I was about to say, that was, we, we found a lot of really cool discoveries, and directly applied them to the teaching. I know, for me, I made a lot of discoveries as an actor, about just things that I needed to, that I was doing wrong, just straight up wrong.

One of the big ones was the, when you break in character. Do you remember making that discovery, about, like, when you're in character, and you accidentally break, and you, like, laugh for a second? I literally thought that you're just supposed to use that, and, and apply it to the character, and we discovered you're supposed to just stay in the perspective of that character. Yeah, I mean, if you're fully in character, you don't break, because it's not funny to the character.

Right. It's only funny to the actor. So, in my opinion, you can break a couple times in, like, a series of shows, and, and have it be funny, or cute, or whatever, but that, that funny and cuteness goes away really quick. Yeah. Because the audience wants to believe what you're doing is true, and the second you break, you, you break that reality. So, it's, it's much more interesting to watch a seasoned actor who never breaks, barely break, and you're like, oh, that's, that's so good, versus watching somebody break over, and over, and over, and over again.

Like, it was, honestly, this is a side topic, but you are that way for me. You're very, you know, serious and zoned in, and, and I very rarely, rarely see you break, and when we were, we were making a sketch last night, Matt and I, and, and I said a line, and he broke, and I was like, oh my gosh, it almost made me break, just watching you break, because I've never seen you break.

I know, I couldn't hold it in, just a quick side note, Brian is becoming TikTok famous, that's something we should mention. Yeah, it's, it's not a joke. It's the weirdest thing, but I love it, it's like one of those deals where I'm not surprised, because Brian just recently kind of went all in on his life, and on, and on truly being woke up, and, and then he, he, he kept coming to me with certain things.

I remember Brian being like, hey, I don't know if this is a pride issue, I just want to, like, deal with this, and let's talk about it, and, and we get through things really quickly recently, and I've just noticed you've been giving extraordinarily in a new way without expectation, and this is how it works, where I always say, you're going to get paid back 10x, just probably not the way you thought.

Yeah. So now you're going to get these TikTok endorsements, and everyone's going to want you to be, you know, plugging their stuff on your TikTok. I mean, let me just say this, okay, he's, he's not yet, but he's only put up a couple videos, and his very first one got thousands and thousands of views, and he had no followers or anything, he's just got, he's now walking into who he is in a very real way, and he's using a platform that he understands, and, and the platform seems to respond to, to his message as well.

Yeah, it's pretty cool, I remember, uh, you used to be on Vine, which is a very similar app, and you used to do some really funny stuff on there, but it was a little different in that you weren't in the place that you're in now, and you weren't owning everything, and so people weren't as attracted, but you still had that same, like, niche for it, you had the comedy, you understood the sketch style, and, like, how to use the music to be funny, and so now that you're in this new place, you're able to use that to your advantage, and really do that as something that you enjoy, and get a lot of love back from.

Yeah, absolutely, and it's, it's, uh, completely come from, like, what Matt said, just being able to, to own who I am, completely, and not be ashamed of it, and just own it, and, and hopefully, that through it, we can inspire other people to do the same, and that's what we're trying to do with this place, you know? Yeah, I, I, as you know, my, my life's mission is to help the world become better listeners, and I'm writing a book called The Best Listener in the Room, and in the first chapter, it's about gaining confidence, because you need to earn confidence in order to be a great listener, so that's sort of, like, the beginning of what I'm writing, and I spent some time on a subject this morning, actually, just reminding people that we have the Spirit inside of us, we have, we have God inside of us, he's, he's there with us, and God said, when, when asked who he is, God said, I am that I am, I am who I am, right?

And so, therefore, you are who you are, and if you figure that out, once you decide, oh, okay, I'm gonna own who I am, because who I am is a, is a decision, and who I am is something that is my fault, for good or for bad. These are the choices that I am, and I am where I am, because of me, and once you take accountability for that, then, and only then, do you get the power to create and to manifest a, whatever life you'd like, moving forward.

Yeah. Dang, dude, got mad chills from that. I, I've never heard it said that way, as far as connecting right back to you, being who you are. You know, always heard the I am, I am, from God statement, but that's, wow, that's really powerful. Yeah. Thanks, dude. All right, so back to the boondock show. It was, it was, it was a lot of fun, and we got up there, and, and Joey, I remember you actually were a part of that show.

Yeah, it was. Years and years ago, you were a guest player, and I remember thinking very fondly on our, our old boondock shows, and I went back to watch game tape, as I do. I love watching game tape of myself performing so I can get better. And just being embarrassed by some of the choices that were made, and, and, and listening to some of the voices that were sort of non-specific that I thought could be better.

And that was a big part, too, of, of the, the growth for me and the desire to rehearse and to get better before we went on stage again. Yeah. Yeah, it was cool to watch. I mean, I, I looked like a little scared chipmunk on stage the first time we did it. Like, literally, I just wasn't talking unless you guys threw something at me. Joey, I literally pulled you on the stage.

That was so funny. Yeah, that's what I was about to say. I was standing on the sides, and you grabbed me by the shirt and, like, threw me out of the stage and put me in a seat, and I was just sitting there waiting for something to happen. Yeah. You know, it's interesting. My big, my big realization when we were doing our rehearsals was I was, I found, I found what I think was a positive way to understand and describe some of the things that happen in my brain while I improvise.

And that was the thing that we shared with each other and the exercises we came up with and then what we were able to share with the class. Yeah. Because I've always been doing this thing where I'm like, hey, just so you know, like, I'm setting you up. I'm providing this gift or whatever, and sometimes we get it, sometimes we wouldn't. But once you understand the concept of it, you're like, oh, dang, yeah, you have been doing that for me for a really long time, and I can do that for other people.

Yeah. Yeah, it was really cool, and that plays into the group mind, too. When you have the group mind, it feels like nothing can go wrong, really, because you, like, in our last show, I literally could read your guys' minds. I felt like that. And so we would relax down at the right spots. We would talk on different topics at the same spots, but we were so connected, and it was a deep level of connection that I hadn't felt before on stage.

And I was like, oh, this is what it's supposed to feel like when we do improv. Yeah. Like, it ignited a flame inside me. Well, and if you think about it, because of the rehearsals, we earned the confidence to relax on stage, and from there, we could listen. And when we can listen at that super high level, then it feels easier because it's less effortful. Yeah. Yeah, and I'll tell you, Joey, I was very proud of you in that show, just the way you were able to listen in.

And going back to the rehearsals, we had some serious breakthroughs. I mean, some serious breakthroughs, and you gave a lot of pushback in certain points, and it was when you were willing to release. It's, man, you just took off on stage. I mean, really. Like, I ended up playing the bottom position in the scene, right? And you ended up being, like, beating off of Matt, and it all just, that came straight from confidence.

Yeah. You walked in with this confident character, and we were like, okay, that's who he is. And I was like, boom, I'm the bottom now. Well, and I would love to speak on that, actually, because in our first rehearsal, I was pushing back. I was being defensive. I was trying to hold up with the big dog, so to speak. And that was so wrong. Like, we wasted so many hours where we could have just been putting up scenes and doing things and running crash courses.

And instead, we were arguing over stupid decisions that I was making because I wasn't fully present, I wasn't listening, and I wasn't choosing to humble myself down to you guys, which obviously I should have. I look up to both of you as mentors, as actors, as people. And we would have just gotten, I can't imagine how much better we would have been if I had done that the first time instead of having to come to that the second time around when we rehearsed.

It's so very true, Joseph. And it's a big deal that you're learning that, picking up on it and talking about it, bringing it to the light, because that will change your future. What you're doing is you're solidifying in your mind. You're saying it out loud. You're reminding yourself, hey, that behavior leads to pain. This other behavior leads to success and prosperity. And so as you remind yourself of that, more good will come because you'll keep making the good choices.

Yeah. And thank you both because you both have been a big part in teaching me that. Well, you're welcome. And, you know, we talked about this yesterday in our post-master class meeting. But you, for whatever reason, hadn't seen yourself as a leader yet until yesterday. And you thought that was the day. And I was like, dude, you've been a leader in my mind since we started. And that's the truth.

Like, it didn't matter. You're an intern. You come in here and you intern. And that's anybody. I don't see myself in any kind of a hierarchy. I'm always looking to see what can I learn from everybody and what can I teach at the same time. And so I never think I'm better than anyone. And at the same time, I don't think anyone's better than me. You know, I'm not in that kind of competition.

I just realized, hey, we're different. We're both people. What can we learn from each other? And why have we been brought together? And once you figure that out, since you are figuring that out, you will be a leader also on the improv stage. Not only will you be one, but I need you to be one. I want you to be one so that I can follow you in certain areas and be wrong and be corrected and be happy to be so so that I can get better.

Right? And what you're saying is because you were fighting, we had to just sit there and spend time on things that we shouldn't have had to spend time on. And it didn't give you the opportunity to lead us. And we would have loved to have been led. Yeah. Yeah. A hundred percent. All right. Well, we're going to wrap up here pretty soon. But that boondock show was coming right off of our play, which was a big deal.

Super huge. We got some really big sponsors off of that for Lighthouse Theater. We have some big plans. It's going to be super fun for the theater. And we have our next boondock show coming up along with a chaos show. Is that correct, Brian? You want to talk about that? That is correct. Yeah. So I'm very excited about that. Our boondock show is going to be set up by chaos.

And so they'll be doing a little set. And then we'll go up after that. It's going to be next weekend on the 28th on Saturday at 7 o'clock. And so we're just really excited. We're just going to give you a little form of both. And I want people to come out and just laugh. And it's a huge part of our mission statement is just inspiring people through joy and laughter and connection.

And so hopefully we're able to do that with you guys this next weekend. And so you guys can get tickets at lighthousetheater.org. And we would just love to see you in the audience and experience the night with you. Awesome. Joey, you'll be playing in the chaos show, right? Yes. And Brian and I, we'll be putting up boondocks yet again. Absolutely. All right. Thank you, everybody. Have an awesome day.

All righty. Or should they have a Dearing day? They should have a Dearing day. Dearing day.