Kyle Maynard on Mastery as a Never-Ending Summit, Curiosity, and Dancing in the Phoenix Airport

This is the Dearing Acting Studio Podcast, where we discuss the connection between life and acting. Alright, welcome back everybody to the Dearing Acting Studio Podcast. My name is Matthew Dearing. I am here with Shea Topo, Brian Sweeney, and Mr. Joey Sweeney. What's going on, everybody? Morning! Morning! We are psyched to be here. So psyched. So, for the students who were around recently, they might have noticed that I haven't been around recently.

I've been doing a lot of coaching for this unbelievable company called Nextiva. Yes, they deserve that round of applause. And they had this big event called NextCon. And I don't even want to go into too much detail, because I've got to really get to the point of what I'm getting to. But anyway, I was coaching for their CEO, Tomas Gorny, who's like this brilliant man. And I was therefore backstage at this huge, I mean, this huge event at Talking Stick Arena.

There's just thousands of people. And I'm hanging backstage the morning of the big keynote. And I'm waiting for Thomas to come down there. And I walk in, and I walk smack into this guy, Kyle Maynard, who was like the head keynote speaker. So, I took a deep breath, and I was like, hi, how are you? My name's Matt. And before you know it, we were talking, and we connected.

And I am not even going to go further into this without telling everybody that Kyle and I had a connection. And he has agreed to be on the podcast, and he is with us right now. Kyle, are you there? Matt, I'm here. Dude, you are the man. You are so the man. So awesome, dude. We are so excited to have you here with us. It was such a great moment because Brian and I so graciously took the invitation that we received to go and watch the keynote speaker and a couple of the other speeches at Nexcon.

And Brian had said a couple weeks ago, he was like, I really would love to see Kyle Maynard. I'd really love to see him. And so we went, and we watched, and both of us are on the edge of our seats just leaning over, listening to you. And what was so great is Matt comes out, and me and Brian are just kind of standing to the side, and he goes, do you guys want to meet him?

And we were like bunnies. Like, we just hopped backstage and acted like we knew what we were doing. But then what's funny, Kyle, is you weren't back there then. No. No, no. We stood by the door for a while. Forever. And I was like, you guys better get out because I don't know. We just looked like followers at that point. So then you got to meet him after Thomas' speech.

Yeah. So Kyle, for those people who don't know about Kyle, he wrote a book called No Excuses. Do you want to talk a little, like, just briefly about, you know, your story, Kyle, so that we can then get into some mastery in your mindset where you're at now? Yeah, for sure. I mean, first of all, thank you for sharing that. It's so funny to hear other people's experiences, you know?

Like, usually when I meet people like you guys, like, it's the opposite, right? Like, I feel like, Matt, when we met, for instance, like, you were like a, you know, guardian angel that dropped into my life in the perfect moment to help me, like, get through that speech. Like, I've kind of been going through some difficult transitions lately. And, you know, I think that, like, that, like, helped kind of ground to me and just your advice and your presence and all of the things that you shared right before I did my thing, I think was enormously helpful.

Dude, I talk about that all the time, about listening. So I'm actually staring at the wall in our studio right now. We have this big listen wall. It's just the word listens on there. That's my thing, as I told you. And so part of the listen is listening to spirit. And there was something just vibrating between the two of us. I can't even explain it. It's sort of like we connected.

And then I was like, wow, all right, this is happening. Yeah. No, I think listening is, like, that's probably. I'll tell you, I literally, like, when we met as well, I felt that same, like, energy. It's so crazy because here we have this thing we teach at our studio called Meisner where you're, like, connecting with the other person without words. Just basically staring into each other's eyes and sharing feelings.

And I have never in all my life experienced something where I had just met someone and felt comfortable enough to just continue staring at them and connecting with them. And we did, dude. And it was so cool. Like, literally, I talked about it in my class this week. And it was just an amazing experience getting to connect with you in that way. Thank you, man. I feel like it's like eye-gazing sex or something.

I don't know. It feels good. Yeah, that's exactly what it is. And that's why I got the kissy emoji from you this morning, I think. All right. Okay, so if we don't know about Kyle's story, it's kind of funny. I was trying to describe, you know, you physically. And somebody yelled out, quadriplegic. And I said, no, he's not quadriplegic. And then I was trying to read this off your website.

And I'm quadruple, amputate. And Shea comes over and goes, quadruple? And obviously, you know, Matt is extremely smart. And it was one of those, like, blonde moments that he has. And I can say that because I'm very blonde. And I have them frequently. But it was so cute because he was, like, he was trying so hard to say the word. And I'm like, it's quadruple. Quadruple, though, sounds so much fancier.

Doesn't it? Feel free to coin it. And so, obviously, so you're a quadruple amputee since birth, which we learned about during your keynote, which, you know, obviously, it doesn't make you who you are, which I think is your whole message in general, which is so inspiring and wonderful. But then you climbed to the top of Mount Kilimanjaro and this other mountain that I would prefer not to try to pronounce.

What is it? You're going to make me, aren't you? No, I mean, you can give it a shot. Yeah, it's Mount Akincagua in South America. Akincagua. Akincagua. Yeah. Wow. It's like agua kind of at the end, like water. It's kind of like agua. Akincagua. So then you wrote this book about your life, No Excuses, correct? Yeah, that was written a while before any of the mountain climbs.

Really? Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah. So you were a best-selling author, a New York Times best-selling author, before you went up the mountain? Yeah, the book came out when I was 19. Wrote it when I was 18. Wow. Dang. That's amazing. So what inspired you to write that? Truth be told, it was a paycheck. So what was it like to meet Oprah? Was that crazy? Oprah was, yeah, it was a cool experience.

Were you too young to appreciate how crazy that was? I think so, for sure. You know, sitting on her couch was kind of a surreal moment. But like I preferred people that would be more kind of like off the cuff. Like Oprah, it was amazing. She helped like launch the book and got it out there. And she's done a lot of good in the world. But like Larry King, for instance, like he was my favorite interview that I did because he just looked like straight up not prepared.

Like I had no idea who I was when I showed up. And then Arnold, I'm just reading right off your website, but Arnold Schwarzenegger described you as the real deal. Yeah, right. Ah, the real deal. That was terrible. I thought I would try it. Didn't sit. So talk to us, Kyle, about your mindset when it comes to mastery because that's really what our studio is about and our podcast is all about.

Mastery in what context? I guess life, you know. I mean, so we teach acting, but we believe acting is such a parallel to life. To be a good actor, you know, you have to be truthful. And you have to believe what you're doing. You have to believe in what you're doing. And that's the parallel to life. So, yeah, I mean, how do you – what's your mindset on your day-to-day?

And, you know, I know you said you're – and I could feel, you know, you're going through some stuff. And I think you and I are connected for a specific reason. But you obviously have a mastery mindset of some sort, and I'd love to hear your take. Yeah, you know, it's interesting. Last night I gave a speech to a group of YPOers. So, it's a young president's organization.

And these are, like, business leaders, right? So, they've built businesses. They've done these big things. And, you know, many of them in there have done things that I haven't done, right? So, like, I look at mastery as, like, a never-ending summit, right? I look at that and, like, wow, this is a room full of people that I have so much to go and learn from, that I, you know, like to go and take from.

Like, I've done things for myself, but, like, more in, like, the physical realm. Like, there's other things, like, building of things that I think would be amazing to go and have. And, like, then there's, like, you know, like, just, like, the exploration and mastery of, like, fun and enjoyment and life and love. If you want to hear a crazy story that I've not told publicly, I can share one with you.

Oh, yeah. I would love it. It's, like, breaking news right here. Breaking news. All right. So, in the Phoenix airport, I landed. And my flight, I switched to a later flight and came from Orlando. I actually kind of, like, took a big risk and missed my first flight. Thankfully, kind of, like, you know, stars aligned, universe opened doors, and was able to get to my plane. Like, I got to Phoenix, and, like, instead of going to the talking stick resort, I was, like, you know what?

Like, screw it. I'm just going to sit in the airport and just be here and people watch. And it's super fascinating. And then it got to be, like, midnight, 1 a.m., like, and gradually just, like, you know, people were kind of leaving. And it was just a handful of people that were, you know, hanging out at that point, right? Like, the after midnight airport crowd. It was interesting.

Then I just kept staying. And it was basically just me, and there was another guy who was pretty cool, kind of reminded me of, like, Burt Reynolds a little bit. And it was just the two of us. And, like, I put on my headphones, and I was kind of, like, I was just bored. I just wanted to dance. It was weird. I was bored, but I wasn't bored.

I was, like, feeling it. You know, I felt this, like, desire to just dance. And so I was like, all right, I'm just going to put on my headphones. I'm just going to start dancing. And I do, and I'm dancing. I'm just, like, feeling it in the moment, like, feeling the music. And then I'm seeing these, like, there's a down escalator. And I'm like, all right, I'm just going to go over and try to run up the down escalator and see how far I can get up.

And I got up, like, you know, four or five stairs, and then, like, came back down. And it was just kind of then, like, laid on my back and started dancing. And I saw a Spirit Airlines pole. And I just basically, like, went over and, like, started, like, pole dancing on a pole. Is this a true story? Are you messing with this? This is a true story.

Yeah, this is a fact. Yeah. And so, like, Burt Reynolds was still there and hanging out. And, like, it almost felt like I was, like, dancing like a wild exotic bird for him. And then I hear, like, excuse me, what are you doing? And I'm like, oh, s**t. And I look up, and it's two cops. They probably thought you were on something, I'll bet. Yeah, I was like, I've done it now.

You know, I'm going to jail. They were like, what are you doing? And I said, I'm dancing. And they said, well, like, basically, like, why are you dancing? I don't know. Like, I like dancing. They're like, you can't do that here. It's like, I can't dance in an airport? It's a Phoenix law. No dancing in the airport. Yeah, right. They said, you know, like, are you mentally unstable?

And I said, I don't think so. I feel like I'm. No more than most people, I guess. I don't know. You know, then I told them, I was like, look, I totally, you know, understand. Like, this is, you know. What they said is, they said it's not normal. And I said, very few things, very few things about me are normal. That is an amazing answer. Hold on, hold on.

This is, this is incredible. So these two cops are just like, you're, you're basically going deep into philosophy with these guys. Yeah, it's sort of like an ethical, existential conversation of like, what, you know, like, I mean, is dancing in the airport? Is that a problem? You know, they're two good dudes. And they're in there just like trying to like help, like, keep the peace in Phoenix and shook hands.

It was just a beautiful moment. You know, I was like, I thank them because I realized, you know, like a lot of my best friends are military, you know, former SEALs. A lot of my close friends are cops, you know, SWAT cops and other things like that. Like people that have put themselves, you know, in harm's way to go and help keep the peace. So I have an enormous respect for, for the peacekeepers of the world.

I grew up in a Christian family and spent several years in my 20s, more like atheists. But more, I think in that way, I was kind of angry at God. And, uh, the God that I pray to now is more of like a universal force, universal life force energy that's like pervades throughout everything. That's not, you know, it's all faith and it's beyond the faith. Like it's something that's like, it's like the summit of the mountain, but there's no summit to that mountain.

That's deep, bro. So you brought up a lot of points. I want to kind of like tailor back for our, our particular audience here. There's, there's an exercise I've talked about that I did when I used to live in New York, um, that revolved around people watching. And I, I believe in that as an actor for us to go out there and just observe the world and, and see what we can see and learn.

And so, so that, that story alone, and then you being by yourself, just choosing not to go to the hotel, but just to kind of be by yourself yet around people at the same time is a very interesting concept to me. Um, and then connecting you to this great company that we both got the, the chance to work for who, who believes in the, the power of human connections is, is, is their, their new vision.

And they, you know, and the conference was to grow fearlessly. And I look at this idea of, you know, dancing in an airport. It's, it's sort of like the cliche poster dance as if nobody's watching you. Um, yeah. And, and, and, and that's another acting exercise that I tell people they have to go through because you, you have to be completely fearless and be willing to let go in public.

Cause that's really what acting is at the end of the day is you being you fully you in front of a camera or on a stage, uh, in front of an audience that, that in an essence is the definition of acting. Um, you, you, you add to that, the, the element of imagined circumstances and you bringing those imagined circumstances to life. And, and I mean, really that's acting in a nutshell right there.

So you were actually doing some high level acting exercises. Oh, all right. Thanks, man. That's cool. I never, I never really thought about it that way, but like, you know, in a sense, it kind of is. The other thing that's really cool about like the idea of just doing that dancing is with my students. I'll have them do similar things like literally go sit in an elevator when everyone's going up and down and just sit there like things that obviously make you uncomfortable.

But what's interesting about the dancing is I notice it a lot in our, when we make students dance here and do that in front of everybody, everybody wants to do that. You know, right. Everybody wants to have the freedom to just not care. And I feel like, you know, it's, it can be so inspirating and liberating for someone to just get to watch somebody else do that.

And so I even wonder, you know, those guys, they, they talked with you and, and ask questions because again, that's their job. But I, I bet anything they went home and then they started thinking about the way that you did that and, and their lives and, and how they interact and allow themselves to, to do things. And so it's just, that's just crazy to me, like how we can inspire people by just being willing to, to go on spirit.

Like you did, you know, your gut tells you to do something and you go, yeah. You know, when, when Matt descended, you know, like a guardian angel to help like recenter me in the middle of that beach, it was, it was a beautiful moment. And I'm like, it was just super grateful for, for him having been there when he was to help give me those like pointers of just like, you know, kind of centering and grounding my energy to be able to go.

Like give that presentation. Yeah. I remember saying to you on your way out, I just said, you know, uh, I'm going to be there for you. I'll be sitting front and center and I'll just be listening, laughing, crying, and just loving you. Whatever you need is what I, is what I'm going to try to try to give you is my, my full attention. I'm just going to listen 100%.

I felt that, like, I felt your, your heart and presence there. I was like, wow, it was probably the thing that like got me through this, like that talk and like a cogent way. So the other thing, and I keep driving this back to acting, but we, you know, that's, that's the base of our followers here. So I like to, I like to, um, try to do that the best I can.

The other thing I think we can learn from this as artists is another concept again, that we, that we teach and we, we, we find so powerful. Um, you know, you mentioned kind of your faith journey and where you're at right now. Um, I personally come from a, a Catholic background and I'm, I would be, uh, consider myself Christian right now. Uh, or just not right now, I just, I am, but, um, but, but the idea of curiosity and I, I, I just find that to be so important in life and in everything.

And I get, I get frustrated by people who say they know when there's a, an absolute, like I absolutely know this thing to be fact, no matter what. And it drives me nuts. And I go, you know, you, the best way to approach any problem is from, I don't know if you can start from there, then you may be right, but it's not about you being right.

Um, and you know, when it comes to religion, faith, um, preparing for a role in acting, um, even just having a conversation. The best place to start is, I don't know, you know, you, you are very allowed to have an opinion a hundred percent and I can respect you for having an opinion, but to just state it as an absolute to me is, is, is then ignorant, you know?

So, so I, I don't, I don't mind, you know, people having different opinions. I mean, that's what makes this country great. But the idea of just saying, I absolutely know, because whatever I'm going, eh, but do you? We actually call each other on that in our office all the time in the studio. And Joey just called me on it for something yesterday. And it's funny because I remember when Matt had introduced that to us and he was like, Hey, you know, you should never talk in absolutes.

I think it was to me in a weird sense of irony. Yeah. Yeah. And, and it was so cool because it, it relieves so much pressure coming from this. I don't know place. And it relieves so much pressure when you, when you lose this indirect, um, arrogance, I'd say exactly. That's the word arrogance that we have as human beings that either is indirect or, or direct at times where we, we get so comfortable in the things that we know or that we think we know and that we want to be right about.

And, and, and being able to be gifted with this idea that it, it's actually so much more freeing and so much stronger to come from this place of, um, I don't know the answer, but here's what I do know. And I hope I can pass this on to you. Or here's what I think I know. Or here's, yeah, here's, here's my take. Yeah. Or here's my take.

Here's my opinion on it. And this is what I've learned and hopefully it can help you. And maybe you can help me with the things that you think, you know, you know. And it, and it ties directly into curiosity. I mean, cause, cause for me, I, I was that Christian and Matt knows this, you know, it was just like, everything was so absolute for me. And a lot of it came from just not really being curious, not really looking into things more and being open or wanting it.

Yeah. And so it's just a lot of power in that again, in, in all areas of life to just be willing to walk in and be curious always. And that's what we pursue here is just the constant pursuit of knowledge and just always growing. And like, that's, that's our meter here. Like we look at our students and go, did you grow today? Are you better today than you were yesterday?

Yeah. And yeah. Yeah. You know, I had this wonderful experience actually with a few different speakers, but one of them being the CEO of Nextiva is his name's Thomas Gourney. And like I said before, he, he's a brilliant man. Um, and, and just before the speech, some things had changed last minute and it was, there was like a bit of tension in the room and, and he's like, Hey, come here.

We're just going to go through our, the speech real quick. And I said, okay. And then, and I know that he's of Jewish faith and he knows I'm of Christian faith. And, and I just stopped and said, you know, I think we should pray first. And he, he kind of looked at me for a second and then he said, okay. And then we sat down and I just said a prayer and it was, it wasn't, you know, anything other than dear God, we, we know why Thomas is here.

We know his vision and what he's hoping to get, to get across into the world. Just help him do that. Cause that's really all that matters above anything, you know, cause this company is, is out there to make a dent in the world, to help people connect. I mean, that's a very, very powerful mission that, that goes well beyond any kind of a speech or performance and, uh, you know, and it grounded us.

And then, and then later that day, his wife, who's, who's a wonderful person too, she came up to me and, and she was thanking me and whatnot. And, and, uh, she said, she said, she introduced me to their rabbi and she said, Oh, have you met, you know, uh, a rabbi? And I said, no. And she said, he's a wonderful speaker and she knows I'm a speaker, a speaking coach.

So she has, you should come see him and he, he's super embarrassed. He's like, Oh no, no, no, no. And, but I want to, like, why wouldn't, why would I not want to go? I mean, hello. Like, of course, like a, thank you for inviting me. And B I'm curious. I want to, I want to hear this man speak. Like, why wouldn't I not want to do that?

You know, literally just a couple of minutes ago, I met, um, my buddy, new friend, a lot of bucks, L O T T underscore B U S. And, you know, he's, he's a rapper trying to make it, you know, work like, um, just like super freaking, um, you know, loving heart. And, you know, just, I don't know, like amazing, like amazing, you know, spirit. And like, there's a lot of, uh, these people that have come across that, like the world needs to know.

And I want to feel like my mission is to like go out and like, like find them and to like help people reconnect to that, like sense of like spirit. And these are the conversations that I live for. Yeah. And, and, and by being closed minded, you would, you would lose out on those conversations because people, people are going to find their way, you know? And, and my, my, my, my wish and my dream is that, that whoever's right at the end of the day would get a last chance.

You know, you knock on heaven's door and then, and then it's, it's revealed. Like, this is actually the thing. And I'd be like, Oh, cool. I'm in, you know, uh, yes. And I tried my best, you know, but if we, if we can just approach each other from love, I think that's the key. I'll wrap it up here. I just want to say thank you for you guys to have this conversation.

Thank you to be able to like, for what you're doing and teaching of the acting. I think it's something I definitely want to like come in and like experience that, take some acting lessons myself. All right, ladies and gentlemen, if you want to learn more about Kyle Maynard, you can go to kylemaynard.com. You can also visit him on his Instagram. He's pretty accurate, uh, pretty, um, what am I trying to say?

Active. Active. Thank you. See, that's my Joey right there. That's my Joey. He's pretty active on IG. It's his name. So it's at Kyle Maynard, uh, on Instagram and you can follow him there. And if anybody's interested in having Kyle speak, I can tell you that he did have us all laughing, uh, completely connected and crying in the audience. He has not skipped a beat since he started writing when he was 18.

So, uh, 17. So, so give him a, give him a ring. It was a, it was a lot of fun. Thank you so much, Kyle, for being on the show. Thank you, Kyle. Thanks bro. Thank you guys.