Don’t Judge a Book by Its Cover: The Lord Looks at the Heart, Judge as You Wish to Be Judged, and Be Curious, Not Judgmental

But the TV is playing. Ha ha ha! Woo! Yeah, Joey! This is Mornings with Matt, the Dearing Acting Studio Podcast. Where we discuss the connection between life and acting. I like it. It is. This is facts. This is facts. This is, uh… Alright, good morning, everybody. Welcome to Mornings with Matt on the Dearing Acting Studio Podcast. So excited to have you today. We've got an unbelievable guest today.

Madison Steves. Yeah! Woo! The tricky last name. Which she said is, like, she has to do it all the time. She's like, I just wanted to change it. Well, that's why, you know, that's why you always ask. That's why you gotta, you gotta know. Because if you, if you look at it, it could come across as Estevez. Right. Yeah. And I think of Emilio Estevez. You know?

Great actor. In some, in a, in very cool movies. Uh, but no, we've got, uh, we've got Madison Steves here today. And, uh, she's an author. Mm-hmm. A young entrepreneur. And, uh, a woman out there who is, uh, doing some good in the world. So, can't wait to get to, to her in our first segment today. Which is entitled, Don't Dis Abilities. Whoa! What a good title.

She came up with it. I know. I got, I got nothing there. Alright, but, uh, before we get there, Bri Guy, we're gonna start off with our daily devotional. Woo! Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep! Alright, our first Bible verse is from 1 Samuel 16, 7. Oops. Ah. There you go. The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.

Mm. Mm-hmm. Mm. So, we probably want to just start trying to be more like the Lord. Mm-hmm. In that way. Yeah. You know? Start looking at people's hearts, not the way they look. Yeah. And, you know, it's interesting, um, it, it really goes both ways, too. Because, uh, we're gonna be talking a lot about don't judge a book by its cover. That is the title of today's episode.

and and to to look deeper and and what i mean by it goes both ways is sometimes um a person or thing that has a beautiful stereotypical exterior can be riddled with evil and sometimes some somebody who on an outward appearance uh would be stereotypically not good looking can be the most beautiful person or thing you know yeah i've got examples it's like i don't even want to go there because like it's evil you know yeah but i'll do it ted bundy ted bundy is like like a like a really good looking dude yeah yeah i mean not that i'm like the expert on good looking dudes but that's what that's what people say uh it turns out pretty bad dude yeah 100 you know like really bad guy yeah you know um so we just and and today you know when we say don't judge a book by its cover we're really gonna be um just condemning the idea of judgment in general which uh which i think is important so you got anything to add here on this bible verse brian or you just kind of you just kind of floating no i feel like i mean that's the basics of the idea of just not judging people of like like for anybody like we all we can't help it right thoughts come to your mind certain thoughts and it's about like overpowering those thoughts and i'm sure we'll get into some of that when we get into a section but like sure it's it's the idea of like it might even come in your mind for a second like a thought about somebody and you're gonna have to we've talked about programming the other day retrain your brain to not do that retrain your brain yeah it's gotta be a new episode hey joey what about you man what do you what do you guys to say about this what do i got to say about this let's see hmm can you read it one more time yeah the lord does not look at the things man looks at man looks at the outward appearance but the lord looks at the heart the man the man the man looks at the outward appearance sometimes the man looks at but the it's a ceiling yeah whatever looking for an answer there's a second verse too we could yeah we could go okay so i i i'll i'll jump on here a little bit i'll do one more thing um the other thing it makes me think of is is not only us judging um each other but what about ourselves too i think this is a great reminder that i could put on a fancy shirt i can have the perfect hairstyle hmm oh i can i could brush my hair just so perfect just you know just so perfect brian i could put my hair back you know what i mean yeah uh but but god god doesn't see that god god god sees what's underneath and you can't hide the truth from god underneath a nice t-shirt you know yeah because he knows he knows he knows you've been sleeping you've been awake yeah you guys are being quiet and awkward today all right uh brian let's go to uh bible verse number two all right luke 6 37 judge not and you will not be judged condemn not and you will not be condemned forgive and you will be forgiven cool and so i don't want to be judging you guys for being awkward this morning you know and so i would like to you know ask for forgiveness you're forgiven done father son no but this is i mean this is straight up um one of those sort of obvious verses but something that that we really need to stop and make sure that we're paying attention to always and i had this um i had several conversations yesterday yesterday was an emotionally draining day for me until my wife came in and she helped out with the casting guy coming up and gave me some alone time with my kids i got to fill up my bucket i came back in last night and i and i just like crushed i worked an extra like five hours last night and um just felt really really good but but there's this um this idea of like when when i was talking to everybody that there there's i've mentioned it but it feels like there's a spiritual battle going on you know um and it's i think it's always there but right now it just feels like it's it's very present and and and one person in particular shared some very specific things about themselves and and i could tell based on a follow-up text that this person was was potentially concerned about my thoughts on their personal stuff and i just wrote back i was like i i mean it when i say i don't judge i really don't you know we look for forgiveness of course but i don't i i i know that i'm such a flawed man i will i will never be the first one to stand in front of the crowd and pick up a stone and throw it at you yeah that it won't be me right because because everybody everybody has some kind of a history some kind of a story uh where they came from and and if you don't give people the benefit of the doubt um like how do you want to be treated right i love that the he who is without sin throw the first stone moment is like one of my favorites because you know you sit there and and sometimes again we want to condemn or want to do something but you remember like hello like think of all the things you've done wrong and it's like wouldn't you want mercy on you wouldn't you want that for yourself you know um and so it's something that we need to do something that we have to just be aware of um and and start getting better at as as a entire group of people like we have to get better at at loving people right where they are loving people and immediately just loving them where they are for real joey what is the uh what does the ceiling have to say to you right now anything i don't know let me check anything good can you read it again judge not and you will not be judged condemn not and you will not be condemned forgive and you will be forgiven not not yes it's a no no yes forgiveness is key yeah that's what the ceiling said forgiveness is key forgiveness is key this is your big add-on here yeah it's it's right on the air takes it and just puts it into a smaller phrase forgiveness is key i really like that like a small little yeah it's like a compactor you know you just take the big big information and you smush it down you smush it down well you we talked about this yesterday joey actually if you remember we had a we had a little you know tiff a little i thought you were gonna use the word tiff i'm like is he gonna say the word tiff he's gonna say well joey used it yesterday so i just kept copying joey it's a tip little little lovers battle um because we love each other and and i was telling him you know just a reminder of if it this is this is my point of view anyway i i feel like when when something's awkward right away and and you're involved it you can make the choice to just come in and go hey so i don't know it seems like things are weird um so sorry if i offended you um anything i can do but but just as soon as i come in with i'm sorry start there assume it's partly your fault just just assume that um and and then find your way to truth and and it says right here forgiven you will be forgiven it's what it's it's one of the reasons that i i open with that all the time i i try to acknowledge when i'm being tense i try to find where it's coming from really i try to admit to somebody where it came from and then ask for forgiveness and be like hey just so you know it wasn't about you they did you know and and i understand i was uh you know harsh or whatever this or that um so then then you know and then truthfully my my probably my um weakness then is because i i do that quite a bit when other people don't do it then i get frustrated because i'm like it's so easy why don't you just do it yeah so then i was like okay well you got more work to do pal you got more work to do buddy bud i was trying to find there's a lot of staring at me today i feel like you're a little nervous because we got a guest on are you nervous brian because she's like a big deal no but she is a big deal i know i feel i feel like the nerves are kind of welling up the are brian's cheeks getting red joey so many nerves zoom in on the cheek i think so many nerves can you see them can you see the all right here we go um so being a good person uh you want to be able to look for the good in others you want to choose um to look for the good you can you can always find something good in somebody if you really want to you'll find the good everybody has good inside of them and so um if if you decide to look for that thing and focus on that thing you can lift somebody up and you can you can help take them out of any kind of negative state but if you focus on what's negative um yeah you're gonna end up receiving negative back onto you i believe that to be true i think i think that uh that we and we've the good like what good have you done let's focus on that let's talk about that um what else i want to talk about here um oh yeah yeah yeah so then then then lastly before i sort of outline the show here is um just not to be deceived by appearances because it's it's so easy to become deceived by by the appearance of something or the lack of appearance of something and um and and and if we're not careful we put our stake in people we we put our faith in people and um that's a huge mistake because you're always going to be disappointed always you know yeah people are people they're they're imperfect so all right we got a great show today uh first off in our first segment we are going to be talking to Madison Steves who's uh who's here she's going to be here right after the commercial break and then we're going to jump into segment number two which is judge as you wish to be judged and then we're going to end off with our quick takeaway which is going to be choose to make a difference so uh joey we do do we have uh madison on there can we have her wave at everybody uh yeah i totally forgot about that chapter four brand yourself chapter five be a producer chapter six run the business chapter seven be a great actor you come in where you'll do some creative move and then the next person will go in and they'll be like when they get to direction they'll be like yeah uh what if you just did what he just did yeah well you know you do it enough like you just you just yeah there's yeah yeah thank you i appreciate it i'll try to explain i don't want you to think about getting through the monologue yes let's go process we are back hey ladies and gentlemen we are back here we are so excited to have on the show miss Madison Steves brian can you go ahead and give me a little uh um a little bio on madison boom so uh madison is awesome i've known madison for a while she started a foundation um called don't dis abilities you've known madison for a while how do you know each other uh way back when when uh we did like miss arizona i think was where like first time miss arizona she was like one of like way back when yeah and so like just in the whole mix i think was the first interaction um and then uh after that we just like kept connecting and then i obviously had deep passion for disability stuff and and miss america stuff yeah like like like like way back when guys i've got i've got a deep passion for disabilities and beautiful you know pageant girls yeah so that was like yeah yeah but uh but yeah so she started that foundation don't disabilities which is just this awesome uh nonprofit that's basically bringing light to that to the idea of what we're talking about today to not judging a book by its cover and and i've seen she hosts events for the disability community you know you mentioned her a long time ago to me now that i'm now that i'm remembering yeah yeah i i didn't put two and two together till now that's that's very cool we were going to do something uh and it didn't end up working out because like just honestly i didn't get all the planning that needed to happen but we were going to do like a more i know we should you have the sound effects why i don't think i have that i don't think i have that one you do i do i'm pretty sure it's not anymore it don't matter it's gone now joe oh did you say steak so she's very active is my point in the disability community uh she's been a spokesmodel she runs charity events um and sometimes just goes and attends different events and she's been doing that for like she goes to events that's amazing yeah i know it's really really good to go to events but all right i think that's a that's a great intro good job brian i'm gonna give you a round of applause thank you thank you ladies and gentlemen Madison Steves hello madison hey how are you guys happy to be alive how are you doing same here i am uh in fact related to emilio estevez just had to you are related are you related very very cool he's uh yeah i've heard that one all of my life oh sure i'm sure so uh so you're an author i want to talk about that you you did you write you've written a couple books now right just one so i have a children's book called boy on a swing and it is about the first person i met in sixth grade who had a disability and i was just running around the playground and he was sitting by himself on a swing and i felt bad and i didn't know why someone would be all alone on the playground so i went and ran up to him and then brought all my friends over and we all started swinging and became friends so i made a book about it to help kids understand what it means to be accepting and you and you go to other schools and talk about that too right you like read the book yep so i go into schools and we i sit down with them and we read the book and we talk about bullies we talk about acceptance and then i kind of give them an opportunity to raise their hand and tell their story whether it's i'm being bullied by this person or i did this to include that person and that gives the teacher kind of an opportunity to hear what's going on because sometimes these kids are too nervous to go tell their parents or tell their teacher what's really going on in school or on the playground so it's really stopped everything but i love it sure do you have the do you have that book with you um i don't oh let me see i think so my clean room everywhere oh i do okay so here's this is my book how cool super cute little pictures and illustrations and then it comes with an activity book so it's just i can be a friend when this and i can say sorry when this and that's so neat so so um who did the illustrations for you her name is jennifer novak landers and she actually put the whole book together for me so i just i jumped right into it and i kind of let her do everything i was like here's what i want take it away yeah wow that's wonderful so um so so what's that feel like to be an author it's really exciting sometimes i kind of forget how i tell people and they're like wait you have a book i'm like yeah you know it's kind of no big deal i don't know why i i'm very proud of myself of course but to me it was just another way to get into schools and to reach more people and then every book purchase goes to the non-profit so it's another form of raising funds to go and then our next thing is trying to raise funds so i can leave these books at schools with each kiddo so they can draw on it and they can read it and take it home that's awesome so for for our audience how do we support your non-profit how do we uh how do we donate to www.dontdisabilities.com it's all on there or if you go on instagram don't disabilities it's all in the little link tree up there okay so www.dontdisabilities.com we can go there and donate at what a wonderful cause this is um i've got a couple quotes here for this section i i like this one by dick van dyke says we should never judge a day by its weather yeah it's like funny and profound 100p funny and yeah especially right now with all the rain yeah yeah you know what i felt that this morning because i had to ride my bike here i got to ride my bike here because there was ice on the windshield of my car and it wouldn't come up and i was like well and you live so close it's like by the time the ice is melted you yeah exactly exactly but i was but in the moment like i needed to get here like we gotta guess like i i was already like 10 minutes behind what i wanted to be and so i was like geez and then i was like i went back in the house and i was like fine i'll ride my bike and i was like it's it's cold but it's not that bad it's beautiful well and then again if you can if you can just change your mindset this is the idea don't don't judge a day by its weather you just change your mindset about the cold and you're like i like you said i get to ride my bike there there are there are the the top performers in the world who take these like cryogenic baths in in like freezing water who would like swim in the ocean in the morning when it's you know sub temperature degrees outside and and people often want to judge people often want to be like well yeah well if i was so rich i'd jump in the cold ocean too and i'm like no you wouldn't yeah right yeah like no you wouldn't don't don't lie well it goes into accepting mindset right so there's this one meme thing that i i saw like a picture once that had like had somebody in like a really nice car like a super nice car and then somebody under that had a regular one it was like oh you have that car and then somebody else is at a bus stop and it's like oh you have that and then somebody else is like on a bike and they're like you have a bike and like just breaks it all the way down to somebody who's just like can't even walk you know yeah they're like and you're like you got toes dang right yeah love toes wish i had a pair of those i would love a pair of toes what do you think madison don't judge a day by its weather yeah i actually just read that yesterday so that's so funny that you brought it up i think it's very true that and that's it's totally such a mindset listening to everything you guys have been talking about you have to train your brain to live in the moment and enjoy everything for what it is so yesterday i was about to go to a workout but i went outside and i was like oh it's gloomy maybe i should just do this one i'll go tomorrow but then i was like no you're going you already signed up if you don't go you lose 15 dollars so definitely like that and just being grateful for every moment and enjoying what we have i i truly think we're spiritual beings and a human experience so it's raining and tomorrow it's sunny and we're going we have the opportunity to meet new people and now i'm on you know this show it's just there's so many cool things things that we we get to do all the time yeah we've got a lot of abilities and we should not diss our abilities that's why that's what i always say uh all right good yeah that's what i always say as of this morning yeah as as of right okay as of right as of as of 20 minutes ago that's that's matt's i've got another i've got another quote for this segment here this is from uh dietrich bonhoeffer dietrich bonhoeffer uh he says judging others makes us blind whereas love is illuminating interesting interesting we we talk a lot about the bringing uh bringing dark to light you know turning on the light switch and and i just mentioned this as far as like look to find the good yeah right so when you judge what is it saying when you judge you're blind if i judge you i'm not trying to find more things yeah instead i'm internally going this is what you are this is what and i'm making assumptions about you instead of getting curious because i think when you get curious about somebody um especially let's just say there's somebody with a disability so that there's like an outward you know difference about somebody or there's somebody who you know is being rude or somebody who is you know outwardly kind of acting out we talk about this a lot in the kids classes it's a cry for help there's something deep inside there and and if they're acting out you can weirdly say thank you for the cold you can say thank you for the for the that i get to be the one that you're taking it out on because you must see something in me yeah to reach out and ask for help from me yeah and and like what a what a nice way to flip to change our mindset on that totally and uh like when it comes to the the person doing it too like like you said there's so much they've got so much going on they've got their own pain and their own struggles and maybe they do one thing to you right maybe they act a certain way and sometimes it's just an assumption you make about what they said and then you cling to that one thing and everything else guilt just disappears yeah any opportunity to get to know somebody further and and see what's going on and and that's where the real i think magic happens that's where the faith and the power where god like really uses you to make a difference is when you get past that one thing because most people don't you know well and and we're about to spend an entire quarter of our program on this concept because the the idea uh behind the meisner the listening and the dramatic acting we're going to be diving into here at the studio is all about don't judge a word by the by the word yeah it's what's under the word that matters absolutely which is super interesting um yeah you gotta understand the underword yeah oh my god wow i did that one joe's our comedic relief over here yeah i was i i knew it was terrible i had to do it anyway um madison uh what do you think about this concept judging others makes us blind whereas love is illuminating well you guys are so funny the underword thank you thank you appreciate it i mean you think that because someone is wearing gucci shoes or like driving the mercedes they're like oh they must be so happy um that was me i'm talking about myself four years ago i was in brian mentioned i was miss arizona so i was getting every single day i had to be in clothes i was public speaking it was just go go go dressed up and now it's funny because like this sweatsuit this is me my hair just natural this is me and it's no one ever really got to know that side of me but they judged me saying like thinking my life was so perfect as if i didn't have flaws or as if i didn't go through anything so i was talking to a friend yesterday about uh about the show and what i was doing and he was like oh well make sure you don't cuss and what are you gonna wear and all these things and i was like well you know we have created so many different programs if you need to do this in order to be successful you need to wear this in order to be successful if you're not you know making millions and millions every single day you're poor just a bunch of different things so you can't ever judge people by the way they look or by what's going on because some usually you don't really know unless they're like your bestie or your wife or whatever you really don't know and so that's something i've had to work on is when i talk to someone now it's like do you want my opinion or can i give you what i what's going on in my head or can i ask you my question or tell me more just get to know them so i understand the way what tones they use how they act what they're doing with their life so that's a it's a complicated task though that's for sure yeah for sure so um you look so young um are are you are you super young well how old are you well i mean i guess i'm 26 26 yeah yeah i mean this is great you know you've accomplished a lot you're doing a lot it looks like you've got your head in the right space which is very very um awesome and you've got some entrepreneurial um ambitions i believe too right do you have any questions for us as we wrap up this segment here oh man i got no well what guys i guess i enjoy seeing all of this this is the first kind of show i've done where you have all of the the lights the cameras the action type things how did i feel like maybe though so madison let me ask you um do you have some entrepreneurial ambitions i do i obviously this non-profit is my first major one and i just jumped into it i didn't have a business plan but i'm starting to find out what gets me excited when it comes to these things and can't leave their home because their i mean system is lower but in the long run i want a ranch that has animals where we grow vegetables where all of my friends with and without disabilities can come and hang out and have a safe place so i'd like that uh i am getting my real estate license so eventually i would like to i'm not sure i want to sell homes but i would like to flip homes and do some get into commercial real estate my father is a commercial real estate investor and a couple more books would be cool yeah now in my spiritual awakening so that's a whole new world for me but um yeah you know i'm just taking it day by day and seeing what comes out so so very briefly then um before we wrap here talk to me about the spiritual awakening i'm curious about that oh my gosh it's definitely people are like oh your spiritual awakening but it's kind of it's more like this it's like a roller coaster in a very great way it's like a fun roller coaster but at the end some days you want to throw up um you just you just i'm learning a lot about myself my traumas i'm learning how to deal with people and different personalities i'm learning meditation uh and the cool part going back to everything we talked about today is learning that you can read three meditation books but those are all other people's perspectives and their ideas in those books so that's what i love about books is that you can read all day long and you get to learn someone else's perspective or personality or whatever looking for the love of my life or whatever it is but just being here and enjoying the little things that we have on every single corner of this world whatever you want if you want to go to an acting studio you can go to an acting studio if i want to go jump out of a plane i can drive 45 minutes to go jump out of a plane so it's um it's good it's rough but it's good well awesome well congratulations on your awakening i think that's very important uh we we do believe in that and we stress that and and our take on it is to approach spirituality with with curiosity with an with openness curiosity and um and and and this is a great time to turn away from the world to turn away from things and stuff and and and go inward and find find your way back to source find your way back to to the god that that did create us because um that that's where the only true happiness and goodness lies so madison it's so awesome to have you on the show thank you so much for being here appreciate it thank you best of luck with your book don't dis abilities everybody you can go to and and support this organization at www.dontdisabilities.com and when we get back we're gonna jump into our second segment today which is to do for the rest of my life and i knew this was my thing you stress that in that book that you have to have a plan every day and follow follow that plan it's strikingly similar to the same things we talked about in business we had a really good time the staff is amazing we had some great group activities um learned a lot about ourselves is taking off and i don't want to miss my flight i was going to talk about how i have used improv in engineering and in my work and what i learned from you is to get out of your head this class has and the studio has made such a huge positive impact on my life and i cannot thank you enough we're trying to We are back. Matt is hanging out with our man Neville. He is the building manager over here.

Where is he at? You gotta come show your face. Come on, man. Come show your face, Neville. Don't make us look crazy. Yes, we are here with Neville, the multi-dimensional, super-talented… There he is! Oh, man! There we go. Go stand next to Joey there so we can see your face. Hey, Joey's trying to elbow you. There we go. We get to see his elbow. We only see your elbow. You gotta bring your face down.

Squeeze in over next to Joey there. What's up, Joey? Hey! It works. Oh, man. I'll take it. I've got a great photo, actually, of Neville in my phone. I would. As you know, to put it up. I wouldn't show it on here. I love this guy. It's okay. Alright, so this segment here is called "Judge As You Wish To Be Judge." I'm gonna start off here with a couple quotes.

This one here is by Stephen Covey. Big fan of Stephen Covey. He says, "We judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their actions." What'd you think about that? We judge ourselves by our intentions. It's like a riddle, I feel like. Yeah, yeah. Man. So, is this saying that, basically, we judge ourselves more than we judge others? Like, basically, we put more of a parameter on ourselves than are harder on ourselves, maybe?

You know, probably. Or, if we're honest about us, right? We know the underneath of us. So, we judge ourselves by the intention. We judge others by the action. Got it. Okay. So, kind of reverse. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, this is like… In other words, we're very quick to want to give ourselves the benefit of the doubt. But we're very quick to judge others. Yes. Okay. For…

Dang. …for their actions. Do you have the iPad there, Brian? So, we can flip back and forth? Sure. All right. Um, good. So, we judge ourselves by our intentions. We judge others by their actions. So, in other words, like, um… Um… If somebody does something, says something, whatever, how many times are we like, "Well, I didn't intend that. That wasn't my intention." Yeah. You know? And you're like, "Well, but you said it." You know?

Yeah, yeah. I didn't intend it. Well, you know. So, we want to get underneath, and instead of judging the action, instead of judging the words, instead of judging the whatever, we want to go down into the intentions. Hmm. And I guess that goes into… You talk about this a lot, but like, assuming the best in people. Yeah. Yeah. Like, even if something comes out, let's say it's rude or mean or whatever, like, assume that there's something going on, or assume the best.

Absolutely assume the best, 'cause we would want people to do that for us. Alright, I'm gonna go after Joey here. 'Cause he said I could, and we talked about this yesterday. So, the idea here of, um, just a second ago, for real, Joey got mad that we didn't hear him say something. And he was like, "But you know, but I said it. How do you not hear me?" And like, and to expect the best in somebody is like, "Did we purposefully not hear you?" Like, did we, were we trying to like, make you mad?

Were we trying to ignore? Like, no. I mean, there's a lot going on around here. There's music in the ears or something else. Perhaps you said it quietly. Perhaps you just thought it. I mean, who knows? But instead of getting mad, like, what's the intention? Like, if my, if my, if I ask you a question that you've already said, my intention is to just get the information, because I actually wanted to say something, but instead I, like, we, I got attacked for, you know, as, as if I was like, coming at you, or whatever.

And that, and that wasn't the case. So, this just goes back to, like you said, um, wanting to, to, to see the best in somebody. Assuming the best. I, I don't assume you're coming after me. I don't, I don't assume you have, you know, my, my worst interest at heart. Now, of course, this has, um, this has backfired on me. For sure. Sometimes I've assumed the best in people that didn't deserve it.

Sure. Yeah. And, and unfortunately that can be very painful, but I'd rather live in that space. Yeah. Personally, I'd rather live in the space of every now and then, you know, kind of get run over by somebody rather than, um, always being on the defensive and, and, and feeling like everybody's against me kind of thing, you know? Yeah. So. Yeah. Well, and then when you do that and, um, we've talked about this, but when you do that, then you know where you are.

Yeah. And then when you do that, you know, it's just, you know, your heart, because at the end of the day and going into judgment and this whole idea of not judging people, we have control over our aspect. That's it. We have control over the way we treat the people around us, the people that we come in contact with, um, and not judging that that's on us every, the way other people judge us, the way that they even accept our love, the love that you, and we talked about love earlier, sending out love, the way that they accept that that's on them.

But us sending it, that's on us. Sure. That's at the end of it, no matter who it is. And you hear these crazy stories about like, even people who've like had their, had their family murdered and they're somebody in prison, you know, and then they go and they, they forgive that person. And it's insane. Like, I remember when I first heard that, uh, I can't remember, it was the case a while back.

And I was just like, how? Like that's, that's insane to me. And I know that's like a big topic to talk about. But this idea, right? Yeah. And, and death row and all that, like, but, but this idea of somebody going there and saying, I forgive you. Like, there's no power like that. I mean, somebody on the opposite end is like, why? I don't understand. And, and there's just like, we have so much power when we do those things that are so anti what everyone expects.

Yeah. You know, absolutely. And, uh, Joey, if I can come back to you here for one second. Um, so, so even just a second ago, right? Um, I, I, I mentioned that you got mad. Mm hmm. Right? Yeah. Let me see the dimples. Come on. There they are. Put yourself on the screen. Okay. Uh, where'd they go? Now, now having said that, let me, let me just very quickly reverse it.

And, and here's, here's the textbook of what I'm talking about. Okay. Cause I, I'm willing to do this and I just want, I want the world to be willing to do what I'm about to do. Okay. So you got mad at me and then, and then, uh, and then you got defensive because Brian was like, I didn't hear you either. And then you're like, right. And it almost became a thing.

It didn't have to, but it almost did. Okay. So, so we'll take that. And those are facts. We'll just start there. All right. Now I'm going to say, truthfully, I get annoyed when, when people aren't listening to me. I get annoyed when, when I'm like, really? Like you, you weren't listening. It's a, it's offensive. It's, it's something that, that can be painful. So I can tell you that I understand where you're coming from.

That's something that makes sense to me. And I can say, I'm sorry for not hearing you. It wasn't on purpose, but, but I don't, I don't know why or how, or how you said it or what, whatever. I don't, I don't really know the circumstances cause I didn't hear you. Okay. Okay. But if I wasn't present, if I wasn't completely here and in the room and I missed that.

And, and you felt like, like, wow, people aren't paying attention to me. That could be painful. That could be painful. So I apologize for that thing. And, um, and we can move forward from there. Hopefully you'll accept my apology. I'll double down on that. Sorry. Cause I missed it as well. Just a hundred P a hundred P and I'm sorry for being upset about. Joey said, sorry.

Oh my gosh. Wow. You guys. That was so, oh yeah. All the time. It's crazy. How many times Joey says, sorry. It's unbelievable. I said it like four times. It's unbelievable. How many times Joey says, sorry. Once out of one time. No, I said, again, I said like four times yesterday. Four times. That's a lot of times. Uh, we need to put, we need to put the words.

I'm sorry on the roof. That way Joey can find it. Anytime he needs it. It's like, oh, there it is. No, they don't belong up there. The roof is just for, uh, for deep thought, you know, deep thought, yeah, answers. So, so if I go back to, to let's just say, okay, any conflict that comes up, right? So let's just pretend that this was a mini little conflict.

Could have been a conflict. It wasn't, but could have been. It's a nice example. Anyway, I look at the situation and I, if I'm smart, I can take myself out of it for a second and look at it third party. And I can say, do you want to be the first, the one to cast the first stone? Even though Joey cast the first stone, I believe at me.

Do I want to cast the first stone back at him? And I want to look at it and go, well, well, do you ever get frustrated when people don't listen? Well, yeah, you do. You sure you want to cast the first stone? Uh, no, I don't. You know? And it's just like that. You can just immediately flip it and immediately go, okay, how do I get behind Joey's eyes?

Instead of like, because I wanted him to get behind my eyes, but how do I get behind his eyes? And by doing that, it's like, okay, where's it probably coming from? And, and that's where, that's where you go. Best of intentions. It's probably not coming from someplace negative. It's probably coming from like, yeah, well, I, people want to be heard. They need to be heard. It's important to be heard.

And so, so there's that idea of, um, you know, okay, probably come from a place of hurt. Well, is your pride worth, you know, this or that, of course not. So you just deal with it. You fix it. The boom. Yeah. And it really helps when you imagine a real stone. I just did that. Like if there's a literal like, yeah. Like a bowl like this. Like a bowl like this.

I really want to throw this. Like a heavy, like, right? Like, yeah, that would hurt. Like, so words hurt. Um, going into judgment. And that's where my brain actually just went. Kind of. I know it's weird. No, they do. Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words never hurt me. Well, that's that. But sometimes they do. They do. If I let them, if I let them hurt me.

Um, all right. All right. So we talked about this looking for the good in a person. You're bound to find it. We talked about that already. Um, and then the last thing I want to say is, uh, even with yourself and, and, and this is like the God perspective, don't judge you. Yeah. Don't judge you by your cover, you know? So I may, I may look in the mirror and I may, may see like a pimple or I may see that, you know, I put on a couple pounds or I might see this and I want to just judge that.

I want to, I want to judge me by my cover. Instead, I got to go to the inside and I got to work on the inside and understand that the outside is a reflection of the inside. Um, but, but people don't see us the way we see ourselves in the mirror. Mm hmm. People, um, you know, that they'll, when they get to know you, you're you to them.

Yeah. And they love you. Right. And so as you try to change you, it, it, it actually weirdly becomes unattractive to the people that love you the most. Mm hmm. Absolutely. Facts. Facts. All right. That is the end of our segment here. Judge as you wish to be judged. We're going to come back for our quick takeaway. Right after these messages is going to be choose to make a difference.

How to make the choice to do that. We'll be right back. Chapter three, build your team. Chapter four, brand yourself. Chapter five, be a producer. Chapter six, run the business. Chapter seven, be a great actor. you did, and that's happened like four times when you come in where you'll do some creative move and then the next person will go in and they'll be like, when they get to direction, they'll be like, yeah, uh, what if you just did what he just did?

Yeah. Well, you know, you do it enough. Like you just, you just, yeah, there's a laugh. Yeah. Thank you. I appreciate it. One, two, three. I tried to explain. I don't want you to think about getting through the monologue. Yes. Let's go. Now we are. Yeah. I was waiting for a good like cut point to be honest with you. I never, I never know. So like when I, when I heard the video go off in my earphones, I'm like, I think I'm live, but I don't know if I'm live.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. So I shut off because otherwise if I turn it on, then you hear that. Ah. You hear you in the background of you. Ah. So I have to shut it off at the tail end of the commercial. That's why I count down at the end. So we need hand signals. Well, I just count down. I don't know. I'm not really down for the hand.

Oh yeah, but you didn't this time. Eight. Seven. But you didn't this time. Yeah, correct. So how am I going to know? I said we're live. Hand signals are tough for me. Of course I mean. Joey, Joey, Joey is going to get into a fight with me again. What? It's going to happen. About the hand signals? Yeah, because I was like, but you didn't this time. And he's like, but I did.

But I said, you know what I mean? And I'm like, I'm like, we just need to, I just, I just need to know when we're live again. That's all I'm saying. Yeah. That's all I'm saying. Maybe we get one of those signs. Here's the thing. Don't judge a book by its cover. I said it. Choose to make a difference. No. What did you say? We're live after we were live.

But what I'm saying is I, we need the, we need the countdown. I physically said it as I hit the button to turn you live. Right. And it was just quiet. But for four seconds before that, there's a silence in my ear. Mm-hmm. That's what I'm trying to tell you. I need to know the difference between the silence and the live. I need to know about those four seconds.

Which is which. That's where you go. Hey, we're not live yet. Now live. But otherwise we're not, when we, cause he had to have the same thing. I thought that we were live. When, when the sound goes off from the video, it's like, oh, we must be live. Mm-hmm. And then I hit this too early or this too early. Thanks for listening. Or this too early. I say we get one of those signs.

That's what I said. The red ones. And it's never too early to, to play Astrid's intro. This is Mornings with Max. Hey. Hi Astrid. I'm having fun with these, uh, sound effects here. Yeah. So anyway, you know, one of those signs would be great. Choose to make a difference. Just, just a sound. You know, people need sounds. Sounds are good. Where's, uh, I'm looking for another, uh, another little something here.

Can't find it though. Can I read one of your quotes? Maybe it's this. Did you say steak? That's what he was labeled. That's what he was labeled. It's not labeled right. It just says sound three. So I was like. Dakota, you are sound three. I just had to like differentiate that. Um, and that's not a, that's not a dig on you by the way. What? That it doesn't say, that it says sound three.

Just so you know. That's not a dig on you. I'm not saying that. Yeah. He doesn't believe me. Look at the ceiling. Just say, just say, just say sorry. It's right there. It says, I'm sorry. Right up there. Just say it. It's easy. Um, all right. Yeah. You want to hit up a quote there, bright guy? You, you just like so eager to get out of the awkwardness.

I am so eager. Just want to get my way out of here. Ugh. You're the king of awkward, bro. I know. I know. I should be able to just sit in it. Just enjoy it. I should be able to sit in it. Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers. Voltaire. Yeah. Thanks for taking that. Voltaire. Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers.

Yeah. Yes. Be curious. That's what I'm saying. Be curious. The, the, that's why I put that on there. It's like the answer is me judging you. Mm-hmm. Me knowing the answer. That's, that, that's, that's the thing that drives me the most nuts about people is when they think they know. Yep. And it's like the only thing I know for sure is that I don't know. That's it.

Yep. Right. And so to expect that I don't know and to expect that others don't know is then a good thing. Mm-hmm. Like, like for instance, if the sound goes out in the headphones, let's just say, I would expect that maybe you don't know that we're not live because I turned off the volume, but I didn't switch this to live yet. So then I might be like, I, well, I expect you probably don't know.

Joey's going to, let's go back to murder because Joey's going to murder this guy right now. Yeah. No, I'm like, okay, cool. I get it. Do you? Because, because I'm talking about, I'm talking about the one, the sound goes out in the headphones. Yeah, no, I got it. That it sounds like we're live, but we won't know. So then we think we're live and then you're like, we're live.

But then by the time you say we're live, we already thought we were live for, for like four or five seconds. My abs hurt. Yeah. No, I thought the same thing yesterday. Cut to Brian's abs because they hurt. When I was trying to. This is a good workout for Brian. This is a really good workout. Joey, I know you want to fight me. I'm not going to let you.

Well, you're picking the fight, dude. I'm not picking the fight. I'm trying to focus on Joey. No, you're not. No, you're not laughing right now. You're literally. Dude, I'm not fighting with you, bro. Yes, you are. I am not. How is this a fight? You're picking a fight. It's not a fight. Dude. Choose to. Really? Do you think I'm fighting with you? Yeah. Then you're not listening to intention, bro.

Let's go back. Let's go back to the beginning of the show and have you actually listen. Because I'm not picking a fight. My intentions are love, bro. So if you feel attacked, I'm sorry. I'll say I'm sorry. But you need to listen because I'm not attacking you. And we just went from Brian's laughter, trying to cut his abs, to now awkward dead air energy. Feel it? Yeah.

Cut to you. I felt it all show. Cut to you. Let me see your eyes. I felt it all show. Ooh, I didn't. I also did not feel it. But we're choosing to make a difference during this section. Friends. Shall we fight through this thing? No. I mean, we're live on the air. No? You don't want to fight through it? You just want to ignore it? Not live.

All right, then we'll move on then. Okay. So, Walt Whitman says the same thing that I say. His quote is, "Be curious, not judgmental." Be curious. I won't give an example about curiosity. That would be a mistake. Okay. Moving on, this is an anonymous quote, which I just sort of fell in love with here. "Once you awaken, you will have no interest in judging those who sleep." And we were talking about the great awakening.

We're talking about this idea, Madison was talking about this, her spiritual awakening. Mm-hmm. As you start to wake up, you don't have time to judge others anymore. Yeah. And so, rather than judging, you just want to help. You just want to reach back and help the next person. Mm-hmm. Because you feel so good. Yeah. You feel good. And you know, it's like Paul talked about in our Divine Roots podcast, the idea of being in this soup of the world that just kind of bogs you down, and you imagine that you're just a little pea in the soup, and you jump out of the soup.

Mm-hmm. And then you see everybody else in there, and you're like, "Oh, dang. I used to be in that soup." I don't judge you for being in the soup, but I hope you find your way out. Yeah. Because it's so much better over here, so much more peaceful over here when I'm not focusing on the underword. Mm-hmm. I'm going to read this again. That's a callback. Because I really, really liked it.

So, once you awaken, you will have no interest in judging those who sleep. I mean, because it did really hit me. I mean, like this, because the first, also, once you start, like, awakening to even some of the, like, good, right, that you start to do, you immediately want to keep pulling people up with you right away, right? And even sometimes, like, help, and it says choose to make a difference, which is important, right?

So then, then, uh, this is a good one too, for us all to reflect on really quick before I give you the absolute takeaway, which is, um, when I'm judging, when I'm feeling, when I, when I feel a certain way, it's usually a reflection of my own stuff, my own insecurities, like what I've got going on. Hmm. So, so as soon as I want to like go back to, as soon as I want to cast the first stone, as soon as I want to be, you know, mad at you for whatever thing, I got to go, why am I, what, what's the, where's the reaction coming from?

There's something in me that's actually like causing it. So, um, so just being aware that, that the judgment in others is often a reflection of our own insecurities and, and that's a, that's a really good time to stop going inward and then see what's going on with you. Yeah. Uh, so that, that's the, that's the first takeaway. I, I mentioned this, I wrote this down. I, I liked this.

Um, it said, if someone isn't seeing the light, find out if you can help them find a light switch. Yeah. Yeah. I remember you saying that the other day, you know, it was cool. And, uh, and, and, you know, I, I think if I think if I'm honest, you know, I, I thought Joey was playing with us and he got mad. So sorry, Joey. But the truth is if I, if I call myself out on this again for the second time in the show, um, you know, if, if Joey's seriously upset, cool, then I'm sorry.

I really am. And, and if, and it, and it's like, if, if he can't see it, then I don't need to kick him in the dark. I need to flip on the switch and try to help him see it. So we'll flip on the switch. Wasn't coming at you. Hopefully you see that. Uh, if not, then we'll work on it after the show. Um, so here's your big takeaway.

The very big last takeaway here for, for, um, this judgment episode, which is making a difference. What I'm going to ask everybody who's listening to be a soldier for good in this, in this battle that we're in, we need soldiers that are willing to do good, willing to be good, willing to speak good, willing to listen, willing to have a conversation right now that there's just, there's a need that, that we stand up for injustice.

We stand up and, and, and while we're doing this, we remain curious, we remain open and we, and we avoid being judgmental at all costs. You can be a soldier for good. And, and we, we often think something like one vote doesn't matter or, or I'm just one person. And, and I, and I'll admit, I feel this way. Sometimes I feel small in this big world. I feel like that little P, but if I take that perspective on, I'm a little piece, so there's nothing I can do.

And then I just don't do anything. Well, like one, one little P is not powerful, but, but like an army of, of, you know, um, of people who are all doing good. It does make a difference. It, it, it will cause a movement. And so you can just choose to be part of the movement of good, the movement of curiosity, the movement of listening. So the big takeaway today is be a soldier for good.

I love that. All right. Thanks so much for watching everybody. This has been the mornings with Matt show. Appreciate you tuning in. God bless. Thanks for listening to mornings with Matt. Please like subscribe and follow us at Dearing acting studio to keep up with the latest content. For more information on classes, private lessons, or professional development coaching, visit www.dearingstudio.com. Have a Dearing day, everyone. Have a champy day, everyone.

Ruff.