Act As If This Is Forever: How to Adapt When Everything You Were Doing Stops

Welcome to Mornings with Matt, personal and professional development training that connects the art of acting with critical life skills and self-mastery. Presented by the Dearing Acting Studio. Welcome everybody to Mornings with Matt. We've got an amazing guest today, Ms. Connor Malone. Hello, young lady. Hello, hello. Good morning. So good to see you. Good to see you too. So tell me, what's going on in your world? You said you're busier than ever, yeah?

Yeah, I actually moved this week, crazy enough. You moved in the middle of all this? How did that come about? Did you make the decision to move in the midst of this, or was that something that was already pending? It was pretty much already pending. There were some issues with our apartment, so we had to move out abruptly. So I've been staying with my parents, crashing with them, so it reminds me of being a kid again for the last month.

So it's been a lot of fun. You know, at least it gave you something to do, like very specific tasks and whatnot. Yes, and I also coach volleyball, so that's been pretty challenging, just trying to stay connected with the girls on video chat and make sure they're still working out because there's a potential that we might still have a season, we might not. And kind of just being there for them and helping them get through this has been, it's been really difficult, I would say.

Yeah, probably tough for them and for you. So, let's get to a couple of your questions here. You were, explain your thoughts on, you know, you wanted some advice on your current clients and how they could adapt. What did you mean by that? I was just kind of talking about students and adapting, acting-wise, kind of figuring out, going about it, and do you go about it in the same way that you normally would?

Just the same thing, like, you're going to practice your lines, you're going to practice doing what you need to do every, like, every single day and kind of stay in that same mindset of routine, or do you need to kind of change things around? And that's kind of what I was curious at what your thoughts were. Got it. So, the first step, I believe, for us adapting to this is we, number one, we need to accept the reality of what's going on, and that can be hard.

So, just like, you know, if you think of this as almost like going through the grieving process, we want to start with just acceptance. The idea is, okay, this is happening. So, okay, great. So, now that I've accepted that thing, what do I do now? And that's how we adapt. And the way you do this is, here's what I'm doing, and this is what I'm encouraging all of our students to do, is act as if this is forever.

Okay. And as weird as that sounds, it's not negative. This is actually positive. So, you're saying, what I'm saying here is, rather than waiting for this to be done, I'm going to think, okay, what if? What if I was born right now, and this was the landscape, and then we all started life from here? What would we do? What would we do? And the truth is, actors would find a way to act.

Writers would find a way to write. We're doing our master class, and for instance, I'm encouraging our students, they're still going to be in costume, and they're still going to have all their props, and we just adapted the scripts to be via FaceTime. Got it. So, that we're looking at each other right here. And I said to everybody, what if that playwright who wrote that Pulitzer Prize-winning play, what if they only knew this time?

They would still get that story out, because the story doesn't change. The essence is still human relationship back and forth. They would have just found a way to write it so that our actors could connect virtually. So, by doing that, it eliminates the excuse for not working. And then understanding, too, that there will be some sort of a shift. There's already been a shift way before this happened, and I'm sure you've noticed it, with some virtual castings and a lot of just online presence.

I know you've got a big online presence. And so, things were already going that way, and this has fast-forwarded everything. I mean, now all of a sudden, everybody is connected online in a new, unprecedented way. All of a sudden, schools are being taught differently. We're teaching our acting classes. I mean, Connor, for those who are innovating, it's incredible. I thought to myself, this is a weird concept, but let's just try it.

Let's see if we can figure out how to do improvisation online. But that sounded crazy to me. And then we taught an improv class online, and it was so much fun. It was unbelievable. And then it spawned this idea, and it was our most successful podcast we had done, this idea of doing an old-time radio improv show where people could only hear what we were doing. They couldn't see what we were doing, and it opened up everyone's creativity and imagination to be when they were listening to our characters.

It's as if they were creating them in their own minds, so they weren't limited by what they were seeing. So I see it, if you can find a way to see this as an opportunity for yourself to grow and realize that you are going to be held to this new, weird standard where you're going to be, you have to be creative. There's no way around it. You have to find innovative ways to help yourself grow.

Because just like your players, they can't be with you right now. They can't be doing the normal exercises that they do. So what can they do? And how can they challenge themselves in new ways that's going to benefit them on the court? And so probably, let's be honest, they're not going to be able to work out as hard and as good as if they had you. But what they will have is perhaps more time to study the game, more time to watch game tape and to look at the theory and concepts and positioning and really focus on technique.

Those things, they can do more than they would have been able to do before. So that's an example of putting this into your volleyball world. Set a standard for them physically, but then set a higher standard. Set a standard for them mentally, knowing that if you come out of this more mentally tough and smarter and more connected, then you're going to be better. You're going to 10X everybody around you.

Yeah, that's great. That's great advice. All right, good. And then you mentioned something about routine. Talk to me about that. So I'm still doing interior design work, actually. My family's custom home building business is still going. So I'm trying to get back into this. J.P. Malone Construction. But yeah, we're still working. You guys have a website? Yeah, of course. www.jpmalone.com. J.P. Malone.com. Cool. Tell me about your houses because I'm going to want to build a custom home one day.

Yeah, well, currently we're remodeling a couple homes in Silverleaf. My parents' home that I'm staying in now is custom built, and it's a beautiful barn. It's really cool looking. It has these amazing ceilings. I can just show you a little bit. Yeah, you need to show me this, please. Oh, I love it. Look at the ceilings. Yes, gorgeous. So is that – do they have a particular style that you can kind of feel it's a J.P. Malone home, or they have a variety of different things?

Yeah, I would say we definitely have a variety. We do farmhouse, modern, contemporary, traditional, and we're all over. Everything is custom down to the hardware. We can make anything customized, so it's really exciting. I've been doing home renderings, which are basically 3D designs like Sims, like the game Sims, for my clients just so that they can get a visual idea of what their home will look like after it's remodeled or if you're building a brand new home, kind of the feel for the space of how big, how much is this square footage, how big is this wall.

So you got into interior design in order – and so then you went to work for the family, and then do you do interior design for – other people outside of J.P. Malone as well? No, I mainly just work in-house. So my mom and I, we have a side business called Malone Design, which is a – it's still a part of J.P. Malone Construction, but they're separate entities, but underneath the same umbrella.

Yeah. And then – okay, so let me ask you really quick, and this would be interesting, I think. It might segue into something else. How is your family using this time? You know, your parents and somebody who's in the construction business? Because you're going to be affected for sure. There's going to be a time where things are not quite as busy. I mean, everyone has had to adjust what they're doing.

So how are they finding ways to survive and thrive right now? So right now, we're still deemed essentials, and we're doing exterior work. That's incredible. You know, it's interesting. That was one of the exact same perspectives that we took on this because, you know, my work is essentially helping people with a positive mindset. And, you know, we're very specifically in the personal development space. We have an acting-related concept that connects the two together.

But so what I figured out right away is I was like, all right, we want to be essential to the essential businesses. I mean, they're out there and they are being, you know, exposed. They're putting themselves out there because they're being asked to keep working while everyone else is being asked to stay home, right? So my thought was how do I reach out and help those people?

How do I connect to those people? And not to get paid but just to make sure that I'm contributing in my own way with my expertise. And I think that's a beautiful way that you guys are going about it as well. Yeah, absolutely. So that, I mean, that's kind of where we're at lately. We've been trying to stay busy, trying to keep everyone employed because it is a family business and, you know, there's only so long when, you know how it is.

Totally. You guys understand how it works. You look at where you were smart and your nest egg and then you're like, okay, well, if this happens and this happens and you try not to go six months down the line because it's just sad if you don't. Yeah, but you also kind of need to be prepared for anything. So you're not buying online shopping right now. That's probably not the most wisest decision.

Yeah, exactly. Okay, good. So ask me your question about routine then. Okay, so my question for you is how do you get back on routine with all this going on? I'm used to working out every morning and lately I've been struggling with that. I work out towards, like I try to work out, kind of just, I have like these things I do every single day in the same way and now it's kind of all been turned upside down with not having volleyball after work and not going to acting class and not training with my friends or something like that.

It's kind of been hard. Yeah, yeah. So rather than saying, okay, all right, so you used to get up at 4.30. All of a sudden, you've been getting up at 6, 6.30, a little unmotivated, kind of eating differently. So instead of me moving from 4.30 to, say, 5.30, what I did was I went the other direction, and this has happened a couple times. So now I actually get up at 3 in the morning.

I used to get up at 4.30. I wake up at 3 now. And I consider that what it is, it's like a shock because what happens is I get up at 3, and I'm like, oh, that was tough. But then three days into that, all of a sudden, I'm feeling amazing the way I did way back when when I first started. Because sometimes you get into a routine for a while, and you forget how good it feels to make big gains quickly.

So this is like by you creating some sort of a shock, whatever it is. So what did you used to do when you would work out in the morning? At what time? I would just get up at like 7 o'clock, or I would get up at 6.30, be at the gym by 7, out by 8, breakfast, work, and then routine, routine. I would go to practice every single day, so like right after work.

Yeah, right. So you used to get up at 6.30, you said? Yeah. Great. So tomorrow and for the rest of the week, you're going to do seven days, 5.30. Okay. Okay, and it's like, why? There's no reason to get up at 5.30. Exactly. That's the reason why. Because you don't have to. If you're doing what you know should get done, even though you don't have to, all of a sudden now by 8 o'clock, you're going to have the whole day in front of you, an extra time.

And then what I highly recommend, actually, is when you're going to get to there, get your workout in first, so you're feeling very good physically. Then I would work on your dreams. So if you can work on your acting, work on anything connected to like where you're trying to take your modeling or different ideas, maybe social media, whatever you're trying to do creatively, do that then as well.

In those morning hours when everybody else is kind of sleeping and groggy, get yourself to that place where you're going next level. After that, get some things done that you have to do. Check your schedule. You know, all of a sudden kind of check in on some things. Then give yourself a siesta. So just nap right in the middle of the day. Just pick a time and go down for two hours.

Then wake up, and you're going to get day number two after you wake up in the afternoon. And then that's your time to give back. So it's your time to – you've filled your own bucket. Now in the afternoon, I can give to my job. I can give to my players. I can give to my family. I have myself filled. I've done the things I need to do for me in order to feel like I'm going next level with my life.

So now I get the opportunity to give more to other people because I'm feeling fulfilled myself. Yeah, I like that. Definitely will do that. All right, cool. All right, so then we had the last question here was how to stay positive, right? Why don't you expand on that? I was just going to ask how you – I'm definitely someone who likes to always be on the positive side of everything.

But with some of these hardships and these things that are happening, how do you – it's not necessarily flipping it, like accepting it and trying to move forward positively. How do you go about that? Yeah, it's a great question. And I think – so I have this philosophy that one of the hardest things to do is deal with success. And I know this is the opposite of your question, but I'm going to start there.

And so I talk about this concept when I work with salespeople and even just tell myself the same thing. When you're dealing with success, it's hard to maintain a successful grind because you don't have to as badly. And I call it this concept of plant while you're harvesting. So while all the crops are coming in, I got to have the discipline to put more seeds down because if I don't put seeds down, then I won't have another harvest coming, right?

What's very unique about this time right now – and it's – this is one of those once-in-a-lifetime, once-in-a-generation events. This is like World War II. It is like 9-11. I mean this is a big deal that is shaking the entire world. And there's very few things that have ever done that. And it comes about every 100 years, so we can expect something. Maybe most of us thought it was going to be a nuclear bomb or something, and it turns out to be – it surprises how it came, but it always does.

So what does that mean? Well, I think what that means is it's really hard to plant seeds and almost inappropriate. Like right now is not the time to be thinking about how you can make money. It just isn't. Now is not the time to be greedy in any way, shape, or form. Now is the time to love and to give. And so – and that is so hard.

So my thought is to stay positive, what you're going to do is instead of thinking about this like I'm trying to plant new seeds down in order to grow myself for the future, I'm just going to deal with this dirt. The dirt right now is really hard. It is – we're in a drought. So if I put seeds down, they're not going to grow anyway. So instead, I'm going to – I'm going to roll up my sleeves, and I'm going to go to work hardcore on the soil.

And I'm going to try to fertilize this soil that is just not good soil right now. And by doing all that work, what I'm going to do is I'm going to prepare the ground for when it's time to plant again. And I will be one of the few people that have a soil that is ready to plant when the time comes. Everybody else will catch up eventually, but they might not have been preparing the dirt the whole time.

So that's what I'm doing with my mind to try to keep myself in a positive place. Just understand there are daily things that I can do to help myself prepare the ground. And I consider the ground like grounding myself. So, for instance, and I know you believe this, but you need to be informed, but you cannot become obsessed with what's going on, the news and whatnot. You've got to just, like a crazy person, protect your thoughts.

Because it's so easy to go down that path of what ifs, what ifs, what ifs, what ifs, down a line of negativity, negativity, negativity. And there are certain people that are going to be that way, and you have to either sort of cut them off when they're speaking, and you do your work where you readjust their minds, or you're going to have to just talk to certain people less if they refuse to not talk about anything but negative stuff.

But you've got to protect your own thought life, and you've got to find ways to discover what could be good. Let me focus on what could be good and what opportunities there might be for me to serve at a higher level. And I think at the end of the day, positivity, it all comes back to God. It comes back to love. It comes back to connectedness. And if we look back on our lives and we realize, when was I the happiest?

It's when I was giving. It's when I was giving freely, and when I was not fearful, and when I was not being angry or scared. It's when I was being loving and connecting and serving other people. And so when it's the hardest, which is right now, because everybody, it doesn't matter how much money you have or don't have. Since everyone's been affected across the board equally, whatever you have, you're afraid of losing.

So everyone has this equal amount of fear. So are you disciplined enough, and is your faith strong enough for you to give right now, for you to find ways to give? It's different, you know, to go out and be like, oh, how much could I afford and do this or that, or say, okay, how could I really impact people today? Okay, so we need food. If I change the way I order slightly, I could actually buy myself a meal and this other family a meal.

And I can benefit a small business at the same time, and here's how I'm going to find a way to give. And if everybody focused on that, I'm talking everybody, we would not see much of a shift, actually. Because the whole idea of the economy is we need money moving. We need money going in and out and in and out. And so what happens is everybody holds back for a second and gets a little scared, and I think that's when things freeze.

So if you could be part of that revolution of being one of the people that are going to give, you will feel positive. And being in that positive state will automatically draw more abundance to you. So the thing that you're afraid of, you won't have to be afraid of anymore anyway. Because just by being in that state, you're going to be bettering your mind, body, and spirit, and you'll find a way out and find a way to be positive and successful.

And it doesn't mean every day is positive. You know, you can't take news like you got of your player's dad and just be like, oh, but we'll just be positive about it. Like, you know, that's a reality, you know. But you can also take that and say, you know, I love you, and like, what can I do for you? And she can do the same thing, you know.

How can she connect deeper to her dad, and how can she connect deeper to her family and find new ways of connecting? So even in that, there can be good. You just have to really fight for it. And so the bigger the crisis, the bigger the struggle, the more we have to lean on God, the more we have to lean on spirit and connectedness and giving with other people, or else we will go down that negative path, guaranteed.

Yeah, I agree. Thank you. I really appreciate you speaking with me. I feel a lot like a lot has been lifted. Good. And you're going to get up at 530 in the morning tomorrow for a whole week. And I'll check in with you personally. We're going to find out where you're at and how that's going for you. Got it. Connor, thanks so much for being on the show.

Sure appreciate you. Thank you, guys. I'm so excited. Everybody watching, thanks so much for being on Mornings with Matt. Matt, thank you for sharing, subscribing, and being a part of our show and our community. God bless. Thanks for listening to Mornings with Matt. Please like, subscribe, and follow us at Dearing Acting Studio to keep up with the latest content. For more information on classes, private lessons, or professional development coaching, visit www.dearingstudio.com.

Have a Dearing day, everyone.