Embracing the Uncomfortable: Do You Trust Me?

This is the Dearing Acting Studio Podcast, where we discuss the connection between life and acting. What is up, you guys? Welcome to the Dearing Acting Studio Podcast. I am here today with Brian and Joey Sweeney, the Sweeney brothers. Matt is not here today. He is hanging with his family, having some Christmas events going on. So I am here. If you guys are listening and you don't recognize my kind of half-manly voice, this is Shea speaking to you.

Shea! Shea! So I want to just let you guys in on a little secret. So we love doing podcasts and we're so, like we, it took us a little while to like get into the groove of us four doing it because honestly, I had never podcasted before, ever. Brian, did you podcast before this? No, I definitely had not podcasted before at all. He was on a Christian faith podcast.

Yeah, but that was, again, that was after. I mean, that's sort of a manifestation thing in a sense. Oh, really? Oh, that was after we started this. We already started that like way back. of our content and things like that. We get to do the fun stuff like, like podcasting. And it's so fun because it's something we really look forward to as a team. And it's very much like a special treat for us to get to do.

And I feel like it's fun because during the week we have so many different priorities and, and quadrants to get through. And it's really an earned thing. Like, you know, do we get to do a podcast and have fun with each other? And so today, fun fact, we try really, really hard to do podcasts on time. It is 11.03 and we were supposed to start this podcast an hour ago.

Now we have been in our podcast chairs since 10. And doing something very podcast related. So that's what I wanted to start with. So Joey is very gifted in rapping, actually. He's very, very good at it. Oh, I don't have the button next to me. He can't do it from self. There it is. Yeah, there we go. Oh, yeah. And I am like so self-conscious about it.

I'm a singer, but like that's never something I would ever touch. And Joey was like, let's spit a beat. You know, he puts his beat on. Let's spit a beat. He never said spit a beat. I manifested that. But Brian and I and Joey just went off for like the past 30 minutes just doing different beats and like having fun and being super creative. Shea, did you say you were a singer before?

Mm-hmm. Like right here? Every move I make. Oh, that's the wrong lever. That's the wrong lever. Here we go. Every move I make, I'm making you. You make me move, Jesus. Okay. Like that? That was not either of our real voices. No, not at all. Not at all. But I was so nervous to do it. And it was just so fun because we just didn't care. And we just started going and we actually found some like kind of skills in there that we didn't know that we had.

Well, you and Joey found some skills for sure. But actually, that kind of goes into the idea of just getting in your own head, honestly. Totally. Because usually I can just spit it and just go and just like rhyme and do certain things. And you got in here and I got mega nervous. I don't know what Shea did. For no reason. And Shea dropped. Well, what happened was Shea walked in and she's like, I don't know.

I've never done this before. And she just like all of a sudden drops all this stuff. And I'm like, um, okay. And then I got in my head. I told myself false lies about like, well, when I'm not taking my, when I'm taking my Adderall, I'm really focused. So I can't actually be free and silly and whatever. And that's just a lie. Which is an excuse. Total lie.

Total lie. And Joey's done it in class, like, cause he can spit crazy and I'll like pull him up and I'm like, Hey, come do it in front of the class. And he's like, okay. Like, you know? Yeah. Well, and that fear comes from just like, and we're not, I mean, maybe we have plans to show this, but we'll probably show it to Matt and then we'll all laugh about it later.

But, um, you know, this is just for fun. This wasn't, there was no pressure on us that we literally just had this idea and just decided to have some fun and kind of try to be free and be creative. And I'll make, I'll make a little, uh, deal to our listeners here. Okay. So if by the end of January, by the end of December, right before January 1st, New Year's.

So that's like six days. Yeah. If by the end of that, we get 15 Instagram messages to release it, I will release the rap session. Oh my God. No. Oh gosh. No, no, no, no. We'll make, we'll make a new one. No, I'll release the darkness to light. Okay. Of our final lap sesh. Okay. That was unplanned. I'm just saying like now it's on them. So if they really want to hear what we did.

All right. Fair. I have it recorded. I can put it out. Okay. But you guys are going to have to do the work for it. Right. Ooh. But it makes me think about in our classes, like we, we have all been through several times what the exercises we teach are. And it goes back to just trusting. Like I, I hear myself say it a lot. If I know, so if I preempt, okay, I know I'm going to put a student in a place that they've never been before.

I'm going to take their mind somewhere else. I may take them somewhere else physically. And I asked them, I say, do you trust me? And it's funny because that's a really big thing to say. Big question there, buddy. Yeah. Especially to a new student. Yeah. And do I expect them to say, yeah, most of the time, but I don't expect them not to go, well, like, what does that mean?

You know? And there were so many times that Matt asked me that. And I've, I've said this before, like a long, long time ago, I was really making strides in this, in this monologue. And he asked me to simulate that I was ripping my hair out and that I was screaming and just going insane. And we were in that tiny back room at the old studio and, and all of these people sitting in front of me are just goggling, like just staring at me.

And I was so frustrated that he asked me to do that because I was like, how am I going to put myself in this vulnerable situation in front of these people that I don't know that don't care about me? You know, so I'm making all these false assumptions in my mind and I didn't do it. And I was so, I could see the disappointment on his face and I could feel the disappointment within me because I wasn't at that point yet in my acting journey or my life journey, like personal development wise, that I was able to be like, oh, I understand what you're doing.

Well, and I bet in that moment, there's a part of you that really wanted to, right? That just like so badly wanted to. And it's just like, that's where we're our own worst enemy, you know? Cause we like, cause the truth is we really want to, like, we want to be able to be that free. And then we defeat ourselves in that way. Again, just like I did earlier.

Like I, I don't know why it was happening. And then I started to realize it was happening. Joey brought it out cause I didn't even realize it and it helps when someone does that for you. And then I was like, oh, duh, like, let's just keep going. And then, and then the track ended, but if it hadn't, I would have kept going in that way because it was like, oh, that's Dr. Light.

Boom. That's right. That is the case. Well, and the coolest thing is like you said, I brought that up so impromptu. We were literally about to start the regular podcast. Right. And I was like, let's do something different. And you just went all in. Like you didn't hesitate. You literally, you were sitting there, you listened to the beat for a second and then you just went into it.

Like you did, you attacked, which is exact opposite of the story you just told. So clearly you took that lesson and you were able to apply it, which is so cool. Cause that's the biggest thing at the end of the day. It's like, we're all going to have our struggles, but are we going to get better every day? Are we going to learn from our past lessons?

And I can tell you from a personal place, I don't learn from my past lessons a lot. So I've had to go back and repeat things. And just recently I'm starting to get better at like really sinking in and believing that and applying it to all circumstances. Cause I found that for myself, when I would get a lesson from Matt or from one of you, I would take it.

And sometimes I just would disregard it, which is so dumb, so dumb guys. But, uh, but besides that, if I did apply it, I would apply it only to the situation that I was in versus just applying it everywhere and going, how does this make everything else better? So like, how does that instance on stage make me better when I get put in a presser situation on a mic?

Like that was so cool. And you can just see the connection right there. It's so crazy. So part of what we talk about with our students, especially in masterclass, when scenes go up is like, you'll, you'll notice that, that students and actors and, um, anyone that walks into the studio, they, they start to get their flow, pun intended. They start to, it'll be halfway through the critique or halfway through the scene or halfway through the hour that we're coaching or whatever, but, but they get somewhere.

And one of the biggest things we can teach is like, okay, that's awesome that you got there. We wanted you there when you walked into the scene, which is so hard to do. And what I think is so funny about this day is like, this wouldn't have happened if our energy wasn't good coming in. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like we got here at 7am, um, Monday morning and needed, needed to put some, some time in this morning on some studio work before we kind of let ourselves go for the next three days.

Well, not let ourselves go, but let ourselves enjoy family time for Christmas. And let's talk on that too. The fact that this wouldn't have happened if we weren't here today. And a lot of people aren't at work today and they're, you know, and they, and they sort of, we talked about it on our last podcast. We called it the December curse. They've sort of checked out a little bit from what they usually do.

Which again, no, no hate, no judgment, no whatever. Like everybody's on their journey doing what they do. But this, we did it from a, uh, and Matt's leadership. He brought it in and said like, Hey, last year, years before, like this is when, this is the times when we, we've got safe, you know, where we're like, Oh, okay, everything's good. Let's, let's go into holiday season and whatever.

And then you come back in January and you're like attacking, but you're also catching up on so much instead of getting ahead while everybody else is, is not. And it's just, it's an insane opportunity to let yourself sort of do that, to, to get ahead. A lot of people do that with sleep and with other things where, where they're working in hours that normal people are, are watching like Netflix for like an insane amount of hours or doing other things.

Gary V talks about that. Like, but it's a choice. Like you, you can use that time to get ahead on everybody else. Yeah. And it's just cool that like, we're getting to do that and mainly cool because we weren't last year and that's the whole, that's the whole growth thing. And so, and the funny part, at least for me is like, at first I wasn't bought into that.

I did not like, it was like, okay, I'll do it. But like, I'm not into it, you know? And then recently I was like, okay, like I'm excited for this. It'll be fun. And then we got here this morning and like, like Shea said, our energy is just like on fire. We're all sort of doing our own thing, but also working together, rowing the boat together as Matt would say.

And that's cool because if we come in with that type of energy, like I'd rather be here than at home right now, truthfully. Right. Even though like we have family in town and all that, because I feel productive. I'm doing what I love and we're pushing the ball forward on stuff that wouldn't have got done if we weren't here, you know? So that, that, that concept is so cool because when you make the choice and you give in and you have a positive attitude about it, now we have memories from today that would not have been there if we hadn't made that choice.

Well, yeah. And it's all about strategy. It's all about like looking at things from a different perspective, you know, because like we look at our family in town, right? We spent more time with Jimmy already than, which is our little, our, my little brother, Joey's older brother. We spent more time with him this trip yesterday than we do on a normal trip at all. Yeah. And we've got planned points throughout certain things.

So it's really, you're just, if you're really looking at it, you're getting rid of the times where you were just doing nothing. Yeah. And getting excited about doing nothing. And it's, it's cool. It's just really cool. Navigating this season, it's like, and this is something that Matt speaks on all the time. Like we don't have to fall into the same stressful rut that is environmentally put on the world during holiday season because it is stressful.

There's, there's finances and, and then you got to buy people gifts and you got to make sure you're spending time with everybody you need to spend time with and you need to bake and you need to not try not to gain 75 pounds with all the sugar you're eating. And, and there's all these things that, that you have to do, you know, and like I had the greatest day yesterday and I had planned out, you guys saw it in the calendar, probably like baking with my mom, you know, and I had to, I had to teach in the morning and then, which the class she came to.

And then we had this whole day like planned out to bake. And then we went, um, did a little bit of extra Christmas shopping, which always stresses me out. Cause I always wait till the last minute and, but we had such a good day. And then, and then I had another plan with a, with a friend that night that ended up being so great. And I am a planner.

Like I am a person, if you, and this sounds so bad and I, I remember saying this on another podcast. It's so funny. I'm having the craziest deja vu right now, but I am a scheduler. So if things are not in my schedule, they will get missed. And, and it's never to be like, Hey, let me put you in my schedule, but I do that so I can keep track of being a hundred percent in that moment.

Well, yeah. And there's, there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that. And the people who are the most successful do that. And they, they get the best time with those people. They get the best time and quality time and people will learn to adapt to what you do. Right. So Matt was just teaching me this about the, about food stuff and different things.

Cause we're working towards being healthier, like working on that. Um, and, uh, and when it comes to that and scheduling and stuff, like people will adapt when they start to learn your habits and learn what you do, one, it takes one time for you to go someplace and go, yeah, I can't, I can't actually eat anything here. And they're like, they, you know, it's not about making someone feel bad.

Oh, okay. And then the next time they go to plan something, they don't do that. Like we don't do it for somebody else. If you find out someone's like totally like a vegan or whatever, like you're not like, let's go to the steakhouse and let's rock it. Like, yeah. But you have to train them. I was going to say, you have to take accountability to, to tell people in your life.

Hey, I'm getting on this boat. That's going to go a different pathway that I've never done before. I need you to jump on it with me and help me sail it because otherwise if I'm doing it alone, which, which you can either choose, you know, I did, my husband and I lost like 60 pounds before we got married on a diet and, and everybody around us, everybody around us like rallied and, and tried so hard to adapt to what we could do.

You know what I mean? And like, but we were also very careful to be like, okay, we're not going to make everybody else's plans change for us as well. You know what I mean? So it's that balance between, you think ahead. It's all about planning. Go back to your schedule. Yeah. You don't put yourself in situations that are going to get you off track. And if you are put in those situations and you have to find the way to rise above it and something.

So these boys, I went on a trip to Mexico. Shout out to B got, who's getting married in a couple of weeks for a bachelorette party. And we had a lot of fun and we came home and the boys were on a, on a fast. And it was so funny cause I, I wasn't on this fast and, and I would like sit in my car and eat lunch because I, cause I've been there.

I've been there when you can't eat anything and people are eating in front of you and it's a totally tough trigger for me. So I'm sitting in my car and I'm so proud of them and they're chugging back their super greens that look like dirt on the ground and whatever. And they smell like dirt, but keep in mind, you know, so they ended yesterday or whatever and, and they started this mid December.

So it's not like, okay, January one, get out the greens. You know what I mean? And we get in that rut where it's like, I, and I darkness to light. I am so the, um, I'll start my diet on Monday person. I am, I am a ton of percent. Like if I make a decision a hundred percent, I'm going to be like, I'll start it on Monday.

And, and I, and I hate that. And I'm working better at it. And, and that goes in the mindset of like, just do it now, like just do it now. So that way you can get ahead. That's part of the reason that I work out on Sundays because that makes me feel like my week has already started and it really helps with the anxiety that I get on Mondays.

And that's what the whole world is going through right now. We're all trying to push as hard as we can to get through the rest of the year. So that way we wake up on January one, a brand new person that's like not real life. Yeah. That's such a cool concept that you just talked about, because like for me, speaking on that health fast that we went on for the week, uh, I've done it once before and I failed out on day three, like the morning of day three, we had a rehearsal and I was like feeling crappy because my mind wasn't in it.

So I caved, I went out of it and I didn't feel much better afterwards either, you know? And so this time around, Brian and Matt had already made the decision that they were going to do that. And so then I was like, okay, cool. And I live with Brian. So I was like, all right, well, we're not eating the same meals anymore. That, that kind of blows, you know?

And so I was thinking like, well, what does that mean for me? Why wouldn't I do it? Like kind of deal. And they didn't want me to do it. They did not want me to do it unless I wanted to. Oh yeah. We, we had it out like a little bit, not in a bad way, but like we had to go back and forth for a, for a while that night.

Right. On decision making. Oh, you and Matt or you and me, you and me. Yeah. Cause, cause literally you were like, yeah, I'll do it. And I was like, well, no, you can't unless, unless like you can, but not because we're doing it. Right. Right. Not because, and I've fallen in that trap a billion times and that's the, that was my biggest realization recently that I'm working towards is like the lies I tell myself when it comes to certain things and I will do a lot of great habits when I have to, but to set my mind in a place where have to becomes a have to when it's not a have to, that's challenging.

That's the hardest. That's so hard. And I'm like, I'm speaking from a place of not even close to there yet. Not even close, but like starting to realize that that was the case. Like when you set a time, this is what Matt was telling me. And this is so cool. It, you're not competing against anybody else. You're competing event against you yesterday. So if you don't get better than yourself yesterday, you should hold yourself accountable for that.

Or you should want to, you don't have to, but there's no reason to compete against anybody else because you're the one that matters. If you're better than yourself yesterday, you're doing the best you can. Well, and again, speaking on that with Matt and his, a lot of the things that we're talking about came from him sharing with us and bringing us along and like, and fighting through on his journey.

And we're in a place as a team where we're all starting to really feel it together. And as he would say, rowing in the right direction, which is exciting. And, um, coming up in January, he's not here, uh, but he's got, uh, we all have a great workshop coming up on personal development. Yes. Yes. And I highly, highly recommend going through it. Cause he's going to talk through on his end, his whole goal system, like the way he sets it up to be consistent.

And again, consistency, as we're talking about here is the key. It's the biggest challenge. It's what's really hard, but he has a system for it that, that works. It's, it takes a lot of time to go through it, but if you do it, it works. It's fantastic. And, uh, it, it will benefit in all areas of life, not just in your acting, not just in whatever you want to focus on health, whatever.

Every area of life will be, will grow through doing it. And so, uh, highly recommend checking that out cause it's going to be just fantastic. That is on January 18th. Um, it's a Saturday. It's from 10 AM to 1 PM. You can check out details at Dearing studio.com, or you can always call in the studio at 480-313-9901 and talk to your girl. Well, guys, this was, this was just an amazing session.

I'm so, so glad that we got to do this and, and talk on all this stuff. Cause it really rang true to me. And, uh, and that session we had before was really fun. So remember the challenge, everyone. Remember the challenge. You have six days. Days are counting down. Shea, Shea, Shea, Shea doesn't want you to, but. You don't have to. But all the more reasons to it, I suppose.

All right. Have a doing day, everybody. Have a great holiday season. We love you all. Thank you.