The Good Fight: Small Honest Conversations Before They Turn Into Big Ones

This is the Dearing Acting Studio Podcast, where we discuss the connection between life and acting. Don't come after me like that. That is my thing. I love it. That means you did well, I feel like, if somebody liked it so much that they wanted to join in. She was harmonizing with your intro, bro. Absolutely. Okay. So take it from an 85 to a 13, my guys. Let me just back down.

Thank you. He took the L, everybody. He took the L. Smart man. He's learning, Joey. Way to go. Nice job. Welcome, everybody, to the Dearing Acting Studio Podcast. I am Matthew Dearing, here with Shea Tilbel, Brian Sweeney, and Mr. Joey Sweeney. Hey, what up, guys? Wow. I don't know where. He's just, that was great. I just wanted to do something. Something different today. I was going to rip on you, and then I'm like, there's no reason to rip.

See if I say it. Hey, what up, guys? Yeah, Joey's in a place where he can actually do that. You know, he's like still fitting in that teenage, I feel like, that's like a, yeah, I'm still cool with you guys. Like, that's the vibe I got from that. Wait, what does that have to do with him being willing to do a voice? The voice, I feel like, fit that?

It did. You know, like, it, like. See, here's the thing. Joey can still say things like, like, yo, that's lit. And it doesn't sound weird. And it's okay. If we say that. I could say, yo, that's lit. Yeah. No, it's. Like, that laugh track. That's lit. That's a lit laugh track. Like, that sad sound. That was a, that was a lit sad sound. Oh my God. It's been.

Just let it go. He has said lit like eight times in the past 30 seconds. All right. The fact that you guys are even talking about the word lit, which is dead at this point. So dead. That's what I was trying to say. Yeah, but you kept saying. It's dead. We're not trying to say that. I was just, what I've been saying this whole time. It's dead.

You guys, you guys need to move on to what's new. What's okay. What's new? What's new, Matt? Give us a look into the trend. Look, if you have to ask what's new. You don't know. You don't know. Right. So I'm not going to just fill you in. And if you don't know. He has no idea. So, so why will you not buy Brian coffee? Let's, let's segue to that.

Okay. So, so here's the thing. This is what's funny is like, I literally like, this is what's so cool about our team is when one person goes somewhere, they always ask like, Hey, what can I get you? And like at this point, it honestly, I feel selfish. If I'm going to go somewhere, not asking, like, I feel weird about coming back with just something for myself. Now, is that weird?

Should we fix that? Or do we like that? Cause here's the thing. I don't think it, I don't think it should always be assumed. Cause what if, I don't think it should be assumed. What if you accidentally were like the one to go four or five times in a row and then all of a sudden, you know, it's like, man, I just spent 200 bucks on food and drinks.

But the thing is, it's an equalizing thing. So it's, it's, you be conscious of it in the same way that we've earned our radical transparency. Honestly, if I go buy stuff a couple of times, sometimes I will straight up be like, Hey, Shea, can you get this one? You know, or whoever I'm with. Well, and that just happened. So that happened yesterday. So I was on my way in and I wasn't planning on stopping.

And Joey was like, Hey, will you get me a coffee? That was what I did. And he's like, will you get me a coffee on your way in? There was no, like, if you're going or anything like that. And I have to admit, I was like, yeah, like, I guess so. Cause then I asked the question. You could have said no. Oh, a hundred percent. So I replied and said, ha ha.

Which is a no. That is a soft denial. How did Joey respond? And he said. He wasn't the best listener, was he? He said, so is that a yes? And I, and then I said, sure. Ask Brian what he wants. And Joey replied and said, well, Brian's, Brian's not in. And I said. Well, so now all of a sudden it turned into, you were, you weren't even going to go.

Right. Now you're buying Joey coffee and Brian coffee. And Brian. And then I knew you were coming back after PT. So I thought I'll get him a cold brew. Cause that might be something that he wants. That was very nice by the way. So, because, because it would be weird if like you. I drank mine too. So then I come back. This is probably times five or six that I've come back with coffee for Brian.

Now I will say there are times that I come back with coffee for Brian and Brian never asked for it. So I don't expect if he didn't want it, then all cool. Like I don't have a problem with that, but I will come back with coffee for Brian and it will sit and condensate and he will have two and a quarter sips and it'll sit there all day.

Oh yeah. I full on, it's so bad. And I'm like, I love when you said condensate. That was really, yeah, I, I Kobe that out there and it, and it hit. Yeah. I'm going to, I'm going to pick that one up. So hold on. We, we, no, no, no. We got to backtrack here for this, to this listening and text messaging and etiquette and things. Joey, before you do that, before you do that, what ended up happening yesterday was, um, I said to Joey, Hey, I'm super hungry.

Let's go get some food. And Joey paid for my lunch. That's what I was about to say. Which is, which is cool. Right. Which is cool. But that doesn't change what I'm going to say because I believe that there's etiquette attached to what happened. Oh, okay. Okay. And, and, and this is just my opinion here. You know what? I'm realizing I, I'm three times during this podcast, I wanted a drum roll button because it just isn't needed.

Oh, sure. That's a good, so. So I'm going to just do a drum roll for you. Okay. And then, and then by next podcast, can we please have a real drum roll? Yeah. Yeah. I failed on that one. Okay. Um, that's all right. I forgive you. And, and, and Brian, don't worry about the drum roll on your end. Yeah. Yes. It just doesn't have the same exact.

It just sounds like a knock. To be fair, I shamed, I shamed Brian last week for drum rolling. Yeah, actually, that just came to my brain, actually. I shamed him. Everyone went to drum roll and I was like, uh, I'm very loud. You're guilty of that, actually, of shaming people. You do that quickly. Oh. You do. Do you want to know why? Why? That I shamed him?

Oh, was it bad? Because he ruined our live edit shot. So I had to tell him to please stop drum rolling because it ruined the shot. But why'd you shame him about it? I, I came in and said, Hey, Hey, Brian, I need, I need you to stop drum rolling. It's, it's ruining my shot. So actually I'm going to take back what I said. So you didn't shame him.

I didn't shame you. Oh, good. But now I'd really like to explore what you just Kobe'd into the center. No, like, like the other day when I said, um, what was it? Clout. And you, and like, you're, you're, sometimes you're like really quick to, if there was something new that you like, you get, you're, you're like, well, that's a dumb word. And then I feel bad. And then I'll, and then like two days later we're using clout.

Cause I feel like, I feel like right now we're bringing some darkness to the light and I'm going to, I'm going to just create a segment of the podcast called darkness to light. We need a sound effect for that though. There's gotta be like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. This is darkness to light everybody. So just let me, that's what this whole podcast today has been about. I think it's darkness to the light.

Cause we started with the coffee. Yeah. Now we're getting on to shame triggering. Yeah. Which are two very, very, very different things. But hold on. Can we, can we stay in order? We'll have to discuss it later. No, we can discuss it right now on the podcast. I have no problem with that. You shame people quickly. Maybe it's just me. I don't know. Which is a big, big Kobe.

It's a big, big. Why do we keep saying Kobe too? That's not a Kobe. Is that a Kobe? You threw it out there. Okay, hold on, hold on, hold on. You just got at her for shaming things. And then you're like, what did you say Kobe all the time? And then you just shamed me. Quite literally. I think it's us just being willing to jump on each other's stuff in like a fun way, I think.

But I don't know. Like, I think that we're starting to get more comfortable with doing that. And maybe that's new. I don't know. Brian's Switzerland over here. Brian's Switzerland. He's trying so hard. Brian's trying so hard to mediate. Because I actually like that we're starting to do that a little bit in certain ways. And like even in the living room, like when we do that with improv, I like it.

But I could be wrong. I think I'm still really, really struggling and trying not to get defensive about the fact that Matt Daring just said I shame people quickly. Yeah, okay. So that was harsh. But hold on. Yeah, it was really freaking harsh. My guy. It wasn't meant to be. My guy. See, there you go. My guy. All right. So hold on. You just shamed me. No, the my guy was a shame on me, right?

No. Like that's an attack. That's just Shea's thing. No. She says my guy to us all the time. No. If you were being the best. When she says, you know, you were doing that, my guy. Like the way she added it on there. Eh. Right? Do you want me to go? Should I go home? Why would you go home? Should I go home? No. Why would I want you to go home?

That's a silly thing to say. Don't do that. It would make us sad. All right. I want to back up and then we can talk about how terrible I am here in a minute. I don't mind. But I want to go back to this, the etiquette of the coffee. Okay. We're back. And I know we're way past that, but I think this is an important subject matter.

I do too. Drum roll, please. Except for Brian. So, all right. So, if you're going to ask somebody for something, to buy you something. Right. On their way in and they haven't said, I'm doing this thing already. Right. I think the etiquette is you offer to pay for theirs. That's what caught me off guard. That's interesting. I think that's the etiquette. Yeah. The etiquette is like, hey, would you mind stopping for coffee on your way in?

It's on me today. Yeah. Then it's like, that's the, you know. Because you're asking for a favor, essentially. Right. That they're not going to go do. Okay. I remember when I was a cart boy at the, uh. Cart boy. Yeah. Were you a cart guy? There's not really a name. Like a cart washer at the Point. Oh, okay. Tapatio Cliffs. It was my job. And I. The job title is you work in the cart barn.

Cart. I was the cart boy, yeah. You work in the cart barn. Anyway, there was, there were, there were always older guys there who had like graduated college. Yeah. And I was, and I was in high school and just naive and innocent and whatever. And, and they made way more money than I did. That's how this, that's how the system was set up. And so they loved to send me for food and they'd be like, yo, Dearing.

And I'd be like, you're coming out there from the cart barn. They're like, you're going to get us food. They're like, you fly, we buy. And I was like, and I was like. Oh, that's where that came from. Yeah. So, well, I don't know. I mean, I don't know that they made it up. I'm sure. But I've heard you say that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's where I got it from.

And so what happened was I was thrilled because I'm 16. Yeah. I don't have any money. Yeah. I get to leave on the clock. I'm getting paid and I get free food. Yeah. Yeah. I'm like, this is a great deal right now. Yeah. And this is before Uber, you know, there wasn't an Uber eats or anything like that. So I was I was their little you were the Uber eats totally and I and I loved it like it was no big deal.

But that is sort of ingrained in my head a little bit was the idea like, OK, well, if you're going to do me this favor, I'll hook you up. Yeah. But it is weird to be like, hey, will you get me coffee and then not offer facts? And then the secondarily thing secondarily, is that a thing? Yeah. It's a word. So secondarily, I think when when you got the ha ha ha, you you needed to probably react differently because like, is that a yeah?

Like you knew it wasn't or something like didn't because she will do that sometimes where she'll like make a joke out of something. But she means like, yes. And she's done that before. And I don't have a problem with it. I think it's kind of cute. I think it's with kindness. But it's just one of those things. And let me tell you, I agree with you. However, if I don't have cash and I use my card everywhere, I'm not going to have her come pick up my card and I'm not going to say that I'll pay her right away because I don't have cash.

For sure. So that would be a lie. So in that case, maybe you even throw that out there and maybe you say like, I get the next one or I'll pick up lunch or something like that. Because because then if you would have done that, you'd have been like, yeah, great. Oh, for sure. I'm on it. But it was like this. It was like this weird. There's like this weirdness.

Right. Well, the funny thing was, is either way, like when I when I responded, ha ha, of course I was going to go. Right. Did I have a problem with it? Absolutely not. But it was it was just funny because I was like, OK, like it's assumed that I'm going to go do that and that I'll get it for everyone else because I typically do do that.

I do. All right. All right. I'm going to I'm going to backtrack. Well, you typically do. Yeah. Hold on. Hold on. Because you do typically do that. You typically do. But it's not it's not a do do. It's not assumed or else I would have said, hey, get me coffee. Well, I appreciate that. Can you please get me coffee? Right. Because if you would have texted me, hey, get me coffee, you wouldn't have lived through the day.

Do we have the text? Can we see the actual text? Yeah. I need facts here. I think I said, can you please get me coffee on the way in? But I could have because it was super funny because like the other day, Brian called me and I was on the phone with my mom and I texted him and was like, I texted him and was like, hey, hold on a second on the phone with my mom.

And I called him back just in case it was something important that he needed to say right then and he and he was straight up honest. He goes, I was going to get you food, but now I'm out of the line. And I was like, well, you know, like, which is exactly what I thought he was going to say. And I was like, oh, cool. I grabbed myself something or something.

But it was one of those things where I was glad that he wasn't like, oh, it's nothing. You know, he just said, like, I was going to grab you food and he didn't answer. Well, and so is there something so something else we should throw out there, which is that you do always grab coffee for everybody. And I don't know that you have to. But now it's become assumed.

It's like one of those deals where if one of Leeann's friends buys one of our kids a birthday present, then they're in this endless cycle where they have to buy each other presents for forever. Yeah. And so then if they had like four or five or six or 12 or 15 kids that bought them a Christmas present that year, all of a sudden we're in this endless cycle of presents and you have to end it at some point.

You have to say, hey, you know what? Let's end this cycle because there's no way to keep track and everyone's feeling guilty. They're buying out of guilt and really, you know, it didn't start that way, you know? I feel like there has to be a way to state it so that you can figure out because like if you're actually doing it like as a full give thing, right, then you could say it a certain way that lets everybody know, hey, I want to get you breakfast today.

Like, oh, I want to get you coffee. Because it does get assumed. Like that happens with me. Like Shea does it for coffee. It happens with me for breakfast. Yeah. Yeah. Like I get, I get chick. If I walked in with Chick-fil-A by myself, I feel like everyone would be like, what the heck? However, like I rarely get the same deal, get paid back for that. And so sometimes I just want to get everybody breakfast.

Yeah. But then it's weird. Like if, if I came in without it, you know, because I usually do that. Well here, so, and here's, I'm going to throw this on there too. If I get everybody coffee, if you get everybody breakfast, if somebody does that without saying, like I'm saying, if you just do it, then I don't think you should expect to be paid back. I don't.

Facts. Agree. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. A hundred P. But if, so how would you phrase that? Like, would you guys like breakfast? Would you, would you like me to get you, would you like me to, uh, I'm going. Yes. Do you want to put an order in? Yeah. I think that's how it sounds. Ah, I like that. Do you want to put an order in? I mean, I think there's tons of ways you could put it.

You could say like, oh, I'd love to gift you guys breakfast this morning. Yeah. No, no, but we're trying to, we're trying to say the other, the other side. The other way. Oh. How, how, how do you make it clear to Joey that I'm not paying for your breakfast, but I'm willing to fly. I'm not offering to buy. Right. I'm on my way. That's an interesting concept.

Yeah. And that's when I was saying, I think it would be like, hey, do you want to put an order in for your lunch? Yeah. I'm going to get myself lunch. Do you want to put an order for your lunch at the same place I happen to be going? You know, what's funny is for me, at least I'm like that, that part doesn't, uh, like, I don't, I don't get the appeal of that as much because then it becomes a weirder thing.

I certainly get the appeal. Yeah. I get it though. Yeah. I mean, I understand where it comes from, but for me, I'm like, all right, let's be real. Like, yes, Shea did buy me coffee, right? But then I, I went right back around and bought her lunch and I was like, totally cool with that. What's more expensive coffee or lunch? Which is always, yeah, it was much fun.

Right. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. But I didn't ask. But who's bought, but who's bought who more stuff over time, Joey? That's a tough. Shea's probably bought you exponentially more things over time. Probably. True. But there's, there's plenty of time also where she will go and I'll give her my card or. Well, that's what I'm saying. So we're trying to establish the, it should be every time you just, and that's the other etiquette thing.

I think you should offer every time unless, unless they, unless they brought it without, without asking. And that's what happened yesterday. I was like, hey, Joey split it with me. Like you didn't ask me, you didn't ask me about the coffee. No. The cold brew yesterday. So that was a gift, a surprise. And I said, thank you for that. But I wasn't like, oh, whatever. But usually you buy me something and I'm, I'm always quick to offer or whatever.

And then you'll say, no, no, I got it. I'm like, all right, I'll get you next time. So there's like this. It, it always cycles. And so what's, I want to bring up this text thing because do we want to go over the text? Yeah, let's read it. Yeah, let's read it. So this is, this is what it was. Can you bring me in? Can you bring me a coffee when you come in?

Question mark. Three prayer hands. Okay. Three prayer hands. Okay. Yeah. So that was his please. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I read that and said, ha ha. And he said, is that a yes or a no? Dot, dot, dot. Laugh cry. And you know, it's funny. Laugh cry face. It's, it's not a laugh cry actually. That's just a laughing emoji. It does look like a cry though. It does look like a cry.

Yeah. And what's, what's funny though is I was in the middle of sending a text because I don't mind walking to Bosa instead. Oh, that's funny. And you replied immediately. Yeah. And I replied and said, sure, period. So then I said, oh, okay. I don't need to send that text because you said sure. Well, and this is what was funny. I said, sure. Does Brian want anything?

Period. Smiley. And he replies and says, I'm not sure. He's not in yet. I reply. Okay. Go ahead and call him and let me know if he wants anything because I'm, this is not my responsibility to now call Brian. Totally. No. No, but it was also not even your responsibility to ask. And then I, and then I called him right away. Right. Cause I recognize that. Exactly.

And you heard that and called him and then let me know what you wanted. And I'll tell you this, coming in, if I walk into the office and you both have a coffee, I'm not going, she didn't get me a coffee. No. Of course not. I wasn't in the space to get that coffee at that point even. No. Yeah. Well, and this happened the other day, which was funny.

You guys didn't know I was coming in earlier and you guys had lunch and you both looked at me and felt bad and I, I felt that you felt bad and there was no reason to, cause I went and got lunch after that. But it was interesting cause I didn't even, I wouldn't have even thought like. The thing that's so special and I just want to hit on this.

The thing that's so special is it's, it's not about feeling bad that you didn't go to lunch with them. It's about feeling bad that you didn't get to go together and spend time with them for me at least. Right. Right. And that's what you said. You said, Oh, I didn't, I didn't know you were going to be here. I would much rather grab lunch with our team or one of you than go by myself and have everybody individually go by themselves.

Cause the truth is we're all going to go close to the same spot. Yep. So if we can agree on it, set out 30 minutes to go grab something together, then it becomes a thing where we're all almost on the same schedule. It's kind of cool. It's fun. You get to talk for a minute. Like it's, it's a nice breakaway point for me in my day. Yeah.

That's why I get excited for it. Yeah. Totally. So I wanted to bring this up because I want it, I want to bring this to the light because it's something that I've always struggled with. And I know a million times that I, it's one of those stories that I make up in my head. Drum roll, please. So when I am texting Matt about something, it's, it's typically like, Hey, I need you to look at this email.

Hey, I need you to look at this podcast, whatever. And he replies K with the letter K. Oh. And, but he doesn't know that that's always been a thing that always scares me. Cause growing up, like if you sent that to someone that meant, that meant. K? What's wrong with K? Oh, there's, there's a lot wrong with K. I know, I know. And he doesn't know that.

He doesn't know that. That's why I brought it up. What's wrong with K? I know. So, so K basically means your, your text doesn't mean enough to me to give you a response. So I'm just going to say K. Or I'm mad. K. Or I'm mad. K is kind of like. Really? Yes. Middle finger over K. What? Since when? Since always. Oh, since forever. Since always. But I know you didn't know that.

Exactly. I know that. If you know the person, if, if like, if you sent that to anybody else who didn't know you, they would assume that you're just brushing them off or pissed off at them. A hundred P. You don't like what they're saying. Yeah. Especially if you put a period afterwards. Yeah. If you, if you go K period, you're in trouble. Yeah. Yeah. And it's like, it's like whatever you just said pissed me off.

We're not on a speaking basis and I'm not going to fight it out with you. Typical. So that's, that's how my generation was is when, when you would send that, it was like, your text doesn't mean anything to me. And you know, what's funny is it, it usually means I'm in the middle of a bunch of things and I'm, and I'm trying to give you the respect of letting you know that I received the information.

Yeah. It's sort of like a, a read. Like, Hey, this has been read. You could add like two extra letters and just put great G R A. Yeah. No, I, no, I could, but here's the thing. Like if, if, if, if it's an urgent matter and, and, and I want, and Shea's like, Hey, I need to make sure you know this thing. And let's say I also know Shea's about to do something else.

She's about to go on a date or she's about to do something, but I'm, I'm literally in the middle of something that I should not get out of. Right. So I'm teaching or I'm, I'm with my kids. It's, it's better for me to not spell out something long. If I can just go, okay, got like, got it. Of course. Like that's what I mean by that. And that's what's so BS about there being a connotation afterwards that, that people, cause I knew you didn't know that, but like it, so it's stupid because of course, when you send me that I've never have, I've been like, but I realized that you probably don't know that people think that.

Yeah. Well, here's the thing. I don't think anybody thinks that when it comes to me. Right. Because if I'm mad, you're, you'll get, uh, you'll get, you'll get, you'll get the same thing. I'll say K, but you'll know I'm mad because I've already told you I'm mad. Right. You know? So it, it, to me, it's like, you, you know where we sit right now, all of you.

So if I, if I send you anything, it's, it's going to have the connotation that is of truth right then. Yeah. Well, and this happened, but having said that words are important. This, because this happened a couple months ago, this comes back to our text over here too. Well, do you remember the text I sent you when I said I need to talk to you? No. Yes.

And you told me specifically the next day, you said, if I had to talk to you about something exciting and I texted you and said, Matt, I need to talk to you and you stood on it. Talk to the light. Like you stood on it and called me. Segment number two. And I remember being like, what? Like, I didn't even think about that. And you were like, Hey, just to let you know, I dwelled on this and thought something was really wrong.

Totally. Listeners, we are wearing our dirty laundry right now. Well, but that's the thing, right? So, and, and this is, this is what I, I just love. And I want everyone to understand this concept, which is, Hey, this thing that I at least now know or whatever, um, I, I know you didn't know this. Right. So let me tell you now, so you would understand how I operate, what goes on in my messed up mind.

Cause we all have messed up minds in our own ways. But if we don't share it with each other, no one, how would you expect anybody to know? But now, you know that that like, that's not a thing for everyone. That's a thing for me because I've been hurt in certain ways by certain people. And so I get a, I get a message. It's like, Oh, I want to talk to you later.

And to me, that's, to me, that's the K period. Yes. Yeah, exactly. To me, that's the, Hey, you, you like we, we're going to have a meeting. Yeah. Like what about, why don't you just tell me what's the meeting? Totally. Well, it's the same. It holds the same weight as we need to talk. Right. And that's never, ever, ever. And why say that? Why, why, why walk in and be like, Hey, we need to talk.

Right. Can't do it right now, but we need to talk. But trust me later, me and you are having a conversation. Hey, I'm, I'm about to go do this thing, but just so you know, we need to talk. It's going to get real. So think about it for the next couple of hours. Yeah. Really stew on it. No, we'll get back together. Well, and that's what happens with the tomorrow thing via text.

Right. Because it's like, Hey, we need to talk tomorrow. What? Yeah. About what? And there was, there was, I did that once too. Oh, I did it with Matt and I was telling him that I was so excited because, um, I was going to learn sign language because I think that would be. Have you started doing that yet? I, I, I did for about a month and then I fell off of it.

And it's, it's, it's something that is on my mind every single day that I really want to get back into. But I had texted, I had texted Matt and I was like, Hey, want to bend your ear about something or, or have something to tell you, have something to tell you. Yeah. And he was like, what, what is going on? And she's like, tell you tomorrow. Yeah.

I was like, I'll tell you tomorrow because it was a weekend and it was, it was late. Right. So she was thinking the same with the K idea for me. She was thinking it's not worth your time right now. Like I don't want to waste your time. It's something exciting for me, but, but it's not work related. So if you're in the middle of family time, I don't want to, I don't want to tell you now, but I'm excited to tell you something.

And he responded and was like, I need you to tell me right now. I'm like, just call me right now. And I was like, I'm learning sign language. And he was like, that's great. Okay. Awesome. Oh, okay. Well, good. I guess. So words carry a lot of weight. Text messages carry a lot of weight. Emojis carry a lot of weight. Punctuation. Yeah. So here's, so here's the thing with Joey's thing, right?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The, the emoji saved you. Yeah. Because I think there's a big difference in a text, but from saying, can you, can you get me some coffee or can you, can you bring me some coffee on your way in period? Can you bring me some coffee on your way in or is there any way you could possibly get me a coffee on your way in?

Because what does that tell you? Is there any way you could possibly, Hey, I'm asking a favor. It's right. And I'm buried. Yeah. I'm buried. I can't do this on my own. Which is where I was. Well, no, but that's what happened. Cause I'm telling you the three prayer signs saves you. Yeah. Yeah. That says the same thing. Yeah. Yeah. That's what I was trying to say too, because I was here and I was like, well, I'm wondering that's why I said I needed facts.

Cause once I saw the facts, if you didn't send those prayer hands, I wonder if my, if my response would have been different. Oh, I also have a wonder here that whether or not all this actually, Hey Brian, nice to hear from you on the podcast. Oh, Brian's here. Hey Brian, a lot of little things. Wait, Brian too. I'm just listening deep. Oh, now I'm gone. Joey.

Joey. All right. Good. Well, we've heard from Brian. Wait, Brian. Wait, and you please have to put your hand out while doing it. It's not that important. No, it's important to me. Please say it. I was wondering even if, if actually all that came from never bringing up the coffee thing. What do you mean? Like the fact that it never even got brought up. Yes. That you brought coffee all the time.

That's probably actually where some, a lot of this came from. Yeah. Also the fact that it never got brought up that it was weird until now is weird, but. I don't, I don't think it's weird. I was like, wow. Well, no, here's the thing. Because that's news. This comes down to, right. That's news. And, and, and this is where you don't get blamed, Joey, but now you do from now on.

It's an etiquette thing. So you have to understand whenever you ask for something, you have to offer to pay for at least for your own thing. Right. Yeah. Like it's gotta be like, Hey, lunch. Right. Like, totally. And then you got to listen for tone and you have to see, like you have to want to hear it. Right. You got to want to hear like, is this person right now trying to offer me a gift?

Like, are they saying, Hey, can I get you lunch? Or are they saying, Hey, do you want me to pick you up some lunch? It's a totally different thing. Yeah. But if, but then they start to become afraid to say, Hey, do you want me to pick you up some lunch? I don't want to pay an extra 40 bucks. You know, that's the idea. Yeah. It's, it's interesting.

And what's funny, Joey, is, is I could have told you this, but probably some of it was like embarrassment and I didn't want to admit to it. But like, you know, that, that day that I came in, I bought everybody coffee and I bought you that press hat. Yeah. Ooh, that was a nice press hat. Yeah. That was a dope hat. I had just gotten paid and I was feeling.

Rich. Yeah. That's the best day. I was feeling that. To buy things. Right. And I, and I do that a lot. And, but yesterday was not one of those days. And that was so part of me was like, I, I can't do that right now. Like on coffee. Like that, you know, can I, yeah, shouldn't, but I'm going to do it anyway. See, but if you had, if I would have just said that, I know, I know, I invest so much money in espresso.

Yeah. Like, why are we, why do we ever buy coffee? Well, a lot of it though, is I love my iced tea. Yeah. So. I love iced coffee with caramel in it. His iced vanilla latte with caramel. And let me tell you, every single time I go, they go, so you want an, I, you want a vanilla latte with caramel in it. And I'm like, yeah. Okay.

Okay. But here's the thing about press, right? It's better than Joey's old Frappuccino order. I like them. But the thing is, any other place you go, it's an iced coffee. Right. And, and at press, like they, they like are taken back when you ask for an iced coffee. They are. And I'm like, maybe I don't want like half milk in my drink. I just want an iced coffee.

Maybe they're shocked because you already have coffee at your work. Maybe they're like, why are you even here? Wow. Wow. I, that was just, that was just unnecessary. They got Matt's letters is what happened. Yeah. That just made me sad. I, I feel a little deflated because he's right. I feel a little attacked. I mean, I mean, for real. For real though. He just put in a, he, he just kind of underlaid a stinger.

You just put in a stab except, you know, I just want to say that I'm the only one who drinks the actual coffee you buy. What? But you, you just drink the espressos, which are more expensive, but you have a ton of actual coffee, which I drink. And I'm the only one that drinks it. I do know. Ooh. Let's say, should we get on a talk of only, of onlys or should we, we got to end this podcast guys.

Yeah. Oh man. We were about to bring another darkness to the light. That was going to be like nine for the day. This was going to be, we could go on dishes. We could go on the pieces of paper that are still in the front room. Yeah. Let me just say, let me just say, this was such a great podcast. Oh, so much fun. And I hope that everybody out of this gets the energy that we have.

We're ripping on each other a little bit this morning and it's great. Like I'm having a lot of fun. Me too. Let me, let me say something. Here's what I want to say to you guys. Good fight. Good fight. Good fight, everybody. Good fight. Good fight. Brian, glad you were here to observe. This is how you earn culture is you are honest with each other. You face the demons and you bring it up and you talk about it.

Also, I just am so happy to be here with this team and I just want you guys all to visualize. I want you to just close your eyes for a second and visualize the way that Brian is seated in his chair. He, I've never seen posture. It's just perfect. I'm working on it. It hurts. I'm not going to lie. It actually really hurts. He's got a blanket on with wool.

His hands are in a prayer pose. Like this dude is ready to freaking play. Not talk though. That's all for the Dearing Acting Studio Podcast. Everybody have a Dearing day. God bless you.